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The Journey

It’s something that I still have a hard time with. I see the goal. I see the outcome. I see that I missed the goal, not once, not twice, but three times. But I have to be reminded of the journey.

I’m watching TV one night and I see this guitar player jamming away. I wanted to write songs. I’d seen my dad write songs. I begin to write. I write one of my first songs about a celebration of one of my friends from school beating cancer. I was insanely nervous singing that song in front of my youth group. That was the first and last time I was nervous singing. Made some good friends through that. I’m walking around singing one day and a friend of mine hears me. She says, “you should think about doing that for a living.” A few years later as I’m finishing high school, I begin pursuing a career in music.

I began going to writers’ nights. Met many great writers. I had cuts, mostly by new bands or artists that never made it. Made some lifelong friends during that phase. There are a handful of people I still talk to from that phase of life. People that if I called today, they’d help me with whatever I needed. At the end of the day, I did have three cuts that made some noise, one of which was an all-star cast of artists. It went to #75 on billboard. On that song, “Dare the World”, I was a writer, producer, played acoustic, sang background, and sang one lead line (because I forgot to get that line from anyone else).

Me and Eddie Dunbar

I then moved into being an artist. It started with sitting in with a band led by Eddie Dunbar. That led to 6 different production deals. With each step, I made friends with the producers themselves, the players on the sessions, and writers that helped contribute. I spent a great deal of time in studios. I made friends with engineers at these studios. Made lifelong friends. Still talk to many these days. Some of the more notable producers were Jay DeMarcus from Rascal Flatts, Rob Galbraith (Ronnie Milsap’s producer), Shelby Kennedy of the famous Kennedy family (with credits like Garth Brooks, Reba), among others.

During this time I played the bar scene in Nashville. I spent most of my time at a bar called the Fiddle and Steel Guitar bar. Here I met many cool people, met a couple of heroes, and made lifelong friendships that stand strong today. I got to hang with Michael English, Toby Keith, Eric Church, Gary, Jay, and Joe Don from Rascal Flatts, and a host of others. I met my future wife there. I became close with the pickers that played with various artists. That period of time was a blast.

Fiddle and Steel

After 5 production deals came to an end, I took one last shot. I formed a band of a bunch of great players. Started with players that are world-renowned. Two of them chose to move in a different direction in their career. I ended up with a group of amazing musicians that seem to gel together nicely. We began playing out, writing, and pitching our sound to various labels. We then went into the studio with Rob Galbraith and Regie Hamm to record some amazing music. Warner Brothers was on board. They loved what we were doing. We were about to be signed when they had a meeting and decided that were simply were not country enough for where the industry was headed. And like that, 15 years of pursuit came to screeching halt. I looked around and realized no one was looking for the next big 36-year-old. It’s a young man’s game.

The next two years felt like one long funeral. It felt as though someone close to me had died. I was attempting to come to the realization and understanding that the idea of me touring with a record was out the door. But it still felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut. It felt like I had been chewed up and spit out of the industry. This contributed to my divorce.  

Dink Cook

That leads me to the journey. Looking back on that, it was the journey all along that was the part I remember the most. It was those I made lifelong friendships with that stood out. It was the process, not the culmination. It was the journey, not the destination. To this day, I’m still close to Eddie Dunbar.   

As this was wrapping up, I began officiating basketball. I quickly moved from refereeing middle school to high school, to college, to minor league professional. As I began, I wasn’t sure if I was any good. As I began getting hired by college conferences, I felt that I may have something. I spent thousands of dollars each summer on training to get better and better. I moved up the ranks until I was given a verbal queue that I would be on a division 1 staff. That person was fired from that D1 position before he could see that through. I continued to push forward but fairly quickly saw the writing on the wall. And the writing was familiar. It was a young man’s game. I made it up to D2 and everything below. There I settled in. I failed again. But there was still high school.

I came to my 16th season of refereeing high school ball and was selected to the state tournament championships. There were only 14 refs selected, so it was definitely an honor. Of those 14, there was only one there that had been in the TSSAA longer than me. At the end of the week, 12 were selected to work a championship game. I had a very good week. But I was aware that the leader of the state simply did not like me. All I could do is do everything he asked of me to the best of my ability. And that’s what I did. It wasn’t enough. When asked what I could do better, I did not receive an answer that I could do anything about. He just didn’t like me. Once again, 16 years and I feel like I’ve been chewed up and spit out of a profession for nothing that I could control. I spent the next two weeks trying to find the energy to get out of bed. I’ve now failed majorly three times!

Mason Smith & Justin Dorris

This leads me to the journey. The refs that I’ve met through the years are now lifelong friends. I’ve had many times where they came to my rescue, and I’ve come to theirs. At any moment, if I’m near their town and I need anything at all, they’ll be there. I have no doubt.

If the why is people, I’ve been blessed beyond measure. It doesn’t make the ending any easier. It’s still painful. It still makes you wonder. But it was never about the destination anyway. It was about the journey. Thank God for the friends. Thank God for the fun stories. Thank God for the journey. If you take anything away from this story, the destination takes care of itself. So don’t ever lose sight of the journey.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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It Starts With Us

Church… we have done a terrible job.

In light of the events at Covenant school, the haves and have nots put on their gloves and begin to duke it out. Of course, and predictably, one side says it’s a trans issue. The other side says it’s a gun issue. No one can believe it can be both or neither. It has to be one of these because “my team” says so.

We could break down the issue that the killer had a map and a manifesto. So whether it was a gun, a bomb, a knife, a car, someone was going to get hurt or possibly die regardless of the weapon. The killer had it in her mind that this was going to happen. The weapon was the vehicle. But let’s not let a moment go by to push an agenda to make sure we get reelected. It is worth noting that the killer passed a preferred first location because there was armed security and knew she wouldn’t be able to carry out what she wanted. She picked a place with no guns, much like the Colorado movie theater shooter.  

TOPSHOT – Robin Wolfenden prays at a makeshift memorial for victims outside the Covenant School building at the Covenant Presbyterian Church following a shooting, in Nashville, Tennessee, on March 28, 2023. – A heavily armed former student killed three young children and three staff in what appeared to be a carefully planned attack at a private elementary school in Nashville on March 27, before being shot dead by police. Chief of Police John Drake named the suspect as Audrey Hale, 28, who the officer later said identified as transgender. (Photo by Brendan SMIALOWSKI / AFP) (Photo by BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP via Getty Images)

We could make some irrational attempt to tie this to recent legislature in Tennessee. The legislation passed prohibits obscene performances from targeting children. The governor and lawmakers who wrote and sponsored the bill are on record saying it is not to address what is currently happening in Tennessee. It is designed to address what is happening in other parts of the country and making sure it doesn’t happen here. So no, it’s not a crime to be trans or a drag queen. Please continue to have the exact same fun you were having before. But if you target children in any way, you will be arrested. And rightfully so. Children often have to be saved from their parents. If you don’t believe me, go visit a foster home. And for those who say, “I can take my child wherever I want”, human traffickers are hoping you mean it.

We could make a point to call out those that claim there are 72 genders and normalize mental instability. We could point out that the chief of police stated that this person identified as transgender. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR) defines gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months. But then immediately after that the chief stated there was no history of mental illness. But he just said she suffered from a recognized mental illness… yet has no history of mental illness. That is a huge problem. Normalizing mental illness and being afraid to call it what it is. We cannot fix a problem until we recognize that it is a problem. The DSM-5-TR said it was a problem, why can’t we?

But here’s the real problem, those issues are not the core issue to this event. While I don’t truly know the motivations of the killer at the Covenant school, the fact that she was a former student there and came back to do what she did, tells me something important, THE CHURCH FAILED HER. There seems to be a perceived battle between Christians and transgender persons. That’s the problem, though, there is no battle. Or at least there shouldn’t be. Christians should not be in a battle or at war with people who identify as transgender. We should be available for them when they are in need.

If you saw this story and first thought anything other than sorrow for the victims and the killer, then you are part of the problem. For decades, and maybe forever, the church has been a social elite club where we ignore the problems in our own lives and spend all of our time pointing out the problems that we don’t struggle with. Hey, most of the church doesn’t (openly) struggle with gender dysphoria. So let’s attack it! Let’s put our energy in telling you what YOU need to do differently because there’s something wrong with YOU. Never mind our problems. That’s not important right now. What we need to do is illuminate your problems so no one knows we’re a wreck behind closed doors.

If the church wants to do something (besides “thoughts and prayers”), how about we start by not ostracizing those with mental disabilities. How about we love them right where they are. And point to the One who knows how to make their life less confusing and more peaceful. How about we stop attacking, do more loving, and being a kind face with kind words to a confused person. One thing I’ve learned about God is that he is never confused. He is always clear. So if you ever feel confused about something, that is 100% from the enemy. Never from God. For too long, the church has become known for what it is against rather than who it is for. This must change.  

So, for those that struggle with what the Bible calls sin (which is all of us) and those that are confused about how you were made, allow me to apologize on behalf of the church. Please hear our apology and know that we serve a forgiving God, a restorative God who sees us where are, saves us where we are, but loves us too much to leave us where we are.

For every so-called church goer that ridiculed you and made you feel like God loved you less; for every sermon you heard that made you feel like you don’t belong anywhere near God or a church; for every church going person that told you that you are not welcomed around them; for every time you were yelled at from a car and then noticed the fish on their bumper… for that, WE’RE SORRY.

The only real solution that will last is to stop normalizing sin and illness for fear of hurting one’s feelings and open our arms and embrace them where they are. Don’t ask them to change. Don’t ask them to be different. Accept them where they are and let God do the rest. My guess is this girl felt severely hurt by the church and never really loved by anyone that claims to love everyone. It must start with the believers.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Comparison

Don’t compare, enjoy nature, don’t break trust. Sounds simple. It’s not.

Finland was ranked the happiest country in the world for the 5th year straight. One psychologist from Finland helped explain why she believed this was so. It was based on those three principles: don’t compare, enjoy nature, don’t break trust.

Comparison is the thief of joy. I believe that quote was attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and Dr Ray Cummings. Comparison does a few things. Primarily, it distracts you from who you are and who God made you to be. Believing that you must be something you’re not is the equivalent to believing that God made a mistake. He didn’t. Comparing yourself to someone else distracts you from what’s true and robs you of experiencing any joy about that truth.

The other problem with comparing is that we’re usually comparing the knowledge of our best and worst to only their best. No one puts up their worst on social media. No one shows you what they look like when they first wake up and comments about how bad their breath is. You only get a “perfect” version of the totality of who that person is. That’s a false representation of reality. If you knew as much about the person that you’re envious of as you do yourself, you wouldn’t be so envious of them.

One last reality about comparison is comparing how great you are compared to others. This is equally troubling, maybe more so. You have gained success and you make sure everyone knows it. You flaunt the bling out loud. The problem is, when you no longer have that success, or you realize it doesn’t provide eternal joy, the smile goes away. One way to achieve true happiness is to be humble in your fortune/blessing.

Enjoying nature is simple. It’s usually quiet. It’s amazing to look at something and think a creator put it all together. The same creator that made nature made you. It’s humbling. Sometimes it’s breathtaking. Enjoying nature helps you put things in perspective.

Trust is something that is given until broken. The longer it isn’t broken, the more is given. My favorite definition of integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching and no one will find out. Be the person that is so trustworthy that everyone knows they can depend on you. Be the reason people smile. Keep your word. If you find money, do the right thing. And know that one day you will be wishing someone else does the same for you.

The more we find these things in our society, the happier we become. In America, it’s worth stating the obvious 4th thing to do to be happy, limit your social media intake. It’s designed to stoke the fire of whatever angers you. It’s designed to give you only one perspective, yours. You learn nothing that way. Get off of it and look around. People are way nicer in person than on social media.   

Stay Classy GP!

J Grainger    

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Social Media v. Free Speech

“Conspiracy theorists are everywhere these days!” “Stop the spread, get the vaccine!” “Care about your neighbor, have a heart, think of someone other than yourself!”

These are all very familiar words of virtue signaling, shaming, condescendingly accusatory from the morally superior. It wasn’t enough that you disagree or that you choose to make a decision for yourself. You must verbally say from the mountain top that you will inject a trial phase of a chemical into your body or you are morally repugnant and will get what you deserve. The attacks came frequently and regularly.

If you were on social media and made the claim that the covid vaccine did not stop you from getting covid, you were immediately written off as a conspiracy theorist. If you made the claim that getting the vaccine did not prevent you from sharing the virus with someone else, you were also written off as a conspiracy theorist. The New York Supreme Court recently ruled that those that lost their jobs due to choosing not to get the vaccine, which was based on the companies’ claim that the vaccine could stop the spread of Covid, were able to return to work with back pay. But yet another thing happened that affected the pocketbooks of others.

If you were someone who made money from social media because of the number of followers you had, and you shared such incendiary rhetoric on your platform channel, you would soon find that, magically, no one was seeing your posts. It’s commonly called “Shadow banning.” You were finding that you were “accidentally suspended” for a day or 2. When returning, you would find that the number of followers to your page had dramatically decreased. This happened to the Babylon Bee. It happened to many conservative commentators. Some would go from somewhere around 100k followers, get temporarily suspended, and return with 12k followers. Their explanation was “oops.” Well, we now may have a decent idea where the “oops” was coming from.

If the documents are real and this story is true (Big “IF”), the federal government has had open access to being able to quickly squash what it deems “disinformation.” Why is that a big deal? Because the government isn’t allowed to do that, per the 1st amendment. However, a private company is not bound by the constitutional limits of free speech, per section 230 of the Communications Decency Act (CDA). So how did the government get away with doing this? Through social media platforms. Ok, but social media companies are private. Yup, this is where it gets dicey.

There is something called a “State action doctrine.” Basically, there are two instances where actions of private parties are deemed acting on behalf of the state, or “state action.” One is when a private entity does something that is normally reserved for government. This part of the state action subject can be seen in the U.S. Supreme court case Manhattan Community Access Corp. v. Halleck. In this case, New York had a regulation that required cable networks with more than 36 channels to have a public access channel. A disgruntled employee of the public access channel MNN was fired and chose to sue on violation of constitutional rights. The Court ruled that running a TV station was not a function exclusive to the government because both public and private companies ran TV stations.

Another side of a case like was in Marsh v. Alabama. In this case, Chickasaw, Alabama was a privately owned company town. Grace Marsh wanted to distribute religious material throughout the town. Marsh was convicted of criminal trespass for doing so. Marsh appealed that her 1st amendment protections were violated. The Court agreed with Marsh. Even though the town was privately owned, it acted in a manner that was normally a function of the government and thus created a conflict between property rights and constitutional rights. Justice Black stated that when those are in conflict, constitutional rights should take priority.

The other instance in which private parties are deemed to be acting on behalf of the state is if there is a close relationship between the actions of the private party and what the government seeks to accomplish. American University Law Review lists this out in detail HERE.

So, one could make a solid claim that section 230 of the CDA is unconstitutional solely based on Carter v. Carter Coal Company in which the Court ruled that government power cannot be delegated to a private company so that the private company can then regulate other private companies, or even its own, which seems to be exactly what happened with the passing of section 230.

However, one doesn’t have to look far to find a case much like what we’re seeing in the “social media v. free speech” debate. In fact, I had to look directly into an organization that I’ve worked with for 15 years. In Brentwood Academy v. TSSAA, the TSSAA, which is recognized as the leading and primary organization for the regulation of school sports, both public and private, penalized Brentwood Academy for putting “undue influence” on football recruits. Brentwood academy sued that these actions by the TSSAA violated their First and Fourteenth amendment rights. The TSSAA held that they were a private company. The Court agreed with Brentwood Academy that because there is such a close relationship between the private company’s function and that which the government seeks to uphold, and because the TSSAA was recognized by the state board of education as the primary organization to regulate sports, that there was no reason to “claim unfairness in applying constitutional standards” to the TSSAA. If these DHS documents are real, there has been, for some time, a VERY close relationship between the government and social media tech giants, namely Facebook and Twitter. Watching this all play out will be interesting. But anytime someone wants to silence someone else’s speech, it’s of the utmost priority to know why, and it’s never “for the good of the people.”

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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The Girl Who Cried Wolf

We have all heard the story called “The boy who cried wolf.” Unfortunately, this is happening in sports today. The latest version is the BYU story. If you haven’t heard, BYU plays Duke in women’s volleyball. A player from Duke claims to have heard a fan behind her yell a racial slur while she was serving. The country went into an uproar, again, assuming the story was accurate before the conclusion of an investigation. Today’s society judges in a trial by social media, not facts.

Immediately following the incident, the BYU athletic director let the coach and the player know that if indeed someone did this, they were very sorry, and that person would be dealt with. BYU then immediately began their investigation. They interviewed over 50 people and viewed video footage of the entire area where the vitriol came from. The even isolated audio from that area. They found no such word said and saw no one say anything remotely close to that. The conclusion of their findings was that there was no such thing uttered from the fans.

What if they’re covering for someone?

This would be worse than the guy having said it. This would mean that not only one guy had serious hatred for someone based on their color, but an entire group of people would all share the same hatred and manage to cover it up. The likelihood of this in 2022 is virtually nonexistent.

Why would she make that up?

This isn’t the first time someone in a bad position in a sports event has used this claim as an excuse for poor performance in sports. I didn’t even have to look it up to know that BYU won that match. I didn’t have to look it up to know that Duke played terrible in that game. But just to be sure, I looked it up and confirmed all of that. BYU won 3-1. The reason someone would do that is tough to understand but at the same time, reasonably simple. Someone would look for a way to excuse the poor performance of the team or a certain player. And if the other team is all or predominately white, one excuse could be to claim racism. The simple part is that everyone knows that if you cry racism, everyone WILL believe you and stop what they’re doing, point out the accused, and label them guilty, regardless of facts. It’s so serious of an allegation that you have to stop and treat it with extreme importance. And rightfully so. Everyone will believe you until it is proven otherwise. And even when proven otherwise, as is the case in two stories I’m sharing in this blog, they will still believe you, in spite of facts.

I’m a basketball referee and I have a colleague that was in a game where this happened. One team was all black and the other had roughly 5 black players (3 of which were on the court during the alleged incident) of the 9 on the team. The all-black team was getting beaten badly. One girl didn’t like a foul called against her and stormed off the court. After a couple of minutes went by, she claimed the referee used a racial slur towards her. This was investigated thoroughly. The mother claimed she heard it. There were problems discovered in the investigation. Problem #1: the mother was roughly 80 feet away in a noisy gym. It’s impossible for her to have heard that. Problem #2: none of the black girls on the other team heard any referee say anything close to that. They stated had they heard that, there would have been major problems. Problem #3: there were roughly 15 black students and parents sitting on the first row of the bleachers approximately 10 feet away and the referee was facing them when he was supposed to have said it and none of them heard anything like that. Problem #4: The school where the girl attended refused to cooperate with the state’s investigation. Problem #5: the other 2 referees were standing right there, and I know them personally and they told me privately that had he said anything close to that, they would have sent him home. But he never said anything close to being inappropriate. A black representative of the state was the person investigating the incident. After weeks of interviews, video, and audio research, his conclusion was that there was no wrongdoing by the official.

There are a few problems with this. The most obvious is that it is a lie that can cost someone their job and livelihood. This official could have lost his day job due to his company not wanting the bad press. Another problem is that each time there is an allegation of this magnitude that turns out to be false, it dilutes and takes away from the ones that are true and real. Are there allegations like this that are true? Sure. For instance, this week in Katy, TX, a group of high school students made monkey noises towards black volleyball players. This is inexcusable and needs to be dealt with. This was a real issue. But when someone is playing poorly and decides to cry racist/wolf, this only makes it harder to investigate the real ones.

Another problem is it creates a new oppressed group. Just this week, a teacher at Madison High School in San Diego wrote “fascists” on the board and then listed under that term, who the fascists are in our country. The teacher included all white people, Christians, heterosexuals, and the Republican party. Anytime a group continuously pushes down, oppresses, and suppresses another group, in the history of our country, it only gets ugly. It never goes well and eventually the oppressed group has had enough and does something drastic to end it. Look at women’s rights, gay rights, civil rights. At some point, we have to believe the best in our brother and sister, black, white, or brown. We have to let ancient history be just that. We have to expect the best of people, not the worst. Because if you continue to push a group of people down merely for existing and being born a certain color, it will only hurt everyone, and not help anyone. We learned this in the late 60’s. We need to avoid repeating that.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger 

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Till the Ground

Parents of small/young children, I’m begging you to read this.

The issues I’m seeing the most among parenting young children these days are:

  1. We plant seed before we till the ground
    1. Tilling includes
      1. Teaching them how to obey the first time.
      1. Teaching them that we act differently in public than we do at home
  2. Too much autonomy
  3. We make the child too important

Tilling obedience.

I see many parents of young children spend a great deal of time plotting out how they are going to do creative things to help their little one grow emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. And these are good things. But if we haven’t taught them to first obey you the first time you speak, the other things you teach them will be for nothing because a) they believe the world is all about them and b) they don’t really respect you or they’d obey the first time. Asking a kid to do something is not always a good thing. Sometimes it is, but not always. Sometimes, I dare say most of the time, it is a better idea to tell them to do something, rather than to ask. Telling them or asking them multiple times shows a few things. It shows they really don’t respect your authority. They don’t believe there is a consequence to deliberately ignoring your request or demand. It shows that they believe they are so important, they don’t have to listen to you. It also shows they don’t believe you really want them to do whatever it is you’ve told them to do.

Tilling how to act in public.

I see this all the time. Actually, every time I go out. Kids are not taught to act differently in public. Therefore, they act exactly the same way in public as they do at home. There is a clear difference on how to act to not disrupt social interactions. I understand that society has defined this. I also understand that if your child is to succeed in this world, they must learn social aptitude and develop social intelligence. Teaching them that it is rude and wrong to kick the back of a chair on the plane or at the movies is necessary. Teaching them when it’s time to sit calmly and quietly and when it’s ok to run and have fun is necessary. Teaching them that destroying their dinner table at a restaurant is rude and won’t be accepted… is necessary. Teaching them not to interrupt is necessary.

Too much autonomy.

“But why can’t I go to this party? Everyone I know will be there! I should be able to make my own decisions!” My response was, “At 14 you can’t operate a vehicle. At 15 you can but with someone else in the car. At 16 you can operate a vehicle without anyone in the car, but you can’t vote. At 18 you can vote, but you can’t buy a glass of wine. At 21 you can buy a glass of wine, but you can’t rent a car. At 25 you can rent a car. Even the government knows that with age comes the ability to handle responsibility and make better decisions.” She didn’t like that, but it’s not my job to worry about what she likes.

Children are being given way too much autonomy. They are being allowed to make way too many decisions. I understand the need to let them make some decisions so they learn how to make good decisions. That isn’t an issue. The issue is in our best effort to teach them how to make good decisions, we let them make decisions they aren’t ready to make. If their chances of making a good certain decision is 0%, they’re not ready for that decision and the parent needs to make it for them. Children shouldn’t be deciding where you’re going, when you’re going, and when you’re leaving. They shouldn’t be deciding where you (or they) go to church or dinner. With each birthday, they get to decide more, but in very small increments. But this leads to the last point…

Too important.

Children are being taught that they are way more important than they really are. They are NOT more important than their teacher, their coach, their principal, their boss. They are making those decisions we just talked about because they believe they are the most important person in any room. There are serious consequences to believing this and it going unchecked by their parents.

Repercussions:

The results of these not tilling the ground before you plant the seed is that the seed will fall on ground that won’t let the seed grow. They will not take the seed seriously. Therefore, the seed is planted in vain because the ground wasn’t tilled first.

The results of too much autonomy is they don’t really learn how to make a good decision because all they do is make bad ones. It also teaches them false social interactions. They believe their way is the right way and no one tells them otherwise and when they are confronted with this in the social world, they’re met with great opposing force and don’t know why. “Mental health issues” are to follow.

The results of them being too important is simple. It puts them in a place to believe something about themselves that simply isn’t true and prohibits them from succeeding socially.

Other results include being a total disruption to your home and any social interactions you may have as a parent with other adults. Some may read this and say, “well why are we treating social aptitude with greater emphasis than self-worth?” Good question. Self-worth will come when they realize where their REAL place is in this world. If they are not believing those in authority, making too many decisions too early, and believing they are more important than they really are, they are set up for disaster, not success. I’m firmly convinced that social intelligence is FAR more valuable than self- worth, self- esteem, and academic knowledge. When you are socially apt, the rest of those attributes fall into place. Liberty resides within a set of boundaries. Without the boundaries, there is no liberty. If you want to free your children, create boundaries.

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The Tea is Headed Back to the Harbor

With the recent seizure warrants for Republicans just after the Trump raid, one has to wonder what the end game is. At what point is the government too powerful? The true answer is that happened a long time ago. The original design of the presidency was to be a commander in chief, primarily in foreign affairs. He was to be VERY limited in power and at the service of the people through elected leaders. The elected leaders were to listen to the people and legislate accordingly. NONE of this has happened in quite some time.

I get searching one’s home if there’s reason to believe he has committed a federal offense. I have no problem with that. But there’s more than enough proof to have already searched Hillary Clinton’s home, Hunter Biden’s home, Anthony Fauci’s home, and why is no one asking for the Epstein black book that Maxwell has or knows the whereabouts? If they would have already raided their homes, this wouldn’t be a problem at all.

If someone believes for a minute that this attack on Republicans wouldn’t happen exactly the same way against Democrats, you haven’t been paying attention. Democrats and Republicans are in the same arena. The arena where the only thing they really care about is keeping office and lining their pockets. They prove this time and again. I’m not a cynic. Quite the opposite. But this is so clearly obvious, it’s impossible to ignore.

Some say we are headed towards another civil war, “but this time it will be class warfare.” It will be civil war, but it will be the people versus the government. The government has reached proportions of tyranny never before seen in our country’s history. Each presidency, there is an abuse of power. Every. Single. President has abused their power. None more than the current, or at least the puppeteers pulling the strings behind the scenes (I have a terrible memory, but if I shake your hand, I’m not going to forget I shook your hand 2 seconds later). They have all used executive power to basically write law. The most recent abuse of power is to continue the state of emergency so they can circumvent laws and rules.

I’m not that fearful though. For one, the military swear an oath to the Constitution, not the presidency. Also, this resembles the feeling people had when the British were all but forcing their brand of British East India Company tea on the colonies. So they dumped what would be $1M in today’s money worth of tea into the harbor. The people will have had enough at some point and throw something into the harbor. Tyranny never lasts in a republic. It’s definitely here, but it won’t last. Besides, I don’t follow a donkey or an elephant. I follow a Lamb.   

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Don’t Blame America

Serena announced that she is retiring. Part of her official announcement was making sure to take a shot at American society by stating that she is stepping away to spend more time with family and that she wouldn’t have to if she was a man. She’s partially correct.

Women are genetically built to nurture children. Men are genetically built to guide, protect, and provide for them. This is something that has been proven through scientific research. There are times when it is more beneficial to the family for the mom to work and the dad to stay home. Scientifically speaking, it’s not ideal, but it’s not detrimental.

If Serena was a man, she would be genetically built to provide, protect, and guide. But she’s not a man. She’s a woman with built in instincts to nurture and comfort. If she wasn’t feeling that strong genetic pull, she wouldn’t be retiring. I’m sure her husband is more than capable of taking care of children. But it’s too much of a pull for her to resist…. Because she’s a woman.

This speaks to the many people that are attempting to redefine biology to suit their mental needs. Human biology is a set of nonmalleable characteristics. We can’t just change them to suit our needs. If I have 5 toes on one foot, I can’t just pretend I have 8 to suit my mental need for more toes. But that’s not the part that really got my attention.

What really got my attention was that Serena Williams has the ability to continue playing the sport and for one reason or another she is deciding to stop playing and blaming this on American society. The same society that afforded her to have a net worth of $260M. She literally said, “It’s not fair.” Which part isn’t fair? The part where you’re famous and financially secure for the rest of your life? Help me understand.

Healthy societal structures are based on genetic predispositions and the family unit. She has benefitted from this yet attempts to blame her retirement on this. Forgive me if I find it impossible to feel sad for her knowing she released her retirement while sitting in her $6.6M mansion.

Blame science. Blame God (in error). But don’t blame America. America is the REASON you get to make the statement that you are retiring with millions of dollars in the bank. 

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger   

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The Debate over Abortion and School Shootings Have a Common Theme

You can’t scroll two posts without seeing someone sharing their opinion on abortion. The division. The vitriol. Everyone has an opinion and they’re willing to lose friendships over it. It’s worth noting two distinct things: 1- I won’t be covering the opinions of abortion in this and 2- the recent ruling merely returned the jurisdiction to the states, where it belonged in the first place. Nothing has been banned. The fury is over the fear that it may be banned in their state.

Just before that, it was the shooting in Uvalde, TX. A young man decided to commit multiple evil acts. Shortly after this event, the conversation about fatherless homes began to gain momentum, and rightfully so. The young man who committed those acts did not have a father in the home. I’m not shocked.

What is the connection between the two events? Lack of fathers. I firmly believe that’s the reason for the most recent outcry. If men were upholding their end of the bargain after sex, we wouldn’t have nearly the fury surrounding this issue. Mothers wouldn’t feel so helpless and alone. There would be more money available because the man is helping provide.

It started a long time ago but went something like this: President Johnson decides to lay out his plans for the “Great Society.” In it, he lays out a plan to help single mothers. He offers financial assistance to any woman that had a child in the home and no father/male in the home. While it probably had good intentions originally, it incentivized mothers to remove the men from their home so they could continue receiving money for their child. They were getting a certain amount of money per child. So not only were mothers incentivized to raise their children without fathers, they were also incentivized to have many more children to maximize their income. This is what led to the jump in fatherless homes. In the 1940’s and 1950’s, approximately 8% of white children and approximately 25% of black children were born to fatherless homes. Both of these numbers tripled by 2015. 25% of white children and 75% of black children were being born to fatherless homes. This plan obviously did not work and those negative effects were irrespective of race.

Now we’re left with the statistical nightmare of fatherless homes. Here are some of those stats:

*90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes (32 times the average).

*85% of all children who show behavior disorders are from fatherless homes (20 times the average).

*71% of all high school dropout come from fatherless homes (9 times the average).

*85% of all youth in prison come from fatherless homes (20 times the average).

*Daughters of single parents without a father involved are 711% more likely to have children as teenagers AND 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.

*90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live only with their mother.

President Obama stated in a speech that children from fatherless homes are 5 times more likely to grow up in poverty and commit a crime, 9 times more likely to drop out of school and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. Tupac Shakur recognized that he joined gangs because he searched for the things that fathers provide. He stated, “I know for a fact that had I had a father, I’d have some discipline and more confidence.”   

Studies have shown that children living with both biological parents are 20% to 35% more physically healthy than children from broken homes. Following divorce, children are 50% more likely to develop health problems. A child raised in a married family can reduce the child’s probability of living in poverty by 82%. Studies have also shown that growing up in a two-parent household is influential on reducing out of wedlock births. Studies show that kids who grow up in two parent homes have higher high school and college graduation rates as well as a higher likelihood of sustaining long term employment.

You want to fix the abortion issue for good? You want to do away with almost all school shootings? Fix those stats. Men were originally told to get out but then settled in this new life of laziness. I’m looking for an all-out revival of men stepping up and being the man God designed them to be. It takes a few things to accomplish this.

First, it takes the man willing to admit he could be better tomorrow than he is today. That’s a huge step for most men. We think we have all this figured out. Then we’re forced to admit that maybe we don’t. Once we can admit that, then we can work on it. The next thing that has to happen is men have to find someone they trust to point them in the right direction. Then they have to apply what they’re learning.

Next, their wife/girlfriend has to allow them to be who God designed them to be. She is capable of stopping that by not allowing him to lead his family. If she takes care of everything and he has no real responsibilities, he will never operate in the gifts God has given him. The wife/gf has to allow him the room to lead and make mistakes. Ouch. That’s where it gets ugly. Make mistakes? I once had someone ask me, “Well, what if you just know he’s going to make a mistake? You just let him?” My response was, “Unless you are 100% certain that you know exactly what he’s going to do and exactly what the repercussions are, then you don’t know if it’s a mistake yet or not. And even if you do, if he loves his family, then he won’t make that mistake again.”

“Men Step Up to Help Foster Families in Need Amid Pandemic“

Men have to stand up and be men. Love your spouse in front of your kids. Get them up and help get them ready for church, be the initiator. Pray over your children. Don’t know how? Ask someone to help. Serve your family by listening and caring. Caring about them more than yourself.

I’m fully convinced that the solution to the mass school shootings AND the heated abortion debate resides in the outbreak of men taking their roles and responsibilities seriously and choosing to do the right thing, even when it’s not easy. If the decision to overturn Roe v Wade did anything, it called men to step up. And if men will step up, society needs to let them.

Stay Classy GP (God’s People)!

Grainger

Posted on

What We Say

NyQuil… It’s the Nighttime, Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching, Stuffy Head, Fever, so you can rest, medicine. These are symptoms we are all familiar with. Each year, there are periods when this “goes around.” Reminds me of the time I heard someone ask my dad if he heard the flu was going around. He said, “yeah, right around me!” In this moment, he refused to give in to the societal norm of just getting sick when everyone else got sick. He also didn’t give in to the norm of just agreeing that you will get sick, whether you know you will or not. Why is this vital?

I firmly believe that our words create action. I’ve said this before, but God said, “Let there be light”, and then there was light. His words created action. Then He went and made a bunch of people in His own image. This means OUR words create action. Consider the story of Nick Sitzman.

Nick was a hard worker, married man, had kids, a good job, and overall, a good life. The only problem was that Nick was known by all to be a bit of a worrier. He worried about most everything. So on the day he was working on a railroad car and accidentally got locked inside a car, it was no different.

The story was published in Reader’s Digest many years ago. As it goes, Nick was stuck in a freezer car. He realizes, at some point, that his coworkers had all left the worksite. Nick begins to panic because he’s in a freezer car with no way to get out unless someone gets him out. He finds a knife and begins to carve out sentences in the wood floor.

“If I can’t get out, I’ll freeze to death in here” … “It’s so cold, my body is getting numb” … “If I could just go to sleep” … “These may be my last words.”

Nick was doing what we all do in times of despair, makes observations. Only this time, he wrote them down for his wife to find. The next day, he was found dead inside that car. The cause of death was listed as freezing to death. His body showed all signs of someone’s body shutting down due to freezing.

This doesn’t sound like a remarkable story, does it? That’s because there’s one more important part of the story. The freezer car was inoperable and had been turned off (some reports say it was unplugged altogether). As a result, the temperature in the car was 55 degrees. This wouldn’t kill anyone. But wait, he died of freezing to death in a 55 degree railroad car? How?

To this day, no one can scientifically explain it. It makes zero sense to the science community. But to many psychologists, it’s quite simple. Nick Sitzman spoke into existence the desperation of freezing to death to the point that his body followed what his brain told it to. He literally spoke his death into existence.

Understand, I’m not referring to “mind over matter.” What I am referring to is that if you speak of something enough, you will begin to believe it, no matter what it is. And as you believe it, your body serves your brain. Part of the reason for this is for every thing you say once, you’ve heard it twice. You hear it in your mind before you say it, then you say it and hear yourself saying it out loud. Everything you say once, you hear twice.

An example of this is many reports that came out of the Vietnam War. Stories had been fabricated by people too ashamed to admit they didn’t take part in any actual conflict. So someone in the soup line would make up a story about how they climbed over their partner’s dead body to get a gun and kill the opposition and how horrific it was. Here’s the problem, they told these stories so much, they began to believe them and the next thing we know, the hospitals were flooded with people who are telling horrific stories from Vietnam and their minds and bodies are reacting to these stories, displaying genuine signs of PTSD. The issue here is that it was proven that these things didn’t happen. But their body and their mind were reacting as if it did happen. They said it once, they heard it twice and their body followed their brain.

With so much going around about whether we should wear a mask, masks are useless, should get a vaccine, vaccines do nothing, we find ourselves in a position to make choices about our health daily, which is new to most of us. We normally think seriously about our health about once a year. But now it’s daily. Are we saying that we are healthy and that if we get sick, are we saying we will get well? If you don’t know the future, and you have no certainty that you will or will not get well, then exactly what would it hurt to say you will get well?

I know what it would hurt, our ego. It would hurt our hope. We are afraid to say something hopeful because we have been let down so many times believing something hopeful about a situation, only to see it go the other way.

So what do we have to lose, besides a shot to our ego? Nothing. Begin to speak positively of things to come. If it doesn’t work out, there was a reason and God uses every success and every failure to move us in a forward direction. The Bible says, “The steps of the righteous are ordered.” It doesn’t say that the steps of the perfect are ordered. We’d all be doomed. But the righteous, or those in right standing, have ordered steps. Watch what you say. Your words have ENORMOUS power. If you say something horrific enough that you begin to believe it, this means you can also say something good enough that you will believe that too. So the next time someone says there’s a sickness going around, look at them and say, “right around me!”

Stay Classy GP (God’s People)!

Grainger