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Objective Truth Hurt My Feelings

Here is a fair question. How is that we have both a massive rise in mental health cases like never seen before and more mental health professionals than ever before? If we have more mental health professionals than ever before, then we should have fewer cases of mental health issues. That’s the logical assumption. But that’s not what’s happening. We have both an increase in mental health cases and more mental health professionals than ever before.

So how did we get here? To answer this question, we must look at the differences in the overall value structure in societies before the mental health crisis explosion and after. Because what we value is what we will espouse, pursue, and emit into the world. Our values point us towards an end goal, whether we realize what that goal is and regardless of whether it is a positive and uplifting goal or a negative and destructive one.

The value and belief system of yesteryear is one of simplicity. Boys and girls grow up in school together, use different bathrooms, understand that their issues are different, and respect and appreciate the inequality of boys and girls. The values and beliefs of the past espouse the notion that where I lack, my neighbor will fill in the gap until I can stand again on my own. The community raises our children. If there was a problem with a teacher, we were instructed that we were the problem (if indeed we were, and we were most of the time). We all play a part and live closely by the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In the midst of this, if someone in our community was out of line, we stepped in to help right the wrong. If it hurt your feelings, so be it. You were better for it afterwards. Men could accomplish things that their wives couldn’t. And likewise, women could accomplish things their husbands couldn’t. And that was ok.

The values have shifted. Now, boys can go into girls’ bathrooms. Girls can join the “boy” scouts. Read that again. Now girls believe they can do anything a boy can do causing boys to react citing they can do anything a girl can do, neither of which is correct. Today’s values say take care of yourself because you can trust no one. Today’s belief system says that you can’t say anything to my children or there will be consequences. If there is a problem with a teacher, it has to be the teacher’s fault. Today’s golden rule is “He who has the gold makes the rules.”

Wives believe they can do absolutely everything their husband can do, allowing for no individualism, cooperation, negotiation, and contribution by both parties. As a result, this goal of “equality” emasculates their husband and leaves him feeling useless and worthless, which contributes to divorce. Men and women simply are not equal and appreciating that and utilizing one’s strengths where their partner is weak, and vice-versa, makes a relationship thrive long term. There is so much science that proves this.

Today we are so afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings that are willing to allow a total falsehood to control the narrative of human existence. We will deny thousands of years of objective science, thousands of years of learning and figuring out which way is the best way, and thousands of years of believing that we are not the highest being in the universe so that one person won’t have their feelings hurt.

How did we get here? We removed objective truth from our society. When I throw a ball in the air, it will come down. If a fetus has XY chromosomes, it will be male. Subjective versus objective can be explained this way: Merle Haggard is a great singer. That is a subjective truth. I believe that but my wife doesn’t. Merle Haggard has won multiple Grammy awards. That is objective. Regardless of how my wife feels about that, it is a verifiable, objective truth.

Some objective truths that we have let slip away include differences in sexes, appreciating the two genders, the family system is the best unit on earth for sustaining a society, the best possible environment for a child to be raised is in a low-conflict home with two biological parents, and the fact that religiosity balances, sustains, and causes any society to flourish. It promotes well-being, community, helping those in need, and unselfishness.

But we are so afraid of hurting someone’s feelings that we ignore these facts and tell outright lies. By “we”, I mostly mean mental health professionals. Although “we” as parents and societal members can also be included. And by outright lies, I mean telling society that a child being raised in a single-mother home is the same as being raised by two parents. My children don’t get to be in this category. I am divorced and remarried. That hurts my feelings. But it is a fact, regardless of how I feel about it. Or that males should be allowed to compete in female’s sports because we don’t want to hurt their feelings of being confused and qualifying for a mental health disorder, according to the DSM-V manual. This is where feelings override solid facts that point you towards healthier living. Healthier living requires that we die to one belief in order to make room for another. That requires that we hear something uncomfortable and are forced to acknowledge it and evaluate it for validity.

Regarding religiosity, when you believe you are the highest order of being in your universe, you are aware of your humanity, aware of the mistakes that you can and have made, and this frightens you. Therefore, you are either frozen in fear and refuse to take risks, or you are completely nihilistic about it and take far too many risks. Neither are good. When you believe in a higher power (God), you understand that you make mistakes but follow the One who doesn’t. You are willing to take risks, but not catastrophic risks. You understand that you have an ultimate goal to reach for, thereby making you better each day than you were the day before. You acknowledge your shortcomings, but chase the perfect One, which only makes you better, which makes your family better, which makes your community better, and so on.

We MUST return to a belief in an objective truth. Facts. Facts that say that discipline reroutes a child to success from where they were otherwise headed. Gentle parenting does not work. Facts that include teaching children that they are not the most important person in the universe and the world isn’t about them. It’s about others. Children are growing up believing they are so important that when they find out that they really aren’t, it is causing a mental health breakdown. These are measurable, scientific facts. There is an argument for and against objective morality. You can read that HERE.

Once we return to facts, even if it hurts someone’s feelings, objective truth, belief in something higher (God), we will begin to see the mental health crisis start to subside. Until then, we still have more mental health cases and more mental health professionals than ever before, which makes no logical sense. Bring logical sense back.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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My Truth

What does My Truth and the Easter Bunny have in common?

Welcome to the church of God of Christ of apostolic visionary missionary Lutheran Catholic Baptist with a side order of Pentecostal Holiness. How cool would that be if that were a place? We all come from different backgrounds. We all grow up hearing people teach us things about life. When we grow up, we learn that some of it was true and some of it wasn’t. There’s no question that we are all a walking expression of our personal conditioning. That’s important to know because not everyone likes grits on top of their eggs. But I do. They were fixed that way for me as early as I can remember. That’s true. Whether you choose to believe that or not is up to you, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is the truth. Albeit subjective truth, it’s still the truth.

Subjective truth is based on personal opinion or experience. I like Merle Haggard’s music. For me, that’s the truth. For my wife, that’s not true at all. That’s subjective truth. Objective truth is something that is true regardless of opinion. Merle Haggard is a Grammy award winning artist. That can’t be argued. The problem is we, in the church, have begun to blur those concepts. But I think I know why…

I can remember hearing the word “rapture” a lot. I remember wondering why we only sang the 1st, 2nd and 4th stanzas of “Just as I am”. That 3rd stanza was awfully lonely. I remember hearing it wasn’t acceptable to dance in God’s presence. I remember hearing that our loved ones became angels when they died and arrived in Heaven. I remember hearing that if you didn’t get baptized, you weren’t saved. I heard “once saved, always saved” and “get saved every week”. It took a while to unpack all of this, but I learned some things.

I never found the word “rapture” in the Bible. I learned that there’s nothing wrong with the 3rd stanza of hymns. I read where David danced before the Lord (2 Samuel 6:14). I read that angels were created before humans and we are given tasks that the angels aren’t allowed to do (1 Corinthians 6:2-3). Angels are purely servants and we have been given much authority. Our loved ones are simply having the best time at the most lit party creation has ever seen. Remember the man on the cross next to Jesus? He was invited to Paradise by Jesus Himself… but he didn’t get baptized. Salvation is based on one thing, to believe, understand and obey the one true God that He indeed sent Jesus as His son and became the eternal sacrifice for us. When truly understood, it leads us to a place of gratitude and service.

So where did all that nonsense come from? Not sure, but it simply doesn’t appear in the Bible. But these days, we have a new problem. In the past, people would claim things that weren’t anywhere in the Bible. But today, our new dilemma is there are things that ARE in the Bible that society is choosing to ignore. The problem with either is that it simply doesn’t line up with what God says and has clearly laid out. My Granny is not an angel. She’s hanging out with her friends and family and Jesus Himself. Also, it is a sin to live together prior to being in a marriage covenant. I didn’t write either of those, but they exist completely autonomous of my approval or acceptance. That’s the thing about truth, it doesn’t require your approval. It just exists. It’s like facts, they don’t care about your feelings. They just ARE.

A growing trend is people in the church saying, “I don’t feel like everything the Bible says lines up with My truth.” There are a few problems with that phrase. First, and I realize I say this a lot, but God doesn’t always care about how you feel when it comes to obedience. He never said, “Do what I say, unless you don’t feel like it… in that case, just do whatever you want.” Nope. That never happened. Remember, if you make a decision based on a feeling, when that feeling changes, the decision changes with it. We cannot base truth or reality on how we feel. Because one day we feel one way and the next moment we feel the exact opposite. The other problem with this phrase is “My Truth”.

The new “in-phrase” is “My truth”. This implies that it is an unarguable entity. Its implication is fact… except it’s not. The phrase “My truth” should be more correctly translated “My opinion” or “my experiences”. This phrase stems from that subjective truth and the belief that our feelings hold a higher value than facts. The feeling that a loving God could never send someone to hell. The feeling that a loving and forgiving God would accept everyone regardless of their actions against His word. He’s supposed to be a loving God. So if you live together before marriage, well, you’re loving each other so God will understand… except there’s one problem… that’s not at all what the Bible says. It’s also false that God “sends” anyone anywhere. He doesn’t. I didn’t write it. I just read it. And it is very easy to understand on this issue and many others that society is trying to make murky. Remember, confusion is always from the enemy; never from God. The phrase “My truth” is basically used to justify what you wished the Bible said… but doesn’t really. This is a growing cancer in the church… just ask Joel Osteen. He’ll be glad to tell you all kinds of cool stories that don’t line up with scripture.

The question of, “why would a loving God send anyone to hell” or “why doesn’t a forgiving God just let everyone into Heaven?” is another topic for another day. But there simply is NO SUCH THING as “My Truth”. It’s either THE truth or it’s NOT THE truth. The only way you will know what THE truth is, is to dig in to God’s word and find out for yourself. Don’t take my word for it. Don’t take anyone’s word for it. Read it. If you have questions about it, ask someone that you know will give you a real and true answer, regardless of how it will make you feel. Ask someone smarter than you. If you don’t know anyone smarter than you, then there’s another problem at hand. Haha.

Blurring the lines of subjective and objective truth is dangerous and irresponsible, at best. God was very clear that “all scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). God’s word on marriage, sex, treatment of others, forgiveness, and many other topics is the objective truth. They stand strong outside of our opinion, approval, or acceptance. There’s nothing subjective about what God has instructed. So what does “My Truth” and the Easter Bunny have in common… you guessed it. They don’t exist.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger