patriarchy – Tidbits of Audacity

From Father Knows Best to Man Bashing

Recently, I have been seeing more posts about patriarchy than I remember seeing in years past. It appears that in most societal circles, it is a foregone conclusion that patriarchy is evil and any forward-thinking non-neanderthal should already know this. So I looked into it. Why is it evil? Was it always evil? Is there a better option?

Definition

It is important to note the definition I will be using for this article. Patriarchy can be defined this way: A system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family. There have been branches formed off of this from emotion and protest, but this is the original definition.

So then, what really is a patriarchy? According to the original definition, males lead their families. On the surface, this doesn’t sound so bad. Males are often natural leaders. Their innate ability to assess a crisis intervention with rationality, calmness, and refusal to allow emotion to inform his decision, makes men born leaders. Men have elevated levels of testosterone, which creates more muscle mass and bone density. As a result, men are more aggressive, risk more, are typically taller, faster, and stronger than women. Men go towards danger, rather than seek safety. It has been noted in literature that with sociological and psychological research on gender studies, the axiomatic presupposition is that real gender equality is logically and ontologically impossible.¹ The argument made is that patriarchy worked for centuries utilizing the strengths of both genders, rather than an attempt at equality, which cannot become reality. Now before you get into the zero-sum argument, we will deal with that in a minute. And before you get into the “But you’re a man, of course you’d say that!” arguement, women who can see this objectively and set emotions aside are saying the same things this article proposes. You can find such ladies Here and Here.

Benefits

What we know from history on patriarchal societies is that it has been historically successful. We know this because major cultures that dominate much of the global landscape have patriarchal history. Even major religions, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Hinduism come from patriarchal cultures. The innerworkings of patriarchy are that it is child centered. It is based on evolutionary biology. Patriarchy is designed to produce children and raise them to contribute to society. Patriarchy is others-focused. It is a social system of survival. Based on matriarchal societies, we know that matriarchy is individual based. You take care of you. I will take care of me. And we can thrive as a society if everyone does their part.

What Went Wrong

Patriarchy is still not sounding too bad so far. But along the way, things changed. Hierarchies in general are flawed systems. Hierarchies often displace those at the lowest level of the hierarchy. This requires the people, not the state, to lift those from the bottom. Historically, when this is done, the patriarchy survives and offers its finest benefits. As with any hierarchy, it has the propensity to devolve into a power-based structure. This is the entire reason for the U.S. Constitution and amendments. The founders understood this propensity and created documents that were designed to keep such power in check. Prior to the abatement into power-based patriarchy, our country was thriving in most areas. When men began abusing their power, limiting social mobility in women, and refusing to acknowledge women’s God-given abilities and contributions to society, exacerbated by the Margaret Sanger(s) and Kate Millet(s) of the world, touting pluralism, anti-monogamy, and the open intent on destroying the family through actions like promiscuity and prostitution, patriarchy began giving society good reason to abhor its existence.

Devaluation and Disadvantages

So where has its destruction taken us? Men are now traditionally devalued and openly discriminated against, without fear of retribution from anyone. James L. Nuzzo puts it this way: “Feminism has led to blatant discrimination against boys and men.”

One study “proved” that there is a bias against women in hiring STEM positions.² However, this study was done using a sample size of 127. When another group ran the exact same study using a sample size of 1016, they failed to replicate the findings and actually found the exact opposite: People were not biased against women in hiring for STEM, they were biased in favor of hiring women.³

Society spends a great deal of time concerned about the disadvantages girls have in math and science. This is in the face of stats showing us that boys’ disadvantages in reading are a much larger scale. In fact. In the average school, boys are almost an entire grade level behind girls in English.⁴ The gender gap in college enrollment is now wider than prior to Title IX in 1972, with only 42% of males earning degrees.

The effects of underrepresenting males in attention to health issues throughout society has cataclysmic effects. Among victims of Intimate Partner Homicide (IPH), approximately 75% are female and 25% are male. But try to remember the last time you heard someone suggest we need to address any males being victims of IPH. Yet they make up 1 out of every 4 victims.

We can all recall hearing people say that there isn’t enough funding for women’s health. However, Steve Stewart-Williams reviewed data provided by James Nuzzo that shows that 20% of the country’s health budget is sex-specific. Of that 20%, 15% goes to females and 5% goes to males. Again, tell me the last time you heard someone address a lack of men’s health funding. This is despite the fact that more men die on the job, men have a shorter life span than women, and men commit suicide more often than women. Male suicide accounts for the same number of deaths per year as breast cancer. Male suicide rates are four times higher than females and has increased 40% in younger men since 2010 (which just randomly coincides with the explosion of smart phones and social media).

Importance of Men

Are men important? If you ask around, look around, you would think not. According to recent polling, both sexes think it’s worse for a husband than a wife to have an affair – the opposite of the traditional double standard. We talk often about more women’s health funding, breast cancer awareness, battered women, hiring biases against women, and rightfully so. But we rarely, if ever, hear ways society can help men who are struggling to the point of taking their own lives. Meanwhile, daughters of single parents without the father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 71% more likely to have children as teenagers, and 92% more likely to get divorced.⁵

One group studied couples separated into two groups. One group, the husband worked full time and the other group, the husband worked part-time or not at all. They found that the couples where the husband worked part-time or not at all were significantly more likely to get divorced.⁶ However, when the study was turned towards wives, there was no correlation whatsoever in how much the wife worked and likelihoods of divorce. Why the correlation for husbands but not for wives? Men reported becoming depressed from not working and isolated themselves while simultaneously the wives were becoming less attracted to their husband because he wasn’t being productive. Meaning, men need to be productive. But men don’t want to be productive and mocked for it at the same time.

Where To Go From Here

Am I suggesting we should stop focusing on women’s issues and turn the attention to men? Absolutely not. I’ll let Dr. Richard Reeves say it best:

“Gender equality cannot be a zero-sum game. We can do more for boys and men without doing less for women and girls. We can be passionate about women’s rights, and compassionate toward the struggles of boys and men.”
-Dr. Richard Reeves, Of Boys and Men

As Dr. Steve Stewart-Williams pointed out, no one is asking for the spotlight to move from one group to another, we are merely asking that the spotlight shine on a broader population to include both genders.

What if patriarchy was used to serve others, care for others, and resist power dynamics? Would you be opposed to that system? Am I suggesting that patriarchy is the best thing available? No. I am suggesting that it is the least bad system available, and our nation’s history proves it. Only when men abused their power was it a problem. And women stood up to such abuse, rightfully so. This doesn’t diminish the potential that lies within men to lead their families, thus making men better versions of themselves, which helps their family, community, and society thrive. True patriarchy is servant leadership. It is possible. But it will never happen as long as we are in love with a vitriol-filled rage against all things male.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

1 Mushfequr Rahman, M. (2021). Why Society Needs Patriarchy: A Scientific and Social Justification. Social Sciences (New York, N.Y. Print), 10(5), 229. https://doi.org/10.11648/j.ss.20211005.14

2 Moss-Racusin, C., Dovidio, J. F., Brescoll, V. L., Graham, M. J., & Handelsman, J. (2012). Science faculty’s subtle gender biases favor male students. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 109(41), 16474–16479. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1211286109

3 Honeycutt, N., Careem, A., Lewis, N. A., Jr., & Jussim, L. (2020, August 18). Are STEM Faculty Biased Against Female Applicants? A Robust Replication and Extension of Moss-Racusin and Colleagues (2012). https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/ezp6d

4 Reardon, S. F., Fahle, E. M., Kalogrides, D., Podolsky, A., & Zárate, R. C. (2019). Gender achievement gaps in U.S. school districts. American Educational Research Journal, 56(6), 2474–2508. https://doi.org/10.3102/0002831219843824

5 Seidel, F. L. P. (2021). The proclivity of juvenile crime in fatherless homes: An urban perspective (Psy.D.). Available from ProQuest Dissertations & Theses Global. (2628794018).

6 Killewald, A. (2016). Money, Work, and Marital Stability: Assessing Change in the Gendered Determinants of Divorce. American Sociological Review, 81(4), 696–719. https://doi.org/10.1177/0003122416655340

Recently a teacher at a Seattle, Washington high school asked a room of tenth graders to identify themselves racially and sexually, which is abhorrent by itself. But then the teacher scolded a student for unfairly referring to himself as straight. The teacher noted that if he is straight, then that implies to be gay is to be crooked. The teacher told this same student that he was a “product of the patriarchy”, as if to imply transgression on the student’s part.

There is a strong push to bark at people that appear to be a “product of the patriarchy.” This is driving me insane because of the science and history that flow directly in the face of this phrase and notion. The mere hypocrisy of blistering someone verbally for something they can’t control by someone who believes they are being oppressed over something they can’t control is astounding.

Where to begin… well, let’s start with the fact that the patriarchy itself is not a bad thing. Patriarchy is how we got here. It’s how we got the greatest nation on earth. It’s how we got the least bad system of governance on earth. So it can’t be all that bad. There are certain systems of matriarchies that no one seems to be quick to refute as competent. But only for the purpose of identity over quality, which is, itself, a most irrational way of thinking and providing goods and services. Somehow the good or service is more credible because of what someone looks like, regardless of if it works or not. This removes merit.

What we know about hierarchies in general is that it is the least bad system created and that it will always displace the people at the lowest echelon of the hierarchy. This is a good thing and a bad thing in the same sentence. The only real question is how to take care of those that are displaced by the hierarchy. Some believe government programs are the answer. I know that if I ran my business like the government runs theirs, I’d be out of business. Others believe the fellow man, the citizen should pick up the slack. What’s ironic about this issue is that the same people that believe the government should regulate this are the same people that want socialism, where every member must carry their load or it doesn’t work, which points back to it being their fellow man that helps the lowest member of the hierarchy out of those depths of despair. This alone should tell you which is most likely the right solution.

Then you have to dive into the idea of matriarchy and patriarchy. Neither of which are inherently bad. Areas governed by women work when they are suited for the biological tendencies of women. This primarily happens in countries where the men are either insufficient or absent due to other needs being met for the community.

So we are back to patriarchy. The term “a product of the patriarchy” implies malevolence and toxicity in the mere existence of a patriarchy. This obviously denigrates men as a whole for being born with an xy chromosome. We have to at least recognize that the only time a patriarchy becomes a bad thing is when it denigrates into being based on power. Until it is based on power, it is based on all the things that make a society thrive, resources, distributions, protection, and growth (among other things). According to the website “Woman Against Feminism”, the matriarchy is an individual-based system while the patriarchy is a child-based system. It is centered around child survival and growth.

So now we get into the issue of men. So men are the problem? Statistics show in opposite-sex couples, when the male is either working only part time or not working at all, that couple is significantly more likely to get divorced than a couple where the male works full time. However, the opposite is not true. If the female works part time or not at all, there is no difference in the likelihood of divorce. So this statistic only applies to how much a man works. Why? Men need to be productive and feel as though they are wanted and needed. And production is one of the core ways a man feels wanted and needed. The breakdown of that leads to both men feeling useless and falling into severe depression as well as women feeling as though they’ve been left alone in the workload for the family and subsequently want out. Oh, but there’s more.

Dr. Sarah Hill believes she is on the cusp of something that will most likely lead to a research study. We have known for some time that the overall level of testosterone in men decreases when they get married. We also know that this overall level of testosterone decreases again when the couple has children. Now take the current research on a woman’s brain when she’s on the birth control pill. We have learned that the pill replaces progesterone with a synthetic form, progestin, which is the name given because it is not biologically identical. This progestin also replaces the area of estrogen increase during a normal cycle for a woman.

What does this mean? The progesterone phase of the cycle is when the body tells the brain that it could possibly be pregnant. So women gain weight, they want less risks, they avoid contaminants, and so on. Another side effect is that they desire fewer masculine qualities in their mate. They have found that if a woman on the pill believes she is with a desirable, attractive man, when she comes off of the pill, she is more attracted to him. Likewise, if she believes she is with a less desirable and attractive man, she is less attracted to him when coming off of the pill. The effects of being off of the pill magnify in either direction, depending on which way they were bent to begin with.

Now take what we know about couples’ likelihood of divorce if the man is working part time or not at all, combine this with what we know about women desiring less masculine men as a result of the birth control pill since the 1960’s, and put that with the current social climate of women working more than they ever have and men contributing much more to the day to day domestic tasks, and even some being stay at home dads (which we no know makes them more likely for divorce). What Dr. Hill believes is that this new social climate of men doing more domestic tasks and less working at their job is significantly leading to the emasculation of men and one of the reasons there are T centers on every corner of a city.

Men being men is what got us to our desired destination as a country. Men protect. Men serve sacrificially. Men are genetically physically bigger and stronger than equal women. The family is by far the strongest and best unit the world has ever seen. This all comes crashing down if we don’t stop crushing men and their natural instincts and tendencies because you feel as though they are a “product of the patriarchy.” Men are not the problem. Patriarchy is not the problem. Catering to one’s feelings in the face of biological and scientific facts is the problem. Being afraid to tell the truth is the problem. Being immersed in an echo chamber of social media rants where you only ever see what you agree with… is the problem. Don’t blame this on men no more than we can blame this on women. This transcends gender. And the more time we spend on what is not the solution, the longer our society decays before it either crumbles or we find the actual solution, which many were trying to warn us of, was right in front of us, and it wasn’t gender, age, nor race.

The United States of America and everything that is right about it is a product of the patriarchy. But you won’t hear that in a classroom in Seattle, Washington.

Stay Classy, GP!