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Missed Opportunities

Some opportunities come often. Some come “Once in a lifetime” so “You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it…” well you know. We can all point to missed opportunities in our own lives, if we’re honest.

I can point to countless meetings with music industry heavy weights. One particular meeting was with a producer who presents ideas to me about his vision for my career and I begin to lay out why he’s wrong and what really needs to be done. This dude was ready for me to be out of his office.

Then there are those times we go through something tough that we brought on to ourselves. And somehow after going through this, we don’t learn from our mistakes. We repeat them. We go back to that toxic relationship. We go back to that “friend” that isn’t a friend at all for introducing us to a highly addictive drug. These are all missed opportunities. And I can promise I’ve had my share and them some. So, I do not judge those that also miss opportunities.

Since this virus has hit America, there has been more division in our country than ever before since the civil war. People have picked a side and will die fighting for a side or an ideal regardless if they’re right or wrong. One side could say the sky is blue and the other will say “Fake news! I looked up and it was orange!” When in reality, they were both right but too divided to know it.

I’ve been praying and hoping there would be a voice of unity. A voice of reason in all this madness. Someone with a national platform that rises up and says something to the effect of “There are great people on BOTH sides of every argument. We must figure out a way to coexist in the middle of our disagreement… like adults!”

I keep thinking that soon it will happen. Someone will figure out a way to get people to put down their pitchforks just long enough to see the humanity in the person they have sworn to hate because their tribe says to. “ALL Biden lovers are lunatics!” or “ALL Trump lovers are racists!” really… anytime you put “ALL” on anything, you corner yourself into a place where you will most certainly be found WRONG.

In my life, I’ve had the fortune of traveling the world playing music and refereeing basketball. One thing that I found very consistent is that in every race and every culture there are: great people, terrible people, classy people, trashy people, people with high integrity and people who’d steal anything they can. There really is NO SUCH THING as “ALL” when referring to human beings… except that they are all human beings. That’s about where it ends.

Unfortunately, while waiting for this voice of reason, I completely stopped hoping it would be our president. While I realize that the things he’s “doing” are incredibly great for our country, the things he “says” aren’t. Yes, he’s taking care of America first and everyone else takes a number and gets in line… for the first time… maybe ever. Yes, he orchestrated the best economy this country has seen in at least 50 years. But the words he continues to say and tweet are at least as divisive as his predecessor. I find myself hoping someone will put him in Twitter time-out.

Trump’s predecessor, Obama, was one of the greatest speakers in American history. I was always a fan of who he was. What he stood for. He was a classy person. He was a family man. A good father and devoted husband. He knew when to lighten up and when to be serious. He knew how to put words together in such a way that they sounded like absolute art.

So when I heard he was speaking at John Lewis’ funeral, I quickly thought… “He’ll be the guy! Obama will say things to unify the country!” I’m not sure why I thought that. He never did it once in 8 years of office. But I thought that his classy nature would prevail and he’d be a voice of reason. No one would listen to Bush. No one would listen to Clinton. No one would listen to Pelosi. But EVERYONE would listen to Obama.

And as he began, the story was inspiring and full of awe. He spoke highly of a man that was worth speaking highly of. A man (J. Lewis) that overcame many obstacles and endured many hardships to make sure “the movement” didn’t die until racism did.

But then, in true presidential-Obama form, he began using his national microphone to push partisan agendas. To divide the country even further. If someone wasn’t angry about political division before, they certainly were after.

This man (Obama) had an opportunity to bring the nation together. He had the ears of Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, LGBTQ, Christians, Muslims, MAGA-bons, Never Trumpers, old, young, black, white, brown… he had the entire country in his hand and…..

He said, to a GROUP of PEOPLE in an INDOOR BUILDING that are sitting in close proximity that “there are those in power that are undermining the Postal Service in an election that is going to be dependant on mailed-in ballots so people don’t get sick.”

Yes, you read that correctly. He told people in an indoor building that coming into an indoor building was hazardous to people’s health while voting. Even Dr Alveda King, niece of the great Martin Luther King Jr., took notice of the missed opportunity. She stated that she was very upset that Obama would “grab at the chance” to politicize this funeral.

He had an opportunity and he missed it. He was the one person the entire country would have followed into unity. But he chose to divide… in equal fashion as our current president. Again, I’m not judging because I’ve had plenty of missed opportunities. Just pointing out the sad reality. So here I sit, still waiting for a national voice of reason to find a way to unify and to stop driving the partisan train into Missed Opportunities.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

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The Divided States of America

“I pledge no allegiance to a flag in the divided states of America, and to the republic, which is destroyed, one nation, under control where individual liberties and freedoms are gone.”

I’ve been searching for the root of what we’re seeing. I’ve seen a myriad of symptoms. The anger turned to violence. The violence turned on those who represent hate. But then the violence turned on those who were instrumental in making sure we no longer have slavery, to ensure we don’t have two separate countries… people who fought FOR justice and equality. The statues of U.S. Grant and Frederick Douglas came down… this made no sense.

We are obviously witnessing a cultural, non-violent, civil war. The country is at least as divided as it was under Obama or any other administration, for that matter. And the symptoms are in front of us. But the root isn’t. I truly think the civil unrest that hovers over our nation is due to 2 things: 1- A lack of Identity and 2- Unforgiveness.

Identity: Go back and look. In the 1960’s when LBJ responded to the Moynihan report by incentivizing single mothers to remain single, the welfare state as we know it began to take root. And along with the spike in fatherless homes came their end of the bargain- votes. And with those votes came more free housing and food. Which placed many people in a position to depend on the government and never lay claim to a land of their own. This is NOT relegated to a certain race, by the way. White and black people suffered from this.

One of the ways to tell that this is true is to listen to conversations between people who were raised by people who lived in that system. They always refer to their home as “where they STAY”. “I stay on the north side. Where do you stay?” A buddy of mine wrote a blog on it once and I almost fell out of my chair because finally someone besides me noticed it and mentioned it. The word live isn’t used. Because it would refer to ownership or heritage. And there is neither with those that grew up dependent on the government.

The more ownership you have in something, the less likely you are to want to destroy it. You feel a certain connection to that town or area. You remember the history of that area… good and bad. You revel in the good and learn from the bad. But it’s your town. Your people. I submit that those of us who have a hard time understanding how someone could burn a town down, truly try to understand those that feel displaced. With no American roots. The cultural identity is a huge step in ending the misguided anger that we’re seeing unfold. And it’s up to us to include those who feel displaced to help give them a sense of ownership and pride.

Unforgiveness: When you think of people that have done great things, you remember the greatness of who they were and often overlook the wrong they did. Take a biblical character, for example. Saul/Paul. Paul wrote most of the new testament. Very possibly the largest contributor to the longest running best-selling book in the history of the world. We benefit from the teachings on marriage. On sins. On church. On friendships. We accept all of this knowing that he massacred many Christians prior to becoming a believer himself. Why? Because we know that who he WAS is not who he IS.

Historical figures that paved the way for our country to be the greatest country in the world are a bit messy. Lincoln, Grant, Jefferson, Madison, Washington… the list goes on… ALL owned slaves. Hamilton bought and sold them for his father-in-law. But all of these men accomplished incredible things that paved the way for us to have a free market system surrounded by individual protections that make us, by far, the best country in the world.

So when one mistake is made or discovered, does that discredit any good thing they ever did? I hope not. I RARELY agree with this guy, but truly, Bill Mahar said it best when it comes to cancel culture, “Who are these perfect people that have never made any mistakes?!”

What we’re seeing is an attempt to completely discredit any good thing done by someone who has ever failed in their past. Unfortunately, that would include every single person in the history of the world… except one. And that One taught us to forgive. To look past the transgression itself and into the heart of the person and forgive. This coming from a man that knew He would be betrayed by His own people.

What was the basis of America? The very reason for creating a new country and being willing to fight for this country to the death? Freedom. Freedom from a king’s rule. Freedom from being ruled by the church. Freedom to exist and partake in individual liberties without the fear of an oppressive government dictating and mandating your every move.  

And we got there. Did they make mistakes getting there? Yes. Did America make some mistakes getting to the place we are now? Of course. But we got here. We got to a place where we are more free and more equal than ever before in our nation’s history and more than any other society anywhere in the world. On the backs of humans… who made mistakes. In order to enjoy the benefits, we must forgive the mistakes, learn from the mistakes, and then we can enjoy the successes. If we keep erasing the mistakes, we’ll forget the mistakes… and repeat them. We must figure out a way to return to the UNITED states of America- through identity and forgiveness…. you know what? Forget everything I just said. I actually think it’s sports. That’s why we’ve all gone nuts. We need sports back!!

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger