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More Madness

“Three seconds!” “Call it both ways!” “That’s a terrible call!”

These are sounds we hear night in and night out. People that didn’t pay money to watch a game and cheer their team on. They paid to yell at us. It appears to be the only thing that brings them pleasure. If their team does well, we hear, “We are gonna beat them even if the refs are terrible!” There’s no way to be good enough.

Sometimes, some of these comments are warranted here and there. Never to the amount they are spoken. And definitely NEVER to the level of angst and vitriol that is spewed. No one is that bad. No one. Not to that level of fury. It’s a game. We’re not hiding in a bunker hoping a Russian missile doesn’t strike us. We are watching a GAME.

This time of year, the entire country is putting refs under a microscope. Everything they are doing is on a national scale. You must be robotically perfect to keep yourself off of ESPN highlights. Seven or eight camera angles. Every single step they make to the right, to the left, is judged. Every call and no-call is scrutinized.

But who is it doing the judging? The people who are NOT wearing the striped shirts. The people scrutinizing every play are the ones that are sitting comfortably in their living room, at the sports bar, even in a comfortable TV studio set. The people yelling, making racial and homophobic slurs at refs are chilling behind a keyboard somewhere (Btw- yes, racial and homophobic slurs all the time).

Who are these guys you’re yelling at? Allow me to give some examples of people I personally know, without giving out any names. A minister with a wife and kids. Spends his life helping others for little to no money. A sheriff’s department officer with a family that already doesn’t see him a lot. A shift worker at an industrial warehouse who leaves and goes straight to the gym after work and gets home after his wife has gone to sleep. A current active member of the national guard. A doctor. A lawyer. A janitor. A schoolteacher. A funeral home director. Hopefully you’re beginning to get the idea. These are normal (except me, I’m not normal) people, living regular lives who have families. These people sacrifice their time with their families in order to do what they love and give back to a sport they love. Their entire job is to make sure both teams have an equal opportunity to compete. They pay money to go to camp in order to get training and conduct job interviews for college conferences. They organize flight schedules, rental cars, and open dates to ref. Even me, who is a mere minion in this game, very low man in the rankings of officials, I came home after midnight 4 times in one week. I refereed in 4 states in 4 days this season. My wife almost forgot what I looked like. And I’m a nobody. Think of the real refs.

So where am I going with all of this? You think I’m going to tell you to stop yelling at the refs? Nope. Being upset about a call is part of sports. Wanting your team to win and disliking a ref’s decision at the end of a game is part of sports. Yes, we should curb our anger and reduce our veracity after we have expressed our disapproval. Your yelling won’t change the call. So be upset and move on.

I pull up twitter and the entire feed was about how bad the refs handled the UNC vs. Baylor game. I didn’t open twitter until after the game. And I was shocked, but I shouldn’t have been. I watched that game and thought the crew did an AMAZING job on that game. The Flagrant 2 call was exactly right. It’s what has been preached to us all year. They want unnecessary contact like that out of the game. Ejections get their attention. The game had been chippy. They had a double foul and a dead ball contact technical foul as well. They tried to walk a tightrope of both staying out of the game, but penalizing directives from the NCAA and making sure both teams are playing by the same set of rules. But the comments on twitter were 100% negative about not only that game but also other games. All negative. One said, “We won’t have any refs left for the final four if they go home after doing bad because they’re all bad!” Chilling on the couch with those negative thumbs going 90mph pretending to know something about officiating basketball. Hiding behind their keyboard warrior persona saying things they’d NEVER say TO some of these guys. Some of them are jacked. Wouldn’t mess with them. But they’ll get real brave behind their iPhone.

The thing is you seem to know so much. You seem to be so good at knowing what the refs should call and not call. You seem to be the authority on how to referee high school and college basketball. So here’s my challenge, prove it. Join us. You heard me. Sign up and join us to referee. If we are so bad at it, please, come show us how it is done. Show us the way, Jedi Ref. If you can spew vile things about a ref that is that bad, in your eyes, then get on the court and show him how it’s done, please. We need help. We can’t do it without you! If you refuse to, then stay off twitter and shut up. Say your peace at games and move on. Cheer your team on. They need you. The refs don’t. Unless you can show us how to ref, then by all means, sign up and let’s do this. So you can know why we laugh when people say, “over the back!”

Stay Classy GP!  

Grainger

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He Won’t: (So Love Out Loud)

“You have to get over here now! He can’t breathe! We need to get him to the hospital!” Words you NEVER want to hear about a parent ever, but especially in their 60’s. Covid had grabbed both of my parents and it turned into pneumonia. The bad part is that my dad had spent a night in the hospital and was sent home with oxygen. So, here’s what happened:

I’m coming home from Memphis and on my way, my brother Adam calls and says he’s taking Dad to the hospital. So I tell him I’ll meet him there so his wife can stay with mom. Adam and I, with the help of an old friend named Wendy Sewell, help get him in and settled. They eventually get him admitted and won’t let us in because of covid. The next morning, I’m thinking about what to do. I’m scared. Then I think about the verse that says to come to God with a child-like faith. So I think of my children.

So I text 2 of my daughters with this: “I need you to make me a promise. Promise me that you will pray out loud where you can hear yourself say the words. I need you to pray for your healing (one of my daughters had covid) and for those you love.” One of my daughters forgot. Haha. My 19-year-old didn’t forget. When I asked and she replied yes, I told her that her Papu was going home from the hospital.

That was the first time he went into the hospital. The second time it was a little different. My brother and I try to get him to the car, and he didn’t have the strength to go 10 feet. We have to call an ambulance. Once he’s in, the word gets out and the prayers begin. We get word that a large group gathering will take place at someone’s home. There is a group of people that convene outside the hospital and go on Facebook live and pray for my Dad and one of his elders that was in the same hospital. There were hundreds of people everywhere praying for this man. That was Monday and Tuesday.

On Wednesday he had continued to decline. By the end of that day, I felt very hopeless and full of despair. I kept it to myself, other than my conversations with my wife. I had become one of the “strong ones” for my family. So I had to keep being strong around them and for them. But once alone, the despair and emotional wreckage unfolded. I had to pull over while driving one night because I just couldn’t see through tears. By Wednesday night, I had begun to think of how life was going to take place with our Dad gone. I thought of all the things that were going to be very different.

The next morning something hit me. I wondered why I had felt so hopeless when I knew that there were hundreds of people praying for Dad. ALMOST AUDIBLY, God made two statements to me. 1- “You asked your daughters to do something that you haven’t done yourself” (pray out loud, not just in my heart, spirit, or some other froo-froo word). 2- “You feel hopeless because you are leaning on the prayers of others.” WOW!

He was right. I felt like they had it covered, but it didn’t fix my despair. So I said “Ok!” I began to talk to God out loud. I asked for 20 more years but would be ok with 15. But I needed at least 15. I felt like God started bringing up me being in some sort of ministry again. I thought that was a strange time to bring that up. So I said, “Then I need 15 more years. He’s been my guide most of my life. I have a very good pastor, but I need Dad too.” No, I was not negotiating with God. God doesn’t do that. But I was pleading with him.

This took place between 9:30am and 10am. Talking to God out loud so that I could hear myself say the words. For some reason, this was very important to God. Sometime between 10:30am and 11:45am, the nurse at Dad’s side called my sister-in-law, who had been our medical liaison through this journey. The nurse said that his oxygen levels had increased without manually increasing the intensity for the first time since he arrived at the hospital. Then about 30 minutes later, the levels went up again. Then by the next morning, they went up again! W-W-W-WOW! It worked. He spoke. I listened. He listened. He chose to act in accordance with my, and many others’, requests. I was a bit dumbfounded. Not that prayer worked, I’ve always known prayer worked. But that this interaction seemed so specific and purposeful.

Do I think it was my prayer that did it? Nope. That would be very arrogant and very NOT God-like. Do I think God was trying to get my attention? Yep. No Doubt. Dad is still in the hospital and if God decides to fully heal him, it will be because of the hundreds of prayers, the doctors, all the nurses, Erin Grainger, Wendy Sewell, the drug Baricitinib, Dad’s willingness to fight, and an enormous love between two love birds that married when they were 18 years old. In fact, of all of my brothers, their wives, and my wife, I contributed the least. But make no mistake, God knew His timing would get my attention. And it did.

One thing that has stood out so far is the stoic steadfast approach that Dad has had through all of this. It is as if he never once questioned the fact that he was coming home to us, and that God would heal him. He was never shaken too strongly. He knew something the rest of us weren’t sure we were convinced of. He knew that when everything around him was shaken, he was glad he put his faith in Jesus. He had seen him be faithful through generations. He’d seen joy in chaos. He’d had peace, at times, that made no sense. He knew that his lack of strength only meant more strength for God. He knew that God had never let him down. So why would God fail him now?

He Won’t.

“Rain came and wind blew

But my house was built on you

And I’m safe with you

I’m going to make it through.”

For me, the lesson learned is that you can’t rely only on the prayers of others. You must join them and also pray. Pray out loud. Love out loud. Live out loud. And if God has never failed you before, why would he start now?

He Won’t.

Stay Classy GP (God’s People)… and listen to this song!

Grainger

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One Contribution to Mental Health

The bottles flew, the state became embarrassed, and the country got angry. If you didn’t see it, The University of Tennessee (UT) was playing Ole Miss in Knoxville and the crowd didn’t like a crucial call the refs made late in the game. As a result, they began to throw bottles, beer cans, golf balls, mustard, and all sorts of debris onto the field. The items struck people on the field area. UT had to evacuate the cheerleaders, the band, and the dance team for their safety. It was quickly recognized that most of these items were flying in from the student section. So they evacuated the student section.

Having said that, the first response for everyone that wasn’t a UT fan was to point the finger at how classless the university is. The truth is, UT was playing Ole Miss in basketball in Oxford, MS and Ole Miss fans (students) threw similar items onto the court. I’m an LSU fan and there are plenty of stories of those fans (students) throwing eggs at the opposing team bus as it was either arriving or leaving. So the university isn’t to blame. The SEC isn’t to blame. The stadium isn’t to blame. And I submit to you that the kids are only partially to blame.

What does that have to do with mental health issues? First, let me say that for this issue, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all fix. This subject is just ONE piece of the overall issue of mental health. I say the kids are only partially to blame because they claim to have mental health struggles, and many do. Mental health struggles are real. They are not to be taken lightly. In 1990, a survey was taken of high school students asking what their biggest struggles in school were. The top answer was drugs and alcohol. Down around 10th was depression and anxiety. The same survey was conducted in 2018. The results were the opposite. Depression and anxiety were #1 and drugs and alcohol were #10. What changed? Parenting.

When I was growing up, I wasn’t that important. My parents made sure I knew I wasn’t that important. I was cared for, loved, taught, celebrated at times, but was never more important than the teacher, coach, police, or trusted adult. When I had problems at school, the approach was, “What can we do at home to make this better?” OR “Don’t worry, he’s in so much trouble, you won’t have this problem again!” Much of today’s approach is, “What can you do to make my kid pass?” OR “This is your fault. My kid is a great kid!”

Parents, for too long, have protected their kid from any and every dart flying their way. There is no physical nor emotional immunity built up as a result. They got a trophy for spending the entire soccer season picking flowers out of the ground when they were supposed to be contributing. These kids grew up feeling VERY important. The importance grew to entitlement. The entitlement grew to a lack of respect for any form of leadership or authority. I mean, who needs leadership or authority when you are already perfect?

Right about here is where the mental health struggles kick in. They’ve gone through life being told they’re great for doing absolutely nothing. When they are really bad at something, they’re told they’re great. When they screw up in school or sports, it’s the coach’s or teacher’s fault. Not theirs. Then they enter life, look around, and quickly realize that the world doesn’t think they’re nearly as important as mom and dad thought they were. This is where they begin internalizing this. They are thinking about what they are doing wrong… “How can I fix what I am doing wrong?” Or “What is it about me that is now so bad that I can’t seem to please them or anybody else?” Well… the answer is- you didn’t change; you are just finding out that the world isn’t about you. Something you were never taught before but should have learned a long time ago.

All of my kids can answer this as quickly as I ask it. “What is the key to life summed up in one word?” OTHERS! I teach them that their life isn’t about them. I teach them they come after my God and my wife. I teach them that the world isn’t going to hand them anything. I didn’t have this happen, but I know someone well that it did happen to. His son got a trophy at the end of the season and they were both aware that they were the last place team. He took the trophy and told him he didn’t deserve it. That kid will grow up with a psychological condition known as work ethic.

Here’s the problem, once a kid realizes that throughout his/her entire life, he was being fed a half truth and that the world isn’t that impressed with him and that he actually has to work for things because they won’t just hand it to you, this is where the mental health struggles begin. They were able to please their parents pretty easily. But now, it’s not that easy. This leads them to a place of severe depression. They can’t help but internalize all of this.

What’s the solution? Begin teaching your kids that they are only as important as their work ethic. Teach them that respect for authority is mandatory to thrive in society. Teach them that others are more important than they are. This causes them to be outward focused, which is exactly what Jesus taught. Make them accountable for their actions. Set an expectation and demand they meet the expectation. If they don’t, set the consequence and MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW THROUGH. If you don’t follow through, they don’t believe anything you say, which leads to more mental health struggles. I’m not suggesting this is the whole reason for mental health struggles. I am suggesting this plays a huge role. The AAP and AACAP just declared a national emergency for children’s mental health. One major cause was covid lockdowns. Children struggling with everyday issues is also a major cause. That struggle comes from unmet expectations. Let’s work on teaching our children what to expect and let them know you’re here for them, but you can’t “adult” for them. Give them the tools to succeed on their own. Their mental health will thank you.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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No Unvaccinateds!

It was a Monday afternoon in Greensboro, NC. Four men entered a Woolworth store in downtown Greensboro, NC. There was a sign that clearly said “no unvaccinateds”, but they ignored it. They sat down anyway at the “vaccinated-only” lunch counter. Franklin McCain recounted, “Fifteen seconds after I sat on that stool, I had the most wonderful feeling. I had a feeling of liberation, restored manhood; I had a natural high. And I truly felt almost invincible.” This led to multiple “sit-ins”, as it came to be known, where unvaccinated people went into vaccinated only establishments and sat down and refused to leave.

Following this, there was a well-organized sit-in in Nashville, TN. Several restaurants were the subject of the protest and a few variety stores, like Woolworth. Martin Luther King Jr., who was the leader of the unvaccinated folk, said that the Nashville sit-ins were the “best organized and most disciplined in the southland.”

Then there was the time in 1955 when Rosa Parks Refused to give up her seat in the vaccinated section of the bus. She was told to get up and go to the back where the unvaccinated people had to sit. She refused.

Or how about the “Little Rock Nine”? Nine unvaccinated students were blocked from integrating into Central High School in Little Rock, AR. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to escort the unvaccinated students, but they were still harassed consistently.

We can’t leave out the Freedom Riders. These were a group of unvaccinated people that attempted to use restrooms that were designated for vaccinated-only citizens.

Or there’s the march from Selma, AL where Martin Luther King Jr. led a group of both vaccinated and unvaccinated people on a non-violent march protesting the mistreatment of unvaccinated people.

Here’s the thing, if you can’t see that this is where we’re headed, then you haven’t read history. History can easily be learned from. If we don’t learn from it, the worst of it will repeat itself. America is on a crash course for just that to happen if something doesn’t change. Is it fair to compare a personal health decision to skin color? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. The point is that this is only possible by being grossly divided and there are many that are trying to declare certain members of society as sub-human, much the way they did black people during the civil rights movement. And all over a personal health decision that only affects the one receiving the care. It’s a “divide and conquer” strategy. And when I think of divide and conquer, the fellow with the funny little mustache comes to mind.

More History:

When Adolf Hitler took over the Nazi party in Germany, he immediately began his work by dividing Germany in regions called Gaue. Each Gaue had its own leader. Within each Gaue, there were subsections called Kreise. Each Kreise had its own leader. Each Kreise was broken into smaller sections, with its own leader.

See, Hitler knew, if he could just break the country away from one strong group of people into small, weaker groups, he could control them. If he could remove their guns, he could demand things from them because they can no longer defend themselves. This was accomplished by using what psychologists call “de-individuation.” This is where group behavior causes the people in the group to abandon self-awareness and self-control so that they are like the others in the group. At this point, the collective behavior overpowers individual decision making and reason.

There’s that pesky phrase, individual decision making. And we’re back to that pesky document, the US Constitution, which tells us that personal decisions that only affect us are ours to make. And more and more those decisions are being made for us. This is what led to the Boston Tea Party. Someone told the colonists that personal decisions were being made for them. And eventually, they had enough.

There are still some, for some reason, that employ the idea that getting a vaccine somehow helps someone else. I’m not sure where this came from, maybe Bill Nye, maybe Facebook scientists. But it’s nowhere in reputable scientific journals. The CDC has stated HERE that with the vaccine, you can still GET and GIVE covid. So the vaccine ONLY protects the person getting it, which is a good thing, by the way.

I’ve never been against vaccines. They are a great thing and will save lives. But I’ve always been against anyone, especially a federal government, making my personal health decisions for me. I’m also not against the truth. Even if it goes against what my “team” is saying (Even though I don’t have a team because they all suck). And the truth that getting or not getting a vaccine has no bearing on others seems to be lost on many. Cruise ships won’t let you get on without a vaccine. Why? So YOU won’t get sicker? Concert venues are requiring vaccines. Why? So YOU won’t get sicker than normal at their concert? Because, as the CDC stated, you can still GET it and GIVE it. So it then becomes only a personal decision. Companies are firing employees that refuse to get it. Why? So YOU won’t get sicker than you normally would? The new New York Governor is doubling down on tyranny as we speak and as a result there is a massive shortage crisis among health care workers. 

So where does it end? Do we fire people that smoke because they might get sicker than someone that doesn’t smoke? Do we fire obese people just because they might get sick due to their weight? It comes down to the fact that we are as divided as we’ve ever been. Those that wish to divide and conquer are currently succeeding. History shows us that if divided, we become a weaker unit, unable to stand up to tyranny and dictatorship. History shows us that this separation of “sub-humans” leads to separate bathrooms, restaurants, swimming pools, etc.

The solution is simple: Learn from History.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Eliminate the E.N.D.

The last kid is moved into college and the parents are back at home. The very next thing that happens is the husband and wife look at each other as if they’re looking at a stranger. The husband says, “who are you and how did you get into my house?” The wife says, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Slowly they begin to realize they’ve been married for 25 years and end up divorced because they don’t know their spouse anymore. I call these “Empty Nest Divorces” (E.N.D.).

I get these calls all the time in the insurance business. The wife calls to tell me that we need to split her and her husband into separate policies because they are going through a divorce. The situation is almost predictable. They are in their mid to late 40’s to mid 50’s and their youngest kid went off to college. I’m telling you that I get that call more than once a month. How can this be? How can that many people be divorcing after that many years?

Unfortunately the answer is quite simple. They put so much time, effort, and importance on their children that they never took time to cultivate their own relationship. As a result, they look up at each other and don’t even recognize the person they’re married to. They forgot that all relationships require time and effort, even their marital relationship. It’s not something you can just take for granted. Because if you do, you’ll be calling your insurance agent asking to separate the policies. You’ll be trying to explain to your grown children why thanksgivings will never be like they were. And they will begin thinking that they were the cause. If they wouldn’t have gone to college, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Believe me, just because they’re older and wiser doesn’t exclude them from the internal belief that a divorce is their fault. It happens to all children, no matter the age.  

So how do we eliminate Empty Nest Divorces? It’s not easy, but here are some steps. First, date nights must be priority. Once every 2 weeks is ideal. Once a week is too hard to accomplish and once a month may not be enough. This is top level priority. You don’t cancel, you don’t “come back to it.” You go. Go somewhere. Don’t spend money if you don’t want to. But go. Get out of the house and spend quality time together, with NO children around.

Having said that, the most important thing you can do to avoid an empty nest divorce is to keep your children Third in your life. Your life must reflect God’s design for living. In God’s design, you should have no gods before Him. Also in His design, what He put together, let NO man (mankind) separate. This includes your children. So based on that, your first relationship priority is your relationship with God. Your second relationship priority is your relationship with your spouse. That means that your relationship with your children comes after that. For more on priorities in relationships, click HERE.

Your children simply were not designed to be that important in your life. They were designed to learn from you and you being there for them to prepare them to “Leave mother and father and cling to one another.” Your children weren’t meant to be placed in a position where they are more important than your spouse. But if they become more important than your spouse, your spouse becomes a stranger to you. You grow separately and because you grow separately, you are in different areas of life. You have to grow together.

But is it really that serious? Is it really that rampant? How many people is this actually happening to? Glad you asked (ok, I know you didn’t ask, work with me here). In 2015, for every 1,000 married persons ages 50+, 10 divorced, which is up from 5 in 1990, according to data from the National Center for Health Statistics and U.S. Census Bureau. Among those ages 65+, the divorce rate has nearly tripled since 1990, reaching 6 people per 1,000 married persons in 2015. With the surge in divorces for those 50+, the empty nest puts couples at higher risk for divorce than ever before. So yes, it’s kind of a big deal.

So for those that have a chance to reverse this trend, please work on it. Your children will thank you; your spouse will thank you. Date your spouse. Don’t neglect that. Keep your children third. Then, when that last kid gets moved into college, you can look at each other and say, “now we can REALLY have some fun!” Life only gets better as you grow closer to your spouse.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Checkmate Government

I woke up this morning, fixed myself a cup of coffee, kissed a super-hot woman goodbye as she went to work, then sat down and started writing this. While that sentence doesn’t seem very monumental to you, in a way it is.

See, I woke up in a bed that I chose, in a house that I chose to live in. I fixed a cup of coffee that I bought because I like it. I chose and married a gorgeous woman that somehow puts up with me and chooses to be with me. Then I chose to sit down at a computer and type what I want to type.

Now, was that paragraph a bit more profound? Maybe. But just in case, let’s give perspective. In the mid 1700’s, the people that had settled here in this area we now know as America were making products to enhance their lives. They made their own food, clothing, and tools for working. One day, a group of British men came along and basically said that they we are going to tax you on what you were making and at the same time reduce any taxation or tariffs on companies they want to thrive there. In 1773, the East India Company was a beneficiary of this. That year, when a shipment of their tea arrived, the colonists took 45 tons of tea and threw it into the harbor. It took over 100 colonists and 3 hours to do. This gesture spoke volumes around the world. But why? Why this extreme? Simple, because they weren’t given a choice.

What we’re seeing more and more today is the reduction of personal choice over individual freedom. The laws that were set in place for the country and each local entity were designed to prevent or punish one from denying another those freedoms.

Maybe one possible reason is the division over feelings and facts. Maybe it’s those that truly believe that the collectivist cultures are the right way. They believe that because they emotionally relate to those cultures, that America needs to be a collectivist culture as well. There are great things about collectivist cultures. They are very family oriented. They are often very moral and ethical people. They give great weight to honor. All of these things are good. And to those I would say, Asia, Europe, South America would gladly have you as new citizens. America simply wasn’t designed to be a collectivist culture. Primarily because a collectivist culture sets aside any individualism for the sake of the group.

It was designed to remove the possibility of corruption in church, government, and other groups that were terrorizing them at the time. And the way to do that was to create an individualistic culture. This culture was based on the personal freedom and the idea that no one should take that freedom. This was the reason for the first and second amendments. The first was to ensure you had that freedom and the second was in case the government got so big and used tyranny as a method of control to maximize monetary gain. Always follow the money.

At the end of the day, any decision that only affects your health, should be a decision that is only regulated by you and no one else, especially any government body. If you wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle, good. That’s probably a good idea. If you choose not to, it only affects you. There should be no laws to govern that. If you choose to wear a seat belt as an adult, good. It may save a life. But if you choose not to, that should be your decision only. No governing body should relegate your personal health decisions. But alas, both of those scenarios have laws governing them. Why? Because we gave into the emotion of losing a loved one because they chose not to wear a seat belt or a helmet. In theory, that sounded like a good idea, but the problem is, it began the slippery slope.

Now as soon as some of you read this you thought, “But people need to wear a seat belt and if they’re too stupid to not know that, we need to regulate that with law in order to save their life.” Again, sounds good in theory, but where does it end? Some of you may have thought, “but it does affect other people, their loved ones will suffer because they’re no longer alive.” There is some truth to this but again, where does it end?

I don’t know where it ends, but we can all see where it continues. Insert vaccines here. We know that the vaccine does not prevent you from getting Covid and it also does not stop or even slow the ability to spread the virus. There is an article that explains this and refers to a specific study listed by the CDC that details this. So, here we are again, it only affects ME. I can still get covid and give covid. Having said that, there is plenty of evidence to show that it reduces hospitalization and even death by 90% or better, particularly among those that have the comorbidities associated with death from covid, like obesity and any respiratory problems. And yes, there is evidence to show that it can hurt someone. This is experimental. So, we have evidence that it hurts one and saves another’s life. THIS is why it should also be a personal decision. It is different for everyone. There is no one-size-fits-all to this. But we hear daily of those wanting to mandate vaccines for access to daily activities, including employment. I personally think it’s a good idea to get the vaccine if you have a comorbidity. But I also want it to be MY decision.

Are we seeing a pattern here? You see a group of people that aren’t being allowed to make their own decision on which tea to buy. And as a result of 10 years of enactments that limited personal decision more with each stroke of the pen, they finally had enough and threw what would be today’s equivalent of $1M worth of tea in the harbor.

I just have a feeling that at some point, someone is going to throw a bunch of masks and vaccines in a harbor somewhere that will get the world’s attention. If the legislators don’t arrive at the personal decision conclusion, the people will. History proves that. Everyone thought it was impossible at that time. Then George Washington said, “Hold my beer.” Checkmate Government.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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East to West

There I was, in my bed, not wanting to get up. Not wanting to wake up. Asking God to take me in my sleep every night for over a year. Sad story? Nah, I’m writing this, aren’t I? That means God didn’t listen or He listened and didn’t act on it… because He has this silly notion that He’s God and He can do whatever He wants (I speak fluent sarcasm).

Depression, anxiety, drug addiction, alcohol addiction… we all have either dealt with one of these issues or know someone very close to us that has. This is the current epidemic in society. Some hear (and believe) the lie that you must simply learn to live with it. I firmly believe that no one is called by God to have these issues plaguing us our entire lives. I believe they can be a thing of the past. But this requires both knowing what God says about us and where the battle primarily takes place. My pastor is currently teaching a series called “Winning the War in Your Mind”, based on the book of the same title written by Craig Groeschel, lead pastor of Life.Church. And this series couldn’t be more timely. This is the primary issue we all face.

See, Paul wrote, “Be transformed by the renewing of your gym membership.” Wait… no he didn’t. He actually said, “Be transformed by the renewing of your bank account.” Hold up… no, not that either. Paul wrote, “Be transformed by the renewing of your MIND.” He understood then, while sitting in a prison cell, that your mind is where the battle is. Paul understood that when Jesus did what He did, that concluded the real war. From that point forward, the battle wasn’t against flesh and blood, but against… and I quote, “rulers, powers, principalities of darkness, and spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavens” (Eph. 6:12). None of that sounds like the stuff we usually think we’re warring against. If that’s all off the table, then the only thing left is the mind.

I firmly believe that no one is called by God to have these issues plaguing us our entire lives

Jason Grainger

I’m not going to address each of the aforementioned issues society deals with individually. What I want to focus on here is what God says about these issues, what HE says about you, and what I believe are practical ways to both get out of the shackles of these issues and avoid going back.

See, Isaiah 64:6 says that all of our righteous acts are like filthy rags. Romans 3:23-24 says that all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. These verses basically state that no matter how good we are, we come short of God’s worthiness. The anecdote is Jesus. Once the crucifixion took place, you became heirs of God; adopted sons and daughters of the Most High God. That’s who we really are. God made us in HIS image.

To briefly address one aspect of anxiety, many times, anxiety comes about in “people pleasers.” The idea that we made mom and dad proud consistently and now it seems we can’t make anyone happy. This leads us to a dark place, wondering what it is we’re doing wrong. The sooner we see ourselves through God’s eyes, the less we care what others think. If someone is angry at you and you know you did nothing wrong, guess who isn’t angry at you… your God (and very possibly your spouse). I say that because that’s the only two people whose opinion of me I care about, God and my wife. For people pleasers, anxiety can begin to erode away when we really begin looking at ourselves through God’s eyes and understand that we simply cannot make everyone happy. So there’s no sense in worrying too much about it. Remember, if God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) 

Ok, I get that He is for me, but what can He do about the issues at hand, depression, anxiety, and addiction? Check this out, “I will send my terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation (enemy) you encounter. I will make ALL of your enemies turn their backs and run…But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land” (Exodus 23:29-30) The land is your own individual liberty from the bondage of depression, anxiety, and addiction. And it won’t go away all at once. Little by little God will drive it out! That’s great news!

But what if it was brought on by my own mistakes? Well, welcome to the club. This club includes…every single person that has ever lived, except Jesus. As Pastor Kody Woodard of Renovation church recently said, “Failure is an event, not a person.” Your issues don’t define you, regardless if it was brought on by your own transgressions or not. This goes for depression, anxiety, and addiction. That doesn’t define you. So if you’re not defined by that, then how are you defined? The Cross. That’s how you’re defined.

There’s something else. Look at this, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). REMOVED. When you remove something, it doesn’t linger around. If I remove my gym membership, they will not let me linger around and hang out when I want. I have been removed. Do you know why the writer said east and went instead of north and south? If you are walking forward headed north, when you get to the north pole and keep walking in the same direction, you are now headed south. But if you are walking forward headed east, you have to completely turn around in order to be walking west. That’s how far He has removed your transgressions (sins). So you are no longer defined by your mistakes, but by His acceptance.

I’ve said this before, but the two primary ways out of depression and anxiety (which are also the two ways to avoid going in or back) are community and service. Both of these are the antithesis of isolation, and that’s the key. Don’t isolate.

Community is a group of people. The best community is church. But community can also be a local club, or close friends. Church is usually the best community because they are there for you unconditionally and solely based on their love for Christ, which makes you eligible for their love and attention. You’ll need community in times of doubt and fear. Remember the story I shared at the beginning? Community got me out.

Service is simply serving someone else. This has two factors. One is that we were created to give. When we give, we benefit. That’s how God designed us. That’s why when we give a gift to someone, we feel great. The other factor is that it gets our minds off of our problems and on to someone else’s problems. And often times, in this, we find that our problem isn’t nearly as big of a problem as we originally thought. Again, with my story at the beginning, service helped keep me out.

So, if you’re headed east, turn around and head west through community and service. Don’t continue to believe the lie that you just have to learn to live with it. That goes directly against what our God says. You CAN and WILL be FREE!

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Does God Send Good People to Hell?

I can’t imagine God sending good people to hell!

From an emotional, and even logical standpoint, this makes sense. When one thinks of God, they think of who He is and what He embodies. God is goodness. God is love. God is kindness. You get the point. But to truly understand this concept, you have to know God’s nature. There is more to God than just sweet whispers in your ear during a crisis. God is also jealous (Exodus 25:5 & 34:14), vengeful (Romans 12:19), and a God of wrath (Deuteronomy 32:35).

We have all heard this phrase spoken. We’ve heard it said primarily in reference to people that live lives believing that there are certain sins God didn’t mean to put in there. He meant to say that “those” sins are actually ok. That the writers of the Bible just made a mistake. We’ve heard it said in reference to those that don’t really know what they believe, or if they believe in God at all but live a good, decent life. So that brings the question, would God send perfectly good people to hell? To answer this question and address that phrase above, you have to look at two things: what does “good people” mean, and does God send people to hell? We’ll start with the latter.

Imagine you’re on a train and this train is headed for a brick wall. You are certainly headed for death- no doubt. You didn’t do anything to really cause this. You’re just on the train. And you really can’t do anything to stop it. It’s going too fast to try to do anything about it. Suddenly, someone comes along and says, “I have a way out. It’s not easy, but it’s the way out. You’ll avoid death and live a long fruitful life.” What’s your next move? “Nah, I’m good. I think I’ll just sit back and hope for the best.” No. You wouldn’t do that. You would jump at the opportunity to be rescued from inevitable death.

This is the life we live, summed up. We were born destined for death. We didn’t get ourselves into this, Adam did that. We can’t get ourselves out either. So God comes along and comes up with a plan; Adam got them in, so he’ll send Jesus to get them out. So there we were, on that train headed for a brick wall. Jesus comes in and says, “I’m the way out of here.” What you and I do with that information is up to us. We can either choose to follow this guy out or hit that brick wall and perish being a perfectly good person. But in the end, God never sent anyone anywhere. He made a way out, and we choose to take that way or not. Up to us.   

But wait, they’re really good people! Ok. Well, let’s see what the guy that gave us a way out says. The next place we have to look is to standards. Standards are used in every facet of life in the entire universe. Standards tell us true value. If I say that a pizza is good, that’s one standard, my standard. I love pizza. I feel like I know a good pizza when I taste one. But then again, I like frozen pizza. But if an owner of an authentic Italian pizzeria in Chicago says a pizza is good, well that’s a different standard. Now that pizza just raised in value. It’s now worth more that he said it was good than when I said it was good. Unfortunately, our standards vary as well as ebb and flow. They are not steady. Sometimes they are raised and sometimes they are lowered, based on our current circumstances. God’s standards never change. If there’s one thing I learned in my boring philosophy of religion class, it’s that if God could change, we would be doomed. The fact that He cannot and will not change gives us a steady standard by which to live and a hope that we serve a truly just and almighty God.

So what are His standards? Isaiah 64:6 says that our righteousness, our best, is still like filthy rags, meaning that our best is still not worthy of God’s presence. Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. Basically, summed up, we can be as good as we can possibly be, like Billy Graham and Mother Teresa good, and will still not be worthy of God and being in His presence. So there has to be another way. Yep. Jesus. Being good does not qualify you for heaven. You don’t get holy brownie points.

But there’s good news, you didn’t get yourself in this mess so you can’t get yourself out. Yep. Jesus. Seeing a pattern yet? When Jesus said He was the only way, He really meant it. Goodness isn’t another way. Jesus is the ONLY way. He’s the only way off of that train. Our goodness still has us buckled into the seats on the train. If you believe your goodness outweighs your sin, or that what God calls sin really isn’t a sin, and you don’t believe you’re doing anything wrong, you’re in a very dangerous place. You’ve been blind-sided by deception. But there’s hope.

So what do we do when we wrestle with the truth of God’s word? When we really don’t like God’s laws? I’ll leave you with this tough truth. I once had a rule in my house that one of my bonus sons didn’t want to adhere to. I basically told him he had two choices, adhere or leave. He said he would follow the rule but made sure he told me what he thought about it. My wife says, “What are we going to do about this?” I said, “Nothing. That’s a win! I don’t need him to like the rule, I just need him to obey it. Out of his obedience, I can reward him and bless him.” See, blessings always flow from obedience. The sins that God has defined as such in the Bible are there for our protection. But the hard truth is, God doesn’t need us to like them, he just needs us to obey them.

It’s much like when I was going to church growing up. There were many, many times that I didn’t want to go. My parents never asked me if I wanted to go. They didn’t care if I wanted to go. They KNEW that if I would just obey, blessings would flow. They knew this, even when I didn’t. And eventually, once I was “grown”, I ended up seeing the benefit of church and began attending on my own. I would’ve never gotten to that place if I hadn’t obeyed them and God.

The qualification? Believe Jesus is who He says He is. Follow Him. Turn away from sin daily. The man on the cross next to Jesus basically asked Jesus to just remember him and maybe let him join. That was about it. No baptism. No special worded prayer. No song with a 14-minute bridge to catch your emotions. Just “Hey Mister, I believe you are who you say you are, can I go too?” And Jesus said yes.

So, does God send good people to hell? Nope. We were already headed there. He gave us a way out. We choose what to do with that. But if we want to be right with God, it starts with recognizing our shortcomings. Without that, we’re still really good people sitting on that train.

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Welcome: An Open Letter to Those Leaving CA & NY

Dear Californians and New Yorkers,

We would like to welcome you to Tennessee, Texas, and Florida. We truly believe in southern hospitality. We’ve operated that way our whole lives. Don’t be surprised when total strangers start waiving at you. Oh, and if someone says, “Bless your heart”, it’s not a good thing, though it sounds like it. And always try the biscuits.

We don’t hold resentment toward you for wanting to better your lives by moving here. We’d all do the same. We want to benefit from your contribution to society. We understand that in 2019 alone, 653,000 people left California. We know that number will probably be even higher in 2021. We understand that Tennessee is #1, Texas #2, and Florida is #3 on Uhaul’s list of one-way trucks entering states.

The purpose of this letter is to remind you why. See, we believe that the liberal and conservative can work together and get along. We believe in “you do you.” We believe in the good of humanity which causes us not to rely on the government. Remember 9/12/2001? There were no republicans in TN, TX, or FL that day. There were no democrats. There were no black and white people. There were no straight or gay people that day. There were only Americans helping Americans get through this trying time. In 2010, TN endured a devastating flood that shocked the nation. That event brought out the best in everyone. People were once again helping out complete strangers with total disregard to identity or background. Church attendance again reached an all-time high. In March 2020, middle TN was hit by strong tornadoes. Immediately, Tennesseans rushed out to help people they had never met. Events like these show us that people, at their core, are good people. We believe the same about you until you give good reason to believe otherwise.

Californians are fleeing by the droves and are all stating the same few reasons, personal taxes, business taxes, government policies, some of which led to shutdowns, and the lack of affordability to the middle-class family. Ask yourself how it got there. Think long and hard about how a vibrant, rich state, got to a place where it was too expensive for a middle-class family to live there. Ask yourself why that hasn’t changed.

What you’ll find are a few consistent principles. Big government leads to either mass exodus or opposition to tyranny. I learned that in history. But you, from California and NY don’t have to look back very far in history to see what relying on the government does. Raising taxes only hurts everyone EXCEPT the government. Making it impossible for a business to profit causes them to go where they can profit. Capitalism works when used correctly. Government doesn’t generate revenue; it only spends it. Of the top 10 states that people are leaving, NY #1, CA #2 and through MA #10, ALL of them are governed by big government policies: big government spending and control. Ask yourself, why would people leave that and come to our states. The answer is for the same reason you did. Big government PROVED to not work.

In our states, we believe that we know what to do with our money better than any government entity. We don’t force conservative or liberal opinions on you, and we don’t want other opinions forced on us. What you believe about a certain subject is perfectly fine. But we’d rather not see legislation stating we must believe the way you believe, nor do we want to see legislation stating you must believe the way we believe. Again, you do you.

So now you’re here, in TN, TX, and FL. And in these states, we believe that the people should retain more of their own money. We believe that people know how to spend it more appropriately than government. TN still has no state income tax… and we’re thriving. How could that be? Because people know what to do with their money to stimulate the economy. We believe in the humanity and goodness of people to give to charity, which we all do. We believe that personal choice is a constitutionally protected right and individual responsibility is vital to a thriving economy. We believe that if you want to wear a mask, that’s up to you. If you want to get a vaccine, that’s up to you. Don’t believe in God or church? Don’t go. Up to you. Don’t like guns? Don’t buy one. You will not be shamed for doing so or not doing so. You will, however, receive resistance if you are pushing us towards or away from any of those. You do you.

But remember that FL has remained open this entire time and has had by far the best overall response to covid in the country, with South Dakota close behind. Florida’s covid numbers are excellent. How did that happen? Protect those that are vulnerable to it, let everyone else go to work. Governor DeSantis refused to make an illness political. He just used common sense.

So, here’s where we have one request, we simply ask one thing, please don’t begin looking to make TN, TX, or FL just like home. We ask that you understand HOW we got to be YOUR destination, then begin to find a way to adapt so that you too can thrive. If we start implementing policies in these 3 states that line up with states you’re leaving, making the government too big, there will be mass exodus or opposition to tyranny here as well. Let’s avoid that if possible. Again, welcome. We’re glad you’re our neighbors. To us it means there are more good people to come together in times of need. In the words of my good friend, Jeff Pence of FL, “Hello Neighbor!” Now, somebody pass the biscuits!

Stay Classy GP,

Grainger 

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Enough is Enough is Enough

After looking at the events at the capitol, you have to ask why. Why are there people this upset? Why did they resort to a peaceful protest on the capitol? Yes, there were a small faction, less than 100, that went to violence. But most were there in disgust of how the election went down. There were obvious activities taking place that caused everyone to question the validity of the election.

For starters, never, in the history of our country has an election just “paused” and then resumed hours later like GA… only to yield thousands of votes that just “appeared” for only one candidate. That’s statistically impossible. This is obvious. Then there’s the truck driver in PA that was carrying blank ballots that were later “counted”.

There are more but let’s stick to the point. The point is that in our nation’s history, when a group of people felt oppressed, they spoke out. If they felt they weren’t heard, they speak louder. Then they turn to protests. Let’s not forget what happened in MN over the summer that sparked many violent acts and some peaceful protests along the way. I have a friend that supports BLM that said he went to Nashville for a peaceful protest and everyone he saw there left at the same time. Only later did the violence occur. Meaning, that an entire group wasn’t responsible for the nonsense of a small faction of that group. So, we can’t hold the entire #MAGA group responsible for what these few idiots did either. And certainly not Trump. He actually spoke against violence of any kind. And his speech never even got in the zip code of meeting the Brandenburg vs Ohio test.

It was once black people. It was once women. It was once LGBT. They spoke out against the oppression and didn’t feel as thought they were heard. So they protested. They stayed angry at the situation. In most cases, it stayed peaceful.

Four people die. Zero businesses destroyed. This is considered a riot

Now insert conservatives/republicans. They’ve been called every name in the book. Been made to feel inferior. Called racist with no evidence or base to the claim. Been told that being white is automatically a sin. Was told that being a male makes you toxic by nature. Written off as conspiracy theorists only to find total validity in such theories, such as Biden’s connection to China or the made-up allegations against Trump (ALL of which were proven false). As I’m writing this, I’m reminded of how many small, locally owned businesses were completely destroyed and it was consistently called “protests” by the media, but around 100 white punks (who deserve to be in prison) storm the capitol and it’s called “riots”. This is obvious. The media isn’t even trying to hide their disgust for all things conservative. Same goes for Hollywood and secondary education. Conservatives are the extreme minority that is tired of not being listened to and sick of being treated so poorly.

At some point, those people stand up and say, and I quote Joe Biden, “enough is enough is enough.” Yes, Mr. Biden, enough is enough. Enough kicking republican voter location workers out without explanation while the democrat workers stay and count alone. Enough mail-in voting that has proven to be an easy device for fraud (absentee is different, they’re requested first and validated by voter ID). Enough writing someone off solely based on their party affiliation.

Twenty-five people die. 1500 businesses destroyed. This is considered a peaceful protest

Have both sides done this? Of course they have. This is why blind tribalism is a total cancer that is eating our country. Democrats have objected to the last three GOP presidents. Democrats said to go ahead and appoint a SCOTUS before election in 2016 and don’t wait. Democrats supported the protests and refuse to condemn the violent looting and destroying of local businesses, citing that sometimes this is the only way to get the attention of the difference makers.

Now all of the sudden the GOP does these exact same things and it’s all of the sudden atrocious. Well the “deplorables” have had enough. They have watched as the so-called leaders of our country trample on the 1st, 5th and 14th amendments and absolutely spit on the separation of powers while basically saying, “What are you going to do about it?”

Did Trump cause this? Partially, yes. Obama? partially yes. These two presidents had an opportunity to unify the country and only did more to divide it. Part of their job is the set the tone for the nation. Trump never accepted that role. He just made brilliant business moves and got the country back on a very good fiscal track while tweeting the dumbest and most antagonizing things ever. No tone set. Obama set the tone that cops are racist and white people should pay. As a result, we see what we see. If you truly believe that one of these presidents did NOT divide our country, you, my friend, are guilty of Tribalism at the worst degree. Anyone paying attention would agree that BOTH of these presidents divided our country, unless you’re blinded by tribalism.

What is the solution? END TRIBALISM. Also, A third and fourth party being treated as equals. It can never happen as long as super-pacs are allowed. But its’ vital. We have to have leaders that speak up against the nonsense of their own parties, to call out the hypocrisy within the party. We have to have leaders that seek to truly bring unity. To support both the LEO’s and black citizens. Not vilify either.

When the sudden exodus to Parler came, you have to ask yourself why a large group of people would do that. Why would they leave the most popular format on the planet for something else? Are THAT many people just “stupid”? Of course not. Then why? Because they are being mistreated. Again, does this go both ways? Of course. Liberals are often mistreated by conservatives as well. Usually for no reason. Making comments like “dumb libtards don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground” by the right or “hope Parler lets you find FreeDumb!” by the left does nothing but further divide. It gets us nowhere.

If you want to be part of the solution, shake off your blind tribalistic allegiance to party and only support other Americans. We all want to get to the same destination. We just have different ideas of how to get there. If conservatives aren’t treated better, if the constitution isn’t treated better, if the 1st, 2nd, 5th, and 14th amendments continue to be under attack, and separation of powers is routinely ignored, a live-action reenactment of the Boston Tea Party will take place. This can be avoided, but unity and understanding must take place. And that can only happen if you seek to understand a person with an opinion other than your own. This goes for Conservatives AND Liberals!

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger