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Tattooed on Your Heart

I’ll never forget the time I was on the road with Blessid Union of souls and we had played the University of Miami. Afterwards, we were invited to a very nice restaurant. So nice, I felt very out of place. I was uncomfortable from the moment I walked in. And it must have been on my face because the guys in the band just sat me between them and started throwing appetizers at me, “Try this… and this!” Before long, I was no longer uncomfortable and was able to just enjoy the time. They went out of their way to make sure I felt like I was one of them.

In my time in the music industry, this was the case with most. Most people in that industry are kind, thoughtful people. When their brothers and sisters are hurting, they run to each other’s need and comfort them in whatever way they can. Such was my experience.

This is NOT the case with the church, unfortunately. The church is the only army that kicks its wounded while they’re down. It’s one of the few groups out there that gloat in how great they are… “in the name of Jesus.” Church people have a tendency to struggle less with major things (or at least hide them better), and therefore view that as a license to attack anyone who does struggle; “I don’t struggle with adultery or porn addiction, so I’m going to drive that home, showing everyone how righteous I am! I will conveniently leave out the sins I struggle with… let’s not talk about those.”

Kat Von D

Such is the case with Kat Von D. The celebrity tattoo artist was immersed in witchcraft and occult culture. She stated that there was a heaviness, a darkness, and a negativity that she no longer wanted to be a part of. She returned to her early roots of Christianity. She chose to publicly get baptized, expressing the belief that baptism is an outward expression of an internal change.

Of course, this brought out the morally superior. She stated that her atheist friends and fans came out with a huge show of support and love about her personal decision. It was not they who attacked her. It was Christians. They claimed she was faking the whole thing as a PR stunt. They accused her of not being a real Christian with all of the tattoos and the clothes she wears… the CLOTHES she wears! Christians came out and attacked her for now being married to an apparent non-Christian. They attacked her for her choice in music. They even came after her because her hands didn’t go completely under water. WHAT?!?

Basically, every narrow-minded, nonsensical statement you could think of shot out of their vitriol-filled mouths. She finally said, “do you only hang out with people that think and look like you? If so, that is a very sad and narrow-minded way to live. I didn’t get baptized to be saved. I was already saved. It’s not about me.” Good for her. Because it’s true. At the end of her response to this vile retort from these “peculiar people”, she said, “I love you anyway. That’s being Christ-like.”

Kat Von D getting baptized and attending church

The audacity of some people to believe that because they don’t live a dark life, they have the right to look down on those that have, is amazing to me. These are the same people that would have bet on never seeing that thief on the cross in heaven. The thief said (paraphrased), “I believe you are who you say you are, please remember me when you get where you’re going.” To which Jesus responded, “Today you will be with me in Paradise.” His hands never went fully under water. In fact, water never touched them. He never signed a membership document. He never learned the sinner’s prayer. It’s like a minister once said, “on what authority did he get into heaven? The man on the middle cross, that’s all the authority he needed!”

For those that believe tattoos are ungodly, you missed the point and, once again, took a scripture out of context. Not that I’m surprised. In Leviticus 19:28, when it says to not put tattoo marks on your body, the passage is specifically referring to false idols. The verse before said not to cut your hair. We going with that too, or just sticking with what you believe to be someone ELSE’S sin? These were things the people of that time and area were doing to worship false idols and gods. God said to stop those things and worship Him. Those were the things they were doing that were in the way of worshipping Him.

It’s not about the visible, it never was. In Numbers 21, the people of Israel had grown weary and frustrated with their circumstances. They spoke out against God. The response was a swarm of snakes. When they were bitten, they would die. The people asked Moses to speak with God on their behalf, asking for forgiveness. God’s response? Build a bronze statue of a snake on a pole (which, coincidentally, is currently used as a symbol for medicine). God told them to build a statue! It’s not about the statue. It’s about the heart. God didn’t remove the snakes. He gave them a way to deal with the problem. When we find ourselves in a predicament that we got ourselves into, God doesn’t just get us out, but rather He gives a way to survive and work through it. He doesn’t just rearrange who you are, He gives you the grace to work through who you are and who He is in you. It’s like the old saying, give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

God didn’t save you out of your mess so that you could belittle those that don’t look like you. He saved you from your mess so that you could love those who don’t look like you. This is how they will know… by the LOVE that you show. Currently the church is more known for what it is against than who it is for. It is time we, as ambassadors for Christ, start giving the world a reason to find what we found and stop being the reason they never will. Thank you, Kat Von D, for showing us the error of our ways, and at the same time, not giving up on us, but showing us love when we didn’t deserve it, just like Jesus does. I hope God’s love is forever tattooed on your heart.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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The Only Shape That Fits

Most of us have enjoyed the beauty of a painting. Artists spend their time crafting what they believe to be a good painting. When they are done, they sign the painting somewhere on the canvas. The creator makes a mark on the painting that only he can make signifying it is his. Our Creator did the same thing. I’ll explain.

