It Starts With Us

Church… we have done a terrible job.

In light of the events at Covenant school, the haves and have nots put on their gloves and begin to duke it out. Of course, and predictably, one side says it’s a trans issue. The other side says it’s a gun issue. No one can believe it can be both or neither. It has to be one of these because “my team” says so.

We could break down the issue that the killer had a map and a manifesto. So whether it was a gun, a bomb, a knife, a car, someone was going to get hurt or possibly die regardless of the weapon. The killer had it in her mind that this was going to happen. The weapon was the vehicle. But let’s not let a moment go by to push an agenda to make sure we get reelected. It is worth noting that the killer passed a preferred first location because there was armed security and knew she wouldn’t be able to carry out what she wanted. She picked a place with no guns, much like the Colorado movie theater shooter.  

We could make some irrational attempt to tie this to recent legislature in Tennessee. The legislation passed prohibits obscene performances from targeting children. The governor and lawmakers who wrote and sponsored the bill are on record saying it is not to address what is currently happening in Tennessee. It is designed to address what is happening in other parts of the country and making sure it doesn’t happen here. So no, it’s not a crime to be trans or a drag queen. Please continue to have the exact same fun you were having before. But if you target children in any way, you will be arrested. And rightfully so. Children often have to be saved from their parents. If you don’t believe me, go visit a foster home. And for those who say, “I can take my child wherever I want”, human traffickers are hoping you mean it.

We could make a point to call out those that claim there are 72 genders and normalize mental instability. We could point out that the chief of police stated that this person identified as transgender. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR) defines gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults as a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and their assigned gender, lasting at least 6 months. But then immediately after that the chief stated there was no history of mental illness. But he just said she suffered from a recognized mental illness… yet has no history of mental illness. That is a huge problem. Normalizing mental illness and being afraid to call it what it is. We cannot fix a problem until we recognize that it is a problem. The DSM-5-TR said it was a problem, why can’t we?

But here’s the real problem, those issues are not the core issue to this event. While I don’t truly know the motivations of the killer at the Covenant school, the fact that she was a former student there and came back to do what she did, tells me something important, THE CHURCH FAILED HER. There seems to be a perceived battle between Christians and transgender persons. That’s the problem, though, there is no battle. Or at least there shouldn’t be. Christians should not be in a battle or at war with people who identify as transgender. We should be available for them when they are in need.

If you saw this story and first thought anything other than sorrow for the victims and the killer, then you are part of the problem. For decades, and maybe forever, the church has been a social elite club where we ignore the problems in our own lives and spend all of our time pointing out the problems that we don’t struggle with. Hey, most of the church doesn’t (openly) struggle with gender dysphoria. So let’s attack it! Let’s put our energy in telling you what YOU need to do differently because there’s something wrong with YOU. Never mind our problems. That’s not important right now. What we need to do is illuminate your problems so no one knows we’re a wreck behind closed doors.

If the church wants to do something (besides “thoughts and prayers”), how about we start by not ostracizing those with mental disabilities. How about we love them right where they are. And point to the One who knows how to make their life less confusing and more peaceful. How about we stop attacking, do more loving, and being a kind face with kind words to a confused person. One thing I’ve learned about God is that he is never confused. He is always clear. So if you ever feel confused about something, that is 100% from the enemy. Never from God. For too long, the church has become known for what it is against rather than who it is for. This must change.  

So, for those that struggle with what the Bible calls sin (which is all of us) and those that are confused about how you were made, allow me to apologize on behalf of the church. Please hear our apology and know that we serve a forgiving God, a restorative God who sees us where are, saves us where we are, but loves us too much to leave us where we are.

For every so-called church goer that ridiculed you and made you feel like God loved you less; for every sermon you heard that made you feel like you don’t belong anywhere near God or a church; for every church going person that told you that you are not welcomed around them; for every time you were yelled at from a car and then noticed the fish on their bumper… for that, WE’RE SORRY.

The only real solution that will last is to stop normalizing sin and illness for fear of hurting one’s feelings and open our arms and embrace them where they are. Don’t ask them to change. Don’t ask them to be different. Accept them where they are and let God do the rest. My guess is this girl felt severely hurt by the church and never really loved by anyone that claims to love everyone. It must start with the believers.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger