There were a lot of words we simply weren’t allowed to say when I was a kid. You know the ones… chances are they are the same ones you weren’t allowed to say. Over time they eased up on certain words- crap, dang it, the usual “replacement” words. One word we were always allowed to say but never wanted to was “Obey”. Let’s face it, it’s just not fun. It’s not cool. It’s definitely not sexy.
But only as I got older did I see a pattern connected to obedience. Every. Single. Time… it was followed by a blessing. There was never a moment this didn’t occur. Sometimes you had to look for the blessing. It wasn’t always something huge or significant. But there was always something that could easily be viewed as a blessing on the other side of obedience.
Such was the case recently at home. I have a couple of young men in my home and one tested this with great force. He was met with greater force. I’m certainly not one to back down from confrontation. The short version of the story goes like this: When I married my wife, I put a few rules in place for the children that were designed to teach and protect. Sometimes, as we all know, kids need to be protected from themselves. Their maturity, and sometimes lack thereof, isn’t always able to withstand the things they are faced with. One particular rule was forgotten and subsequently broken. Here comes the “force” part- to which I had to issue an apology for later. Once we were composed, I reminded him of the rule that he forgot. He replied that he hated the stupid rule but that he would follow it. My wife’s statement to me at the time was, “what do you think about that?!” My reply was, “I think it’s great!” My immediate impression was that it was great that he would follow it, regardless if he liked or not because it reminded me of someone. Someone I knew very well. No, not me.
Not once, not twice, (yes, I love Lionel Richie too) but THREE TIMES Jesus told God he didn’t want to go through with the execution. He asked His Father… in today’s vernacular, “If you have a different plan, let’s do that! I have a couple of ideas… you want to hear them? No? umm… ok. Whatever you want.” Jesus simply DID NOT like his Dad’s idea. God didn’t ask Him to like it though. He just asked Him to obey it. There’s that awful word again. As we now know, Jesus went ahead and obeyed. The rest changed history, our calendar and our lives.
Following my instruction to obey the rule and following his disapproval, I checked in with him to see how things were going. He stated to me that the coolest thing happened. He was asked to do some labor work for a relative in exchange for money. He showed up, fulfilled his commitment to do the work asked. But when he showed up, the relative said that he no longer needed him. The cool part was that he paid him anyway. He said “it’s not a big thing, but it’s pretty cool.” I told him that it actually is a big thing because this means God is still batting 1000. A blessing followed obedience.
The key here is that Father knows best. He protects us from ourselves. He asks us for obedience. What happens often is we find ourselves not wanting to, so we simply don’t. Thinking that it’s either all or none. Either I like it and do it or I don’t like it and don’t do it. God is perfectly fine with you not liking it… as long as you obey it. We, as parents, also have to be that way. We have to be ok with them not liking our rules and demands. They are individuals. They have their own desires. All of this is ok as long as they still obey. Eventually, their desires become much more aligned with your desires and also God’s desires. This takes time, repetition, and consistency. But in time, the “have to” leads to “get to” and it all starts with obedience.
One example of this is when we first decide to give our lives to God. We don’t really know what to do. So someone says, read this and show up here and we’ll talk about it. It’s pretty uncomfortable. You don’t really know that many people, if anyone. Eventually, doing what you are instructed becomes something you do on your own because you now have a relationship. Your “have to” became a “get to”.
Another example of this is before Jennifer and I were married, she made a decision to change churches. She felt strongly that God was leading her out of one and to another. Her children didn’t like this at all. They went kicking and screaming… but they went. Eventually they were craving Sundays… at this new church. The “have to” became “get to”… oh and they were blessed because of it. Big G still hitting home runs.
This is tough for both kids and adults. Wives, God has given you specific guidelines of obedience regarding your husbands. Husbands, God has given you specific guidelines regarding your wives. Parents, we’ve been given instruction that requires obedience regarding our children. And not that much of it is fun. But it’s necessary to stay in God’s order.
I get it. It’s no fun. But try it and then look to see what God does. We do have to be careful though. We don’t want to get in to a position where we are doing something for our Creator in order to get something in return. At the same time, He does always reward obedience. If you throw a ball in the air, it’s going to come down. If you obey God, you WILL be blessed.
Stay Classy GP!
Grainger
Yes, I’m aware Jesus didn’t die in the spring. I’m aware this was originally a pagan holiday celebrating the god of fertility (hence the bunnies). At some point, the Christian church began celebrating the resurrection on this day. I’m not sure exactly when and it’s irrelevant for the sake of this article. What’s important is what happened, and more importantly, the legitimacy of it.
But what happens next is where Jesus becomes separate from all other gods and religions. Every other “god” is still in their grave. You can dig them up today. He still holds the record for greatest disappearing act of all time. His dad is still the author of the #1 best-selling book of ALL TIME! This was made possible by the adversaries that sought to extinguish a fire- yet they only drenched it in fuel. So this Easter, remember: Because His death is authentic, His Resurrection is Revolutionary.
I can remember growing up, I played a lot of sports. No matter which sports I played, there were a few constants. I wanted to win. My coach liked to yell. If I was disrespectful to anyone, I was quickly dealt with. Win or lose, I got my juice box and relaxed on the ride home. But I never remember the refs. In fact, we were always told not to say a word to the refs… that this was coach’s job, not ours. So we never got involved in the ref bashing. As I got older, that changed. My smart mouth got me in so much trouble, that I literally once called out a defense “Twelve!”, which was our 2-1-2 and was given a T. The ref said “I heard what you said!” I said “yes, my teammates heard it too… I called the defense.” He looked at the coach and said “if you don’t take him out, I’m going to throw him out!” The fact was… I had a reputation… and not a good one. I remember a lot of fun things, bad things, tough things from those days in sports. But one thing I can never remember doing back then was… well… I don’t ever remember thanking the refs. Ever. For anything.
There I am, when they play Elvis clips on TV, one after another. I’m glued to the screen. I can’t move. Captivated by this guy. The most interesting part is…I’m 2 years old! So how does this music have this much of an impact on me?
We’ve all lost someone to suicide. We remember the initial feelings of shock and doubt. I’ve written an entire blog dedicated to this subject alone, so I won’t rehash it all. But the key to this problem is isolation. If the enemy can get us isolated, he can convince us of the lies that we’re not needed anymore. But the newest crisis is just that, a crisis. Ministers committing suicide. The latest victim was this week, Pastor Jim Howard of Real Life Church took his own life. While I have no idea what his life was like, the first thing I thought was all the “church faces” we put on when we walk in. I thought about all the facades that we continue to project so that we’re not embarrassed by our reality. Former pastor 
We’ve all lost someone to cancer. We know who they were before they found out. We know who they were after. We know what it was like watching them suffer. We know how strong they were through the entire process. Most of us also remember the feeling of how unfair this was to take someone like them. Inevitably, it’s accomplished one of two responses to faith. Either a stronger belief in the Creator, knowing that He is still in control and will make someone better because of this…OR someone who questions or even loses faith in anything that would “let this happen”. This week the music industry lost a legend. One of the greatest voices off all time, James Ingram, to cancer. I’ve lost quite a few friends to this. But one friend was quoted as saying, “why not me? If it causes people to come together in love and be closer to God, then why not me!?” That may be the most selfless thing I’ve ever heard someone say. Basically, he’ll die so we can be closer to God. Well, it worked. A large church filled up quickly to celebrate his life and before you knew it, men and women of all ages, races and cultural backgrounds were worshiping One God, with One Voice. It was amazing. For me, it changed the way I viewed friendships. He and I had grown close. Just being friends with him taught me how to be a better friend. So while I’ll never understand why God decided to welcome this incredible human being to heaven instead of someone like me, what I will understand is the unmatched power that God displays in times like these. But I’ll still simply never understand pure hate.
There was a report that Jussie Smollett was allegedly brutally attacked for no other reason than his skin color and his choice in lifestyle. Again, I don’t know him, but no one deserves that. While we now know that this was a completely fabricated story, it’s still happening in our country. You may say, “but we all have rights and they infringed on his rights…they should pay!” And you would be correct. But someone’s rights doesn’t stop them from an attack. The attackers’ lack of virtue makes it possible. We can put as many laws in place that we want, and some are useful. But until we begin to change hearts, we will stay on this decline. That means when someone worships a different God than you, when someone chooses a different sexual lifestyle than you do, when someone gets piercings and tattoos where you never would, that you LOVE them right where they are. You simply refuse to hate. You refuse to neglect. You refuse to make them feel bad for choices they made simply because you wouldn’t have made the same choices. That doesn’t make your choices right or better. It just makes them different. And even if someone is making bad choices, no one ever changed their mind as a result of fear, anger and judgment. Every person I know that changed their minds on bad choices, changed because someone loved them anyway. Every. Single. Time.
The recent story of the catholic school boys and the Native American is a perfect example. The first story that hits is that the boys are taunting and antagonizing the Indian gentleman, Nathan Stanard-also known as Phillips (I choose to call him by the name he used to enlist in to the military). Everyone on the elephant team says, “he did nothing wrong!” Everyone on the donkey team says “punch the smirk off his face!” One story, from one camera and one very unreliable news source comes out. No one knows the facts yet, but their team is under attack. Then the facts come out. Turns out, Mr. Stanard was first attempting to get between the Black Hebrew Israelites and the boys. He then began walking towards the kids and began beating the drum in the face of one of the boys. When that particular boy wouldn’t move out of the way of Mr. Stanard, the incident took form. We now know that there were no ill words spoken by any of the boys. None spoken by Mr. Stanard either. Only the foul language and hate-filled words by the BHI, who appeared nowhere in the first version of the story. We also now know that Mr. Stanard was NOT a Vietnam War veteran as was originally claimed. So now with all the facts, we should be able to properly assess what went right and what went wrong. But there’s two huge problems.
As you go about your day, think about all the things that upset you; the things that cause your whole day to be off. Now look at how much of it you have control over. If you have no control over something, stop worrying about it…TODAY! Traffic. You’re stuck. You can’t do anything about it. Find a way to enjoy it. Notice all the people around you while in traffic. Check out the cool cars. Turn the music up. But freaking out about the traffic…brace yourself… won’t change the traffic. The decisions of a boss/parent/teacher/referee. You can yell and get angry, but it’s still not changing the decision. So find a way to stop giving one extra thought to something you can’t control. And get to a place where you master what you can control.
God didn’t create us to be passive. He didn’t create us to be the fools on sitcoms. He created us to be strong, masculine, men who know when to say sorry, stop, enough, yes ma’am and thank you. We were created to know when to stand up to improper conduct and be the leader in the moment. To be the one that women and children lean on in times of fear and worry. Please eliminate the notion that we must raise boys to be weak, passive, spineless kids that grow up to be the subject of prime-time comedy shows. But there’s a balance. To whom much is given, much is required. It’s strong to stand up to mean people. But it’s also strong to stop and pray. It’s strong to treat your wife like a queen. It’s strong to say I’m sorry. The weakest thing you can do is pick on someone that can’t defend themselves. If you feel the need to pick on someone that can’t defend themselves, I beg you to please come pick on me instead.
No, I didn’t need someone to sit me down and teach me that I shouldn’t rape or bully. But I also had a father that was a good example of everyday living. All boys aren’t that fortunate. Men must step in and be role models when you see there’s a need there. And women must let men be men and hold them accountable when they act like boys. Then, and only then, we will be…..
Today’s culture seems to consistently say “it’s not your fault. The blame belongs to someone else.” When something happens to us, our response to it is based primarily on our history with the person or event. So we respond based on what we know and how we were taught. We have a small, but loud group of people in American culture that believe it is their duty to stand up for others who never asked for their help.
When you’re the victim, everyone else is to blame for every problem, even if it’s your fault. It justifies irresponsibility and makes you co-dependent on others to repair your victimization. Living with a Victorious mentality is when you realize it’s possible that something is your fault, owning it and not needing anyone to get you out of the mess you find yourself in, regardless if it’s your fault or not. YOU (or God in you) can get you out. Now you’re victorious over your circumstance. The sooner we shift our minds (be transformed by the renewing of our minds) from victim to victorious- even (and especially) in the face of adversity, the better our quality of life becomes. This applies to every area of life. I’ve somewhat struggled with this in the past, myself. But not anymore. Get there…I dare you.