I was in the doctor’s office waiting room with my daughter watching a few kids play. One kid concerned me a little. She kept trying to put the square piece in the round hole. Over and over she tried. She finally threw the square piece. Then she picked up the triangle piece and put it in the round hole. Again, didn’t fit. She threw that one too. It seemed no matter which block she picked up, if it wasn’t the round one, it wasn’t going to fit.

Then it hit me. This is exactly what we do in life. We go through life trying to find something that will fill the hole in our inner most beings, but it never seems to fit perfectly. We look up and wonder why we are still miserable.

I recently watched the Johnny Football documentary. He had achieved everything he had ever dreamed of and more. He was a D1 star. He made more money than he knew what to do with. He beat Alabama. Ha. He won the Heisman as a freshman. He was drafted in the first round of the NFL. Then, sitting on his couch in Cleveland, he was miserable. All of that still didn’t equate to fulfillment. He tried taking his own life. The only reason he’s alive is because the gun malfunctioned.

Then there’s the time Deion Sanders attempted to take his own life after winning the super bowl 3 times. Or how about the time Dennis Rodman contemplated taking his own life. He had won championships. But he was miserable.

Robin Williams was a living legend. Kate Spade had more money than I’ll ever see. Anthony Bourdain had his own show traveling the world doing what he loved. It wasn’t enough. There’s a reason.

There’s a hole or void in our souls in a certain shape. It’s the shape of God. We have all tried to put things there that don’t fit. Money, substances, fame, cars, friends, careers, our spouses, our kids. They don’t fit. But we try to make them fit. Then we look around and wonder why we are miserable. We are miserable because we are trying to make a square block fit in to a round hole.

When it comes to the creation, the Creator was clever. He made you almost whole. But he left one piece out. And made sure that it was only in the shape of Him. After all, He did say He made us in His image.

So if you are in a place where you can’t figure out why you are miserable, apathetic, sad, frustrated, lonely, full of anxiety… it may be that you still need to fill that void with the right shape. If you will just give up trying the other things, that don’t seem to be working, and fill your void with the shape of God, you will find that there’s peace and relaxation in this. Try it. What do you have to lose?    

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Still the Greatest Show on Earth

Why is America the greatest country on earth?

In the opening scene of the pilot episode of The Newsroom, a student asks Jeff Daniel’s character that question, His answer, in short, was, “It’s not, but it could be.” In part, I agree. In part, I don’t. Let me explain.

He was referring to certain statistics in his response. Primarily education statistics. He is correct about where the US ranks in education against other developed countries. It’s not good. However, I have stated for some time now that I firmly believe social intelligence far outweighs academic intelligence in the US. When you apply both, you see a few things.

Our country was founded on the idea that there had yet to be a form of government that wasn’t completely tyrannical. The founders saw that it had become so easy to do when the primary governmental leaders, mainly the monarchy, was in close collaboration with the church. There simply was no such thing as a country that did not also have an established religion. To break up that tyranny, they set out to establish a country with no set religion. They also put in place a series of rules for the government that forces the government to be severely restricted. That document is called the US Constitution. It was designed to restrict the government. They also gave a powerful voice to the people so that the rule was not coming from tyrannical leaders sitting in high places, but rather from the people on the ground.

When looking at our nation’s past, you also see slavery. This deplorable, peculiar institution was definitely a stain on an otherwise brilliant endeavor. Many can quote stats on slavery and how bad it was. Here are some things that few quote. The first slave owner in America was a black man. The last slave owner in America was a native American man. The last slave was released on June 14th, 1866, not June 19th, 1865. June 19th represents the last day a white man had a slave but not the last slave that was released. Slavery in other countries lasted at least hundreds of years. In England, it had already been in place for at least 400 years before arriving to what is now called America. American slavery lasted 89 years. So while it is a nasty past, we came a long way and did it quicker than other nations. We have a history of awful wrongdoings, but also fixing those issues and moving forward.  

America is still the primary destination for those seeking a better life than where they are. There is a massive problem on the Mexican border because WE ARE THAT GOOD. We still live by and uphold that every person has the right to PURSUE happiness. They don’t have the right to happiness. They have the right to the pursuit of happiness. We live by the idea that each person can subscribe to the religion of their choice, or no religion at all.

Free speech means no one can demand that certain words come out of your mouth. This applies to both self-incrimination and your pronouns. If I choose to call you by preferred pronouns, I’m being cordial. But that free speech thing protects me from having to call you anything.

That second amendment is just in case they (tyrannical government) try to take the first one away. Learning from history is important. Past history and recent history. Past history will show you that Hitler disarmed Germany “for the good of the people.” We see how that worked out. In recent history, Australia disarmed their people. Then when covid came around, they forced everyone to stay in their houses. The people had no recourse for such tyranny. They were stuck.

This country still gives you the right to live where you want to live, go where you want to go, and do what you want to do, as long as it doesn’t infringe on someone else’s individual rights and freedoms. Check out these financial stats:

  • If you have $61,000 in assets, you are among the richest 10% adults on earth.
  • If you earn $25,000 or more, you are in the top 10% of the world’s income earners.
  • If you earn $50,000 or more, you are in the top 1% of the world’s income earners.   

We have now had our first black president of the US. We have story after story of people fleeing places like Cuba, Venezuela, Columbia, Guatemala, Russia, and the list goes on… with a hope for a better life. And their hard work, gifts, and talents lead them to sufficient success. If this country is so bad, why is the rest of the world trying to get in?

The answer is simple. We are still the greatest country on earth. No, we are not perfect. No one will ever be. And no, a republic hierarchy is not a perfect system. But it is the least bad system ever created in the history of mankind. A republic that gives the little man a voice. A republic that is built to deter tyranny. We are in danger of losing this status. This is point of my book, America’s Greatest Threat: America. But as it stands, Americans live in the greatest country on earth.

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The Content of My Character

The 1960’s were a wild time. Black people in America were still being treated as subhuman. Black children were still being told the most interesting and repulsive thing about them was the color of their skin.

Picture this scenario… A teacher had separated the class by color. Black kids were on one side and white kids were on the other. One child hears her teacher say, “You can’t sit there. That’s reserved for the children that don’t look like you.” She already knows she can’t drink from the same water fountain. She can’t sit at the same lunch table. Now the teacher is making sure she knows that she’s being judged by the color of her skin over her personal qualities that make her unique. And in the great words of Jake Tyler Brigance (Matthew McConaughey), “Now imagine… she’s white.”

I’m fully convinced that if MLK Jr was alive today, he would be repulsed at the idea of segregating people (especially children) by the color of their skin. He would be disgusted at the idea of judging someone’s morality and intent by what color their skin is. My statement is based on his own words.

I truly can’t imagine any non-racist free thinker believing that a person’s skin color is more important than who they are as a person, how they treat others, and their contribution to society and the free market.

I also can’t imagine thinking that the answer to wrongs from one group over 200 years ago towards another is to enact those wrongs towards the descendants of that group. There is no good outcome of this. Not one good thing can possibly happen by enforcing policies on a group of people based on things that happened 200 years ago.

Anytime one group is oppressed, it leads to revolution. The oppressed group will only stand by for so long before they’ve had enough of wrongful oppression. We saw this with women’s suffrage. With the Supreme Court decision in 2015 to federalize gay marriage. The groups had enough and fought until they had equal rights. This applies to any “group”. If you oppress them, they will fight back.

As you can see above, the goal of CRT goes directly against the goal of Martin Luther King Jr. One was helpful. One is not.


We have to implement systems that refuse to oppress anyone and allow for equality of opportunity with the full knowledge that it will NOT lead to quality of outcome. The obvious reason for this is because some will take the opportunity and some will watch it pass by. Individual responsibility is the cornerstone of any great society.

Reading history is 100% free. And learning from it is an opportunity that some will take and some will pass by and be destined to repeat. Marxism as a core beliefs system revealed the effects of one group of people having too much power and thus globally racked up a body count of almost 100 million people. Even the most devout followers saw the error of its ways. Thomas Sowell was one of them. He now sees how that was a terrible idea. We must learn from history.

The Holocaust didn’t happen overnight. It was a series of changes that were made over time like: segregating people into groups, taking guns away from citizens “for their own safety”, propaganda given through media and controlled by the government, supporting groups who shame other groups that they disagree with. Sound familiar?

Not knowing you have an enemy gives the enemy the automatic win. Sitting silent is not an option for those that want to live and thrive in a free country. Understand that, right now, Marxism (that includes CRT and the destruction of the nuclear family) is your enemy. What will you do about it?

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Deconstructing Deconstructionism: Part 2- The Fruit

One day, years ago, one of my leaders in basketball officiating said to me, “You will always know whether your technical foul was a good one or a bad one by what happens directly after.” He was right. If it was a good one, the game regained a sense of order. If it was not a good technical foul, the game went further into chaos. This was the “fruits” of my decisions.

(Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim reacts to having a technical foul called on him by official Roger Ayers during the second half of an NCAA college basketball game against Louisville Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2020, in Louisville, Ky. Louisville won 90-66. (AP Photo/Wade Payne))

One of the many problems with deconstruction is that it focuses on “ME.” The entire Bible spends its time focusing on turning away from ME and towards GOD.

“Your ways are higher.” Isaiah 55:8-9

“to myself, I die daily.” 1 Corinthians 15:31

“Not MY will be done but YOURS.” Luke 22:42

And on and on it goes. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. Taking the scripture seriously is a good thing. Going as deep as you can to get as close to God a possible is a good thing. However, in my examination of deconstructionism, I find that it consists of many people who have been mistreated by those in the church. I also find a pattern of those who truly believe they are of superior intelligence. And yet another definite pattern is a justification to live exactly how they want. Subsequently, you have the blind leading the blind. Having said that, one only has to look at fruits to determine whether this movement is a good thing or not.

The most disturbing pattern I’ve found among those deep into deconstructionism is that they stop going to church. After all, Jesus didn’t go to church. And church is a socially constructed way to control the masses, right? Wrong. Here’s what I know about church (for more on this, see the series I did on church, part 1 HERE and part 2 HERE). The man on the cross next to Jesus had never been to church. Yet he went to heaven. So church doesn’t save you. However, I also know that mountains of research studies show that community is necessary to remain socially relevant, prevent from going insane, preventing isolation, and helping provide the sustenance needed to survive this lifetime. Those studies show that isolation is what always precedes suicide. That community is what cures depression and prevents it from coming back. That service is the other component that fights depression and anxiety. All of this is found in a church.

The best form of community available in America is the church. Because it is based on an eternal foundation. The people there love you because you are human and no other qualification is needed. And without community, your proclivity for depression, anxiety, and suicide go way up. There are tons of studies on this.

So what are the fruits? Ceasing to attend the church you once loved attending and questioning God’s existence. Yet another deception by the enemy. In order to steal, kill, and destroy, he must get you isolated. Deconstructionism is the newest way for the enemy to do that.  If the enemy can get you to stop going to church, you give up community and thereby become isolated. In isolation the enemy can begin to tell you lies that you will believe. And many are currently falling for it.

Remember what Matthew 7:15-20 says, 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.”

I hope I deconstructed that well enough. I mean, I ain’t that smart!

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Deconstructing Deconstructionism: Part 1- The Argument

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages… I’d like to introduce you to the newest craze. It’s the newest trend. Deconstructionism! It used to be atheism. Then it was agnosticism. Now it’s deconstructionism.

The superiorly intelligent have found new and creative ways to justify their positions on their carnal desires while realizing that they sound stupid for believing in nothing. That’s where atheism went wrong. You have to be relying fully on the faith in nothing or be blindingly stupid to believe there is no higher being at all.

Then agnosticism came. So there’s a higher being somewhere. Maybe it’s us. Maybe its nature. Maybe it’s the 90% of our brain that we don’t use. But we didn’t just get here from nothing with all of our complications and intricacies. So there’s something. We just can’t put our finger on what that is.

So we believe this God thing is probably for real. Our parents told us so. But I don’t want to just believe what my parents said. I need to find out for myself. So far, this sounds like a responsible endeavor. Because my faith cannot be my parents’ faith. It must belong to me, or I have no faith at all.

Let’s take a quick detour. I am a big fan of basketball. And I would like to dismantle basketball and its rules to justify my inability to be able to compete with those in the NBA. So I’d like to change the rules so that I can experience the possibility of a great outcome, like a championship. So the rules are subjective now. I want them to mean that you can’t touch me or get within 5 feet of me once I say I’m uncomfortable. Then I’ll be able to score and achieve greatness and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

This, ladies and gentleman, is the beautiful deceptive art of deconstructionism. Let’s take every scripture and “deconstruct” it to its simplest form. Then when we put it back together, let’s make it mean what we want to because it makes more sense to us in our super intelligent, creative, and emotional brains. After all, so much of what is in the Bible doesn’t make sense. And rather than attempt to understand it in its context and see what God was trying to say, I’d rather just make it mean what I’M trying to say. I mean, it’s been translated so many times, who knows what it really says. It’s all subjective.

What is an example of this? There are many. I’ll give you a couple. Deconstructionism will tell you that 1 Timothy 2:12 is a misunderstood verse. They will posit that there should be more female pastors in America. Another one is that there are many variations of translations of the Bible and one can’t trust the whole book to be true at its core, but must be dissected… by them! Interesting. It’s not enough that it has been dissected before they were born. Nope. They are smarter than those before them.

So let’s tackle those along with an examination of the fruits of deconstructionism. In 1 Timothy 2:12 is says, 12 “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” Yes, it has been mistranslated by some to mean that a woman cannot speak in church at all at any time. That is false. With a closer look, one would see that “quiet” is directed back to the issue of authority. There are plenty of verses that suggest that women are to help others. There are plenty of verses that show women teaching and helping many, men and women alike. However, when it comes to the authority of the assembly, church, that office is designed for men. That was God’s designation.

Also, don’t forget 1 Timothy 3:2, 2 “Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.” Some versions say one wife. But “His wife” implies one person. This will be very hard for a woman to accomplish. Yet it is one of the qualifications for being an elder or a pastor.

The Temple Scroll, from the Dead Sea Scrolls found at Qumran (Photo by VCG Wilson/Corbis via Getty Images).

Well what about the Bible being translated too many times? I’m glad you asked. The first original scrolls were found to have been scribed around 895 A.D. Around 1000 A.D. there were more scrolls found. And in 1948, a boy was chasing after a goat who ran into a cave and found another set of original scrolls that were found to have been scribed around 200 B.C.! Interestingly, the three scrolls were compared, and they were found to be completely and unequivocally identical. There were zero differences. They were also found to be identical to the first translation of the Bible into English. There were so many requirements the scribes had to meet and were so were meticulous. Things like, each line had to be exactly thirty letters, and there had to be an exact amount of lines in a column. Also, if a scribe got to the end of the Torah (the first 5 books of the Bible) and it did not end in an exact line of thirty letters, they did not follow the demands and had to throw it away and start over. This is how the scrolls from 200 B.C. MATCHED the 1000 A.D. scrolls (check that out here, how we got the OLD and NEW testaments). But you already knew that. You’re smarter than everyone you know, remember?

That’s a very brief overview of deconstructionism, from what I’ve gathered so far. Next we will talk about the fruits that it yields… go to Deconstructing Deconstructionism: Part 2- The Fruit.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Is Mrs. Doubtfire Under Fire?

Nope. The recent bill signed into law raises quite a few questions. All of the sudden, the same people that wanted to force you to put experimental drugs in your system are now saying the new TN law is a violation of free speech. I thought it was “my body, my choice”? This same group is saying this is an attack on the LGBT community. They’re saying if it isn’t bothering anyone, why do we care what they do. Some are saying it’s a violation of the constitution. So let’s break it down.

First, no one is being forced to change anything about their dress or speech. So that’s out. No one is monitoring or changing anything about sexual orientation. So that’s out. And the constitution provides a representative democracy where we vote leaders in that represent us and make laws to be voted on by the general assembly. So this new law abides perfectly within the US and TN constitution. So that’s out. What is it that is causing controversy?

Well, for one, the law makes it illegal to perform a drag show in public where children under the age of 18 can be present. It specifically lists the word “obscene.” This would imply things like stripping, sexual actions of a dancer, and lack of clothing. So the drag bus in downtown Nashville, as long as it continues to operate outside of those actions mentioned, will be able to continue its business as normal. Venues like Play will be operating as normal because you must be at least 18 to enter. So the law does not apply to them.

The purpose of the law is to prevent children from being exposed to obscene shows that are sexual in nature. The newest trend is performing strip shows in libraries for children. That can no longer be an option in Tennessee. When asked about this clarification, sponsors of the bill as well as Governor Lee said just that. This is not aimed at what is currently taking place. It is aimed at what could take place and has taken place in other states. This is entertainment that is sexual in nature. There is literally a psychological term for it, Autogynephilia, or AGP. This is the arousal of a man when he considers or sees himself as a woman. It has recently come out that Lia Thomas, the trans swimmer, has this. Which makes his actions to become a female swimmer all the more malevolent.

This new law boils down to one thing, children are under attack by those who wish to indoctrinate children with their adult political views and agendas at any cost. Protecting children should always be a priority in society. They can’t even be admitted into a rated R movie theater. If that’s the standard, then this is no different. There’s a reason that they’re not considered adults until age 18. They can’t make decisions for themselves fully. They are confused about many things. So throwing very complex, sexual behaviors at children only confuses them more. They don’t even consider things of sexual nature until they’ve reached puberty. Research shows that 90% of kids who are confused about their sexual orientation in their early teens reach an understanding of this by age 18 or 19. The research also shows that 80% of them are gay or lesbian. Which begs the question of why are people trying to push 15-year-olds into mutilating their reproductive organs? Doing so is damaging 80% of the gay population. Every 15-year-old I’ve ever known is confused about life in general and everything that comes along with it.

I agree, if it’s not bothering anyone, why do we care what they do? Good point. It’s not bothering anyone… until you parade it in front of children. And these issues, transgender surgery for early teens and drag shows in front of children, go together. It is driven by the same evil backbone.

Again, I hope that the statements are upheld that the law is not intended to apply to current activities but to what could take place. I say that because in order to make public drag shows illegal, they had to classify it in the same area as strip clubs, or cabaret. But most of us feel the same way…have your fun, just don’t put it front of children. And if you are angry about that, then you should have a much longer conversation the next time you see your therapist. 

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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The Journey

It’s something that I still have a hard time with. I see the goal. I see the outcome. I see that I missed the goal, not once, not twice, but three times. But I have to be reminded of the journey.

I’m watching TV one night and I see this guitar player jamming away. I wanted to write songs. I’d seen my dad write songs. I begin to write. I write one of my first songs about a celebration of one of my friends from school beating cancer. I was insanely nervous singing that song in front of my youth group. That was the first and last time I was nervous singing. Made some good friends through that. I’m walking around singing one day and a friend of mine hears me. She says, “you should think about doing that for a living.” A few years later as I’m finishing high school, I begin pursuing a career in music.

I began going to writers’ nights. Met many great writers. I had cuts, mostly by new bands or artists that never made it. Made some lifelong friends during that phase. There are a handful of people I still talk to from that phase of life. People that if I called today, they’d help me with whatever I needed. At the end of the day, I did have three cuts that made some noise, one of which was an all-star cast of artists. It went to #75 on billboard. On that song, “Dare the World”, I was a writer, producer, played acoustic, sang background, and sang one lead line (because I forgot to get that line from anyone else).

Me and Eddie Dunbar

I then moved into being an artist. It started with sitting in with a band led by Eddie Dunbar. That led to 6 different production deals. With each step, I made friends with the producers themselves, the players on the sessions, and writers that helped contribute. I spent a great deal of time in studios. I made friends with engineers at these studios. Made lifelong friends. Still talk to many these days. Some of the more notable producers were Jay DeMarcus from Rascal Flatts, Rob Galbraith (Ronnie Milsap’s producer), Shelby Kennedy of the famous Kennedy family (with credits like Garth Brooks, Reba), among others.

During this time I played the bar scene in Nashville. I spent most of my time at a bar called the Fiddle and Steel Guitar bar. Here I met many cool people, met a couple of heroes, and made lifelong friendships that stand strong today. I got to hang with Michael English, Toby Keith, Eric Church, Gary, Jay, and Joe Don from Rascal Flatts, and a host of others. I met my future wife there. I became close with the pickers that played with various artists. That period of time was a blast.

Fiddle and Steel

After 5 production deals came to an end, I took one last shot. I formed a band of a bunch of great players. Started with players that are world-renowned. Two of them chose to move in a different direction in their career. I ended up with a group of amazing musicians that seem to gel together nicely. We began playing out, writing, and pitching our sound to various labels. We then went into the studio with Rob Galbraith and Regie Hamm to record some amazing music. Warner Brothers was on board. They loved what we were doing. We were about to be signed when they had a meeting and decided that were simply were not country enough for where the industry was headed. And like that, 15 years of pursuit came to screeching halt. I looked around and realized no one was looking for the next big 36-year-old. It’s a young man’s game.

The next two years felt like one long funeral. It felt as though someone close to me had died. I was attempting to come to the realization and understanding that the idea of me touring with a record was out the door. But it still felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut. It felt like I had been chewed up and spit out of the industry. This contributed to my divorce.  

Dink Cook

That leads me to the journey. Looking back on that, it was the journey all along that was the part I remember the most. It was those I made lifelong friendships with that stood out. It was the process, not the culmination. It was the journey, not the destination. To this day, I’m still close to Eddie Dunbar.   

As this was wrapping up, I began officiating basketball. I quickly moved from refereeing middle school to high school, to college, to minor league professional. As I began, I wasn’t sure if I was any good. As I began getting hired by college conferences, I felt that I may have something. I spent thousands of dollars each summer on training to get better and better. I moved up the ranks until I was given a verbal queue that I would be on a division 1 staff. That person was fired from that D1 position before he could see that through. I continued to push forward but fairly quickly saw the writing on the wall. And the writing was familiar. It was a young man’s game. I made it up to D2 and everything below. There I settled in. I failed again. But there was still high school.

I came to my 16th season of refereeing high school ball and was selected to the state tournament championships. There were only 14 refs selected, so it was definitely an honor. Of those 14, there was only one there that had been in the TSSAA longer than me. At the end of the week, 12 were selected to work a championship game. I had a very good week. But I was aware that the leader of the state simply did not like me. All I could do is do everything he asked of me to the best of my ability. And that’s what I did. It wasn’t enough. When asked what I could do better, I did not receive an answer that I could do anything about. He just didn’t like me. Once again, 16 years and I feel like I’ve been chewed up and spit out of a profession for nothing that I could control. I spent the next two weeks trying to find the energy to get out of bed. I’ve now failed majorly three times!

Mason Smith & Justin Dorris

This leads me to the journey. The refs that I’ve met through the years are now lifelong friends. I’ve had many times where they came to my rescue, and I’ve come to theirs. At any moment, if I’m near their town and I need anything at all, they’ll be there. I have no doubt.

If the why is people, I’ve been blessed beyond measure. It doesn’t make the ending any easier. It’s still painful. It still makes you wonder. But it was never about the destination anyway. It was about the journey. Thank God for the friends. Thank God for the fun stories. Thank God for the journey. If you take anything away from this story, the destination takes care of itself. So don’t ever lose sight of the journey.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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It Starts With Us

Church… we have done a terrible job.

In light of the events at Covenant school, the haves and have nots put on their gloves and begin to duke it out. Of course, and predictably, one side says it’s a trans issue. The other side says it’s a gun issue. No one can believe it can be both or neither. It has to be one of these because “my team” says so.

We could break down the issue that the killer had a map and a manifesto. So whether it was a gun, a bomb, a knife, a car, someone was going to get hurt or possibly die regardless of the weapon. The killer had it in her mind that this was going to happen. The weapon was the vehicle. But let’s not let a moment go by to push an agenda to make sure we get reelected. It is worth noting that the killer passed a preferred first location because there was armed security and knew she wouldn’t be able to carry out what she wanted. She picked a place with no guns, much like the Colorado movie theater shooter.  

TOPSHOT – Robin Wolfenden prays at a makeshift memorial for victims outside the Covenant School building at the Covenant Presbyterian Church following a shooting, in Nashville, Tennessee, on March 28, 2023. – A heavily armed former student killed three young children and three staff in what appeared to be a carefully planned attack at a private elementary school in Nashville on March 27, before being shot dead by police. Chief of Police John Drake named the suspect as Audrey Hale, 28, who the officer later said identified as transgender. (Photo by Brendan SMIALOWSKI / AFP) (Photo by BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP via Getty Images)

We could make some irrational attempt to tie this to recent legislature in Tennessee. The legislation passed prohibits obscene performances from targeting children. The governor and lawmakers who wrote and sponsored the bill are on record saying it is not to address what is currently happening in Tennessee. It is designed to address what is happening in other parts of the country and making sure it doesn’t happen here. So no, it’s not a crime to be trans or a drag queen. Please continue to have the exact same fun you were having before. But if you target children in any way, you will be arrested. And rightfully so. Children often have to be saved from their parents. If you don’t believe me, go visit a foster home. And for those who say, “I can take my child wherever I want”, human traffickers are hoping you mean it.

We could make a point to call out those that claim there are 72 genders and normalize mental instability. We could point out that the chief of police stated that this person identified as transgender. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR) defines gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months. But then immediately after that the chief stated there was no history of mental illness. But he just said she suffered from a recognized mental illness… yet has no history of mental illness. That is a huge problem. Normalizing mental illness and being afraid to call it what it is. We cannot fix a problem until we recognize that it is a problem. The DSM-5-TR said it was a problem, why can’t we?

But here’s the real problem, those issues are not the core issue to this event. While I don’t truly know the motivations of the killer at the Covenant school, the fact that she was a former student there and came back to do what she did, tells me something important, THE CHURCH FAILED HER. There seems to be a perceived battle between Christians and transgender persons. That’s the problem, though, there is no battle. Or at least there shouldn’t be. Christians should not be in a battle or at war with people who identify as transgender. We should be available for them when they are in need.

If you saw this story and first thought anything other than sorrow for the victims and the killer, then you are part of the problem. For decades, and maybe forever, the church has been a social elite club where we ignore the problems in our own lives and spend all of our time pointing out the problems that we don’t struggle with. Hey, most of the church doesn’t (openly) struggle with gender dysphoria. So let’s attack it! Let’s put our energy in telling you what YOU need to do differently because there’s something wrong with YOU. Never mind our problems. That’s not important right now. What we need to do is illuminate your problems so no one knows we’re a wreck behind closed doors.

If the church wants to do something (besides “thoughts and prayers”), how about we start by not ostracizing those with mental disabilities. How about we love them right where they are. And point to the One who knows how to make their life less confusing and more peaceful. How about we stop attacking, do more loving, and being a kind face with kind words to a confused person. One thing I’ve learned about God is that he is never confused. He is always clear. So if you ever feel confused about something, that is 100% from the enemy. Never from God. For too long, the church has become known for what it is against rather than who it is for. This must change.  

So, for those that struggle with what the Bible calls sin (which is all of us) and those that are confused about how you were made, allow me to apologize on behalf of the church. Please hear our apology and know that we serve a forgiving God, a restorative God who sees us where are, saves us where we are, but loves us too much to leave us where we are.

For every so-called church goer that ridiculed you and made you feel like God loved you less; for every sermon you heard that made you feel like you don’t belong anywhere near God or a church; for every church going person that told you that you are not welcomed around them; for every time you were yelled at from a car and then noticed the fish on their bumper… for that, WE’RE SORRY.

The only real solution that will last is to stop normalizing sin and illness for fear of hurting one’s feelings and open our arms and embrace them where they are. Don’t ask them to change. Don’t ask them to be different. Accept them where they are and let God do the rest. My guess is this girl felt severely hurt by the church and never really loved by anyone that claims to love everyone. It must start with the believers.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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Comparison

Don’t compare, enjoy nature, don’t break trust. Sounds simple. It’s not.

Finland was ranked the happiest country in the world for the 5th year straight. One psychologist from Finland helped explain why she believed this was so. It was based on those three principles: don’t compare, enjoy nature, don’t break trust.

Comparison is the thief of joy. I believe that quote was attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and Dr Ray Cummings. Comparison does a few things. Primarily, it distracts you from who you are and who God made you to be. Believing that you must be something you’re not is the equivalent to believing that God made a mistake. He didn’t. Comparing yourself to someone else distracts you from what’s true and robs you of experiencing any joy about that truth.

The other problem with comparing is that we’re usually comparing the knowledge of our best and worst to only their best. No one puts up their worst on social media. No one shows you what they look like when they first wake up and comments about how bad their breath is. You only get a “perfect” version of the totality of who that person is. That’s a false representation of reality. If you knew as much about the person that you’re envious of as you do yourself, you wouldn’t be so envious of them.

One last reality about comparison is comparing how great you are compared to others. This is equally troubling, maybe more so. You have gained success and you make sure everyone knows it. You flaunt the bling out loud. The problem is, when you no longer have that success, or you realize it doesn’t provide eternal joy, the smile goes away. One way to achieve true happiness is to be humble in your fortune/blessing.

Enjoying nature is simple. It’s usually quiet. It’s amazing to look at something and think a creator put it all together. The same creator that made nature made you. It’s humbling. Sometimes it’s breathtaking. Enjoying nature helps you put things in perspective.

Trust is something that is given until broken. The longer it isn’t broken, the more is given. My favorite definition of integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching and no one will find out. Be the person that is so trustworthy that everyone knows they can depend on you. Be the reason people smile. Keep your word. If you find money, do the right thing. And know that one day you will be wishing someone else does the same for you.

The more we find these things in our society, the happier we become. In America, it’s worth stating the obvious 4th thing to do to be happy, limit your social media intake. It’s designed to stoke the fire of whatever angers you. It’s designed to give you only one perspective, yours. You learn nothing that way. Get off of it and look around. People are way nicer in person than on social media.   

Stay Classy GP!

J Grainger