Whether we realize it or not, we are in the middle of a generational war. In the late 60’s, the parents thought the world was caving in… coming to an end. The protests, the riots, the blatant disrespect for authority. Those parents were from the greatest generation of all time. They grew up in an era when technology and music were advancing at a rapid rate. We were at war and the “Jitterbug” and “Swing dancing” were springing up everywhere. So when the kids of the 60’s were singing about making love and not war, the previous generation just didn’t grasp it. War was a part of everyday life to them. But the youth of the day were tired of it. This dilemma is nothing new. But it still needs to be addressed.
A great portion of today’s youth have been told they are special for doing nothing at all. They were given trophies for losing. They would fail miserably at a task, sport, or competition and receive priceless accolades. Quickly they would not be subject to competitions at all. No one wins. Everyone participates and receives an award regardless of the level of performance. They have learned that work ethic is for “old people”. They weren’t really into work. Maybe they show up, maybe they don’t. They only chase things that “speak to them” or give them a greater internal purpose. They have developed a need for instant gratification. Technology has shown them that they don’t have to wait for anything. As a result, the things that actually take time, like love and relationships, suffer because if it doesn’t happen quickly, well then it must not be meant to be. As a result, kids are waiting later and later to marry and instead choosing to live together for longer periods of time to reduce the level of commitment. Most of them view older people as slow, in the way, refusing to adapt, not very smart, can’t relate to today’s kids. As a result, they’re incapable and simply refuse to benefit from anything an older person has to offer.
I’ve personally seen this a lot towards me. I’m only 43 but I’m in settings where there are much younger adults involved both in music and officiating sports. I’m often viewed as “the old guy” that has lost his touch and can’t provide any real insight to anything related to youth today. I’m viewed on stage as “in the way”, can’t play “today’s music”. Anyone that knows me knows that is the furthest from the truth. I can still play/sing, I can run up and down a court with the young guys but it takes someone who holds the key to their future to point it out. “You may want to listen to that guy. He’s been there-done that.” Only then do they listen. And when they do, they find that I’m not completely useless…haha.
The older generation of adults are no better. They’ve completely written off the younger generation as worthless. They refuse to even attempt to learn today’s vernacular, today’s technology, and today’s trends. They call all young people “millennials” and that immediately is a derogatory term. They refuse to open their minds. They refuse to see the good in youth. They also sometimes struggle to get beyond their jaded bitterness towards the life they ended up with and didn’t sign up for. As a result, they can’t stop griping long enough to enjoy what’s around them… youth! They view them as incapable of change even though most youthful people are evolving and changing every day. They have less patience for mistakes even though it’s a part of everyday life. They confuse inexperience with stupidity.
There simply has to be a TRUCE! A truce called by both sides. Young people, there is so much to learn from someone who has done “Life” longer than you have. Some things you can only learn through experience, something they have and you don’t. There is so much to gain from people older than you. Slow down and pay attention to what they’re saying. They have been there. You lost a job? They lost several. You lost a child? They have too. Divorce? Been there. Drug abuse? They can walk you right through it. There’s a saying that kids don’t come with instruction manuals. But I beg to differ. The manual is called “experienced adults.” If you’ll tap into that manual, your guide to raising children will never let you down.
The older generation has to hold up the white flag as well. Young people are our future and, quite frankly, our today. Young people are trying. They are making mistakes but they’re supposed to. They’re using what they’ve seen work and not work and improving everything around them…even church. They’re more focused on changing the world for the better than maybe any generation in history. There was a study done recently that listed the top ten things teenagers in high school struggle with during high school as compared to the 1990’s. In the 90’s, the number one struggle was drugs and alcohol. Today, drugs and alcohol are 10th! Depression and anxiety are #1. The last thing you should do is write them off as useless. One key to depression is isolation. They shouldn’t be able to isolate themselves. If you let them, they will. Step in. See the good they provide. Make every attempt to understand where they’re coming from before passing judgment. Allow them to teach you about technology. It just might improve the quality of your life.
I believe this relates directly to churches. We have youthful churches and old people churches. There really shouldn’t be a distinction. They should be able to coexist. The young leaders should welcome and invite the older generation to be an integral part of what they do, if for no other reason than they bring wisdom to the table. Older leaders need to step back and allow youthful members to be involved. Their ideas need to be heard and seriously considered. If the church wants to be relevant again, it needs to embrace this concept: End the generational war. Enough division.
This will take intentional effort on both parts. I urge you, if you find yourself on either side of this issue, do what you can to bridge this gap. If you really want to make the world a better place, Close. This. Gap. Don’t wait for someone else to do it… YOU do it!
Stay Classy GP!
Grainger
The people who attend church are wealthy, broke, healthy, sick, tall, short, skinny, fat, brilliant, young, old, funny, weird… you there yet? Every different type of person goes to church. There are 3 things they ALL have in common? 1- They’re imperfect. 2- They’re trying to improve on that imperfection 3- a common belief in Jesus. Yes, I’m aware the church has hypocrites. So do businesses, schools, and sports teams. Anytime you have people, you have problems. The church is no different. It’s a spiritual hospital. It’s full of people. Real people with real problems. If you’re looking for the perfect church…. If you’re looking for the perfect pastor… if you’re looking for perfect people that go to church… you WILL be looking for a long, long time. I have my own theory about hypocrites.
But only as I got older did I see a pattern connected to obedience. Every. Single. Time… it was followed by a blessing. There was never a moment this didn’t occur. Sometimes you had to look for the blessing. It wasn’t always something huge or significant. But there was always something that could easily be viewed as a blessing on the other side of obedience.
This is tough for both kids and adults. Wives, God has given you specific guidelines of obedience regarding your husbands. Husbands, God has given you specific guidelines regarding your wives. Parents, we’ve been given instruction that requires obedience regarding our children. And not that much of it is fun. But it’s necessary to stay in God’s order.
Yes, I’m aware Jesus didn’t die in the spring. I’m aware this was originally a pagan holiday celebrating the god of fertility (hence the bunnies). At some point, the Christian church began celebrating the resurrection on this day. I’m not sure exactly when and it’s irrelevant for the sake of this article. What’s important is what happened, and more importantly, the legitimacy of it.
But what happens next is where Jesus becomes separate from all other gods and religions. Every other “god” is still in their grave. You can dig them up today. He still holds the record for greatest disappearing act of all time. His dad is still the author of the #1 best-selling book of ALL TIME! This was made possible by the adversaries that sought to extinguish a fire- yet they only drenched it in fuel. So this Easter, remember: Because His death is authentic, His Resurrection is Revolutionary.
I can remember growing up, I played a lot of sports. No matter which sports I played, there were a few constants. I wanted to win. My coach liked to yell. If I was disrespectful to anyone, I was quickly dealt with. Win or lose, I got my juice box and relaxed on the ride home. But I never remember the refs. In fact, we were always told not to say a word to the refs… that this was coach’s job, not ours. So we never got involved in the ref bashing. As I got older, that changed. My smart mouth got me in so much trouble, that I literally once called out a defense “Twelve!”, which was our 2-1-2 and was given a T. The ref said “I heard what you said!” I said “yes, my teammates heard it too… I called the defense.” He looked at the coach and said “if you don’t take him out, I’m going to throw him out!” The fact was… I had a reputation… and not a good one. I remember a lot of fun things, bad things, tough things from those days in sports. But one thing I can never remember doing back then was… well… I don’t ever remember thanking the refs. Ever. For anything.
There I am, when they play Elvis clips on TV, one after another. I’m glued to the screen. I can’t move. Captivated by this guy. The most interesting part is…I’m 2 years old! So how does this music have this much of an impact on me?
We’ve all lost someone to suicide. We remember the initial feelings of shock and doubt. I’ve written an entire blog dedicated to this subject alone, so I won’t rehash it all. But the key to this problem is isolation. If the enemy can get us isolated, he can convince us of the lies that we’re not needed anymore. But the newest crisis is just that, a crisis. Ministers committing suicide. The latest victim was this week, Pastor Jim Howard of Real Life Church took his own life. While I have no idea what his life was like, the first thing I thought was all the “church faces” we put on when we walk in. I thought about all the facades that we continue to project so that we’re not embarrassed by our reality. Former pastor 
We’ve all lost someone to cancer. We know who they were before they found out. We know who they were after. We know what it was like watching them suffer. We know how strong they were through the entire process. Most of us also remember the feeling of how unfair this was to take someone like them. Inevitably, it’s accomplished one of two responses to faith. Either a stronger belief in the Creator, knowing that He is still in control and will make someone better because of this…OR someone who questions or even loses faith in anything that would “let this happen”. This week the music industry lost a legend. One of the greatest voices off all time, James Ingram, to cancer. I’ve lost quite a few friends to this. But one friend was quoted as saying, “why not me? If it causes people to come together in love and be closer to God, then why not me!?” That may be the most selfless thing I’ve ever heard someone say. Basically, he’ll die so we can be closer to God. Well, it worked. A large church filled up quickly to celebrate his life and before you knew it, men and women of all ages, races and cultural backgrounds were worshiping One God, with One Voice. It was amazing. For me, it changed the way I viewed friendships. He and I had grown close. Just being friends with him taught me how to be a better friend. So while I’ll never understand why God decided to welcome this incredible human being to heaven instead of someone like me, what I will understand is the unmatched power that God displays in times like these. But I’ll still simply never understand pure hate.
There was a report that Jussie Smollett was allegedly brutally attacked for no other reason than his skin color and his choice in lifestyle. Again, I don’t know him, but no one deserves that. While we now know that this was a completely fabricated story, it’s still happening in our country. You may say, “but we all have rights and they infringed on his rights…they should pay!” And you would be correct. But someone’s rights doesn’t stop them from an attack. The attackers’ lack of virtue makes it possible. We can put as many laws in place that we want, and some are useful. But until we begin to change hearts, we will stay on this decline. That means when someone worships a different God than you, when someone chooses a different sexual lifestyle than you do, when someone gets piercings and tattoos where you never would, that you LOVE them right where they are. You simply refuse to hate. You refuse to neglect. You refuse to make them feel bad for choices they made simply because you wouldn’t have made the same choices. That doesn’t make your choices right or better. It just makes them different. And even if someone is making bad choices, no one ever changed their mind as a result of fear, anger and judgment. Every person I know that changed their minds on bad choices, changed because someone loved them anyway. Every. Single. Time.
The recent story of the catholic school boys and the Native American is a perfect example. The first story that hits is that the boys are taunting and antagonizing the Indian gentleman, Nathan Stanard-also known as Phillips (I choose to call him by the name he used to enlist in to the military). Everyone on the elephant team says, “he did nothing wrong!” Everyone on the donkey team says “punch the smirk off his face!” One story, from one camera and one very unreliable news source comes out. No one knows the facts yet, but their team is under attack. Then the facts come out. Turns out, Mr. Stanard was first attempting to get between the Black Hebrew Israelites and the boys. He then began walking towards the kids and began beating the drum in the face of one of the boys. When that particular boy wouldn’t move out of the way of Mr. Stanard, the incident took form. We now know that there were no ill words spoken by any of the boys. None spoken by Mr. Stanard either. Only the foul language and hate-filled words by the BHI, who appeared nowhere in the first version of the story. We also now know that Mr. Stanard was NOT a Vietnam War veteran as was originally claimed. So now with all the facts, we should be able to properly assess what went right and what went wrong. But there’s two huge problems.