Posted on

Shame on You

I can remember as a kid, we went to Showbiz pizza. It was basically a Chuck E. Cheese. I was probably around 7 years old. I go to the bathroom. As I’m about to walk out, a woman walks in. I look at her, with full confidence and say, “You’re in the wrong bathroom. This is the boys.” She said, “No, it’s not. Check the sign.” I looked at the sign and to my horror, it said “Ladies.” And to make it worse, there were some kids I didn’t know nearby and saw the whole thing. They started laughing at me.

I then knew what it felt like to be shamed. Shamed for going into the wrong bathroom. No, this is not a blog about Target. I avoided that meaningless nonsense altogether. If you don’t know which bathroom to go in, we don’t have much to talk about.

Throughout life, I’ve seen people be shamed repeatedly. Sometimes it’s warranted. Like when they knowingly committed an awful crime and are only sorry that they got caught. Shame should be the reaction. But most of the time, it is not warranted.

When birth control was invented, improved, and became affordable, this caused more women to be able to enter the workplace. And, as predicted, many men had an issue with this. And also predictably, these women were shamed for not wanting to stay home. The problem here was that those that were shaming them for wanting to go to work were not aware of their daily issues.

All of this took place in the 1960’s. Birth control. More women entering the workplace. And men becoming more and more absent.

Originally, men being absent had a real reason, the war. Whether it was WWII or the Vietnam War. But this wasn’t even the worst of it. President Johnson read a report called the Moynihan Report and made a drastic response to it. President Johnson then proceeded to incentivize single mothers for being single mothers. These women would get more money and not have to work as long as they had children and had no man in the home. So they had as many children as they thought they could handle. The results were staggering, yet also somewhat predictable. There was an explosion of babies that grew up not knowing their fathers. But if you thought this only affected the black community, wrong. Prior to this policy, 8% of white babies were born to single mother homes and 25% of black babies were born to single mother homes. After this policy, white families born to single mothers rose to 25% and black babies born to single mothers rose to 75%. They both TRIPLED. And here you have the beginning of the epidemic of fatherless homes. Crime statisticians had plenty to do following this radical response to a report.

As a result of this, mothers were left to figure this out on their own. So with birth control becoming an affordable option within reach of almost any woman that wanted it, they were now able to go and work and not try to rely on the man, who would often use their position of breadwinner as a power play to mistreat their wife. The shaming began… by who? Men. Towards who? Working women. The very men that were walking out on their families were shaming women for bettering themselves. For obvious reasons. They were losing power.

Following the American Revolution, Abigail Adams wrote to her husband, John Adams, and said, “In the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.” To which the future President of the United States replied, “We know better than to repeal our Masculine systems.” Of course men were furious at women working more.

Thus began the nonstop shame. Working women were ridiculed everywhere. Eventually, there were more female lawyers, more female representation than male in almost any university in America, and more men ditching their responsibilities than ever before. At some point, the table turned completely. Women began meeting men that were staying home and taking on their duties as husband and father. Men were providing, but not abusing. They were protecting but not dictating. They were directional but loving. This new man was something women longed for but hadn’t seen in a while, if ever. But he came along and caused many women to simply want to be a mother and housewife.

I read the transcripts from Harrison Butker. He’s a Catholic, speaking at a Catholic school, about Catholic issues. To expect anything other than that is very delusional. The response from the “Love is Love” crowd was anything but loving. Having said that, I don’t agree with his stance on IVF or birth control. But I also didn’t raise hell about his speech. Because Catholics all have the same stance on birth control and IVF. But in the flip of a switch, the shaming that once was abhorrent to society, was now ok as long as it was aimed at women who wanted to stay home and be wife and mother. This cannot be ok.

Shaming a woman for being a working woman, CEO, Attorney, (insert any career here) is uncool, self-righteous, and just mean. Along with that, shaming women for wanting to be a wife and mother only is equally as wrong. It is just as noble to want to make a lot of memories with your children as it is to make a lot of money for your family. So when Butker applauded the women for their accomplishments and also, at the same time, acknowledged that some of them may end up wanting to stay at home, there was literally nothing wrong with this.

And what was America’s response? Butker’s women’s jerseys are sold out. Apparently, they really do want to be a wife and mother as long as they have a man that will handle the other stuff and not be abusive along the way.

Leave the shame out. Let people be who they are. Even when (especially when) you don’t agree with them.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

Posted on

A.C.T.

During my time in the music industry, I ran into so many people who looked as though someone had taken them out back and whipped them repeatedly. They looked dejected, worn down, and defeated. For some, it took over. They lost their record deals, their families, and in some cases, their lives. I had a couple of good mentors in the industry that pointed this out and told me to be careful of this happening to me. As a result, I learned from some of the best and managed to figure out how to manage the stress of the industry.

At the time, I was learning how to survive the music industry, but the principles that I was learning from others and what God was showing me was more universal than just the music industry. What I learned in that time was how to cope with being in a visible position. This applies to any visible position. Music artist, TV personality, pastor, professional athlete, CEO, any visible position where people tend to view you in a higher social status and tend to “brown nose” to get close to you in hopes that they too will be viewed in this higher social status.

One thing I learned is that everyone will compliment you. Constantly. “You’re the best singer ever!”, “You’re amazing!”, or “If you don’t make it, I’m moving back home!” These were some of the things I heard through the years. A couple of things I learned from this. First, we were never meant to take on that much praise. Verbal encouragement is a necessary dichotomy. In the right doses, it’s needed. Too much, and it’s costly.

The reason for this is that compliments were designed to benefit the giver. As we know, God is a giving God. So God made us in His image. Therefore, when we give, we benefit. It’s His design. From a physiological angle, God designed it so that we release a neurochemical called oxytocin whenever we either do something generous for someone or even when we witness it. It’s a feel-good chemical. And it only gets released by kind, generous acts and touch, like when you shake a hand, pat on the back, or hugs. So again, God made us to give. Therefore, the compliment benefits the giver. The compliment is a burden to the recipient. We weren’t meant to take on large amounts of praise. As you see, this is why it’s a necessary dichotomy.

This is what kills most people in visible positions. It is incredibly easy to begin to wear the accolades thrown in your direction. Everyone wants to be near you. They want to throw compliments at you hoping you will return the favor and invite them into your circle. It feels good when they say kind things about you. And what many do is they put those compliments on like a coat and wear them around. Not realizing that this coat is poisonous. It begins to erode your sensitivity to what’s right and true. You begin to think you are the reason for your success, not God.

The only way to properly handle all of this is to A.C.T. First, we must Acknowledge. We must acknowledge that the compliment is for the giver and a burden to the recipient. We just discussed that. The next thing is to Collect. When we are given compliments, we should collect them and proverbially set them to the side. Don’t display false humility, “It’s not me, it’s only God.” No one wants to hear that. Just say thank you and set it to the side for later. Collect all of the kind things that people are saying about you.

And lastly, Transfer. When the dust settles on the event, and you are finally able to get away and get alone for a few minutes, take all of those compliments you set to the side earlier, get alone with God, and offer them up to Him saying, “Look at what they said about YOU.” See, those compliments were meant for God, not you. If you keep that perspective, you prevent yourself from ever believing the lie that they are about you. Then you remove the burden of the compliment. Jesus said to cast all of our cares and burdens onto Him. Here’s your chance.

I’m firmly convinced that this is what killed Elvis. He was getting it from every direction. And I don’t believe it was intentional. But I believe that no one ever taught him how to manage this and he just went on instincts. And left to our instincts, we will believe what people say about us. He believed it to the point where he became almost untouchable. He fired a bodyguard who was his close friend before he ever became famous. This guy had been with him from the very beginning and in 1976, one year before Elvis’ death, Elvis fired him for caring about Elvis and suggesting that he was taking too many pills. He had become “too big.” Elvis did not know how to handle the pressure. He never turned it over to God. In defense, Elvis did make an attempt. He would get the band together before every show and sing hymns. This was his way of refocusing before a show. But it wasn’t enough. He died… from those pills.

If you or someone you know is in a place of visibility, pass this on to them. If the place of visibility and power isn’t handled correctly, it will get to you and destroy you. We must maintain that the gifts are from God. Therefore, the compliments are for God. If you’ve never tried to A.C.T., then give it a try. I dare you.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

Posted on

A Product of the Patriarchy

Recently a teacher at a Seattle, Washington high school asked a room of tenth graders to identify themselves racially and sexually, which is abhorrent by itself. But then the teacher scolded a student for unfairly referring to himself as straight. The teacher noted that if he is straight, then that implies to be gay is to be crooked. The teacher told this same student that he was a “product of the patriarchy”, as if to imply transgression on the student’s part.

There is a strong push to bark at people that appear to be a “product of the patriarchy.” This is driving me insane because of the science and history that flow directly in the face of this phrase and notion. The mere hypocrisy of blistering someone verbally for something they can’t control by someone who believes they are being oppressed over something they can’t control is astounding.

Where to begin… well, let’s start with the fact that the patriarchy itself is not a bad thing. Patriarchy is how we got here. It’s how we got the greatest nation on earth. It’s how we got the least bad system of governance on earth. So it can’t be all that bad. There are certain systems of matriarchies that no one seems to be quick to refute as competent. But only for the purpose of identity over quality, which is, itself, a most irrational way of thinking and providing goods and services. Somehow the good or service is more credible because of what someone looks like, regardless of if it works or not. This removes merit.

What we know about hierarchies in general is that it is the least bad system created and that it will always displace the people at the lowest echelon of the hierarchy. This is a good thing and a bad thing in the same sentence. The only real question is how to take care of those that are displaced by the hierarchy. Some believe government programs are the answer. I know that if I ran my business like the government runs theirs, I’d be out of business. Others believe the fellow man, the citizen should pick up the slack. What’s ironic about this issue is that the same people that believe the government should regulate this are the same people that want socialism, where every member must carry their load or it doesn’t work, which points back to it being their fellow man that helps the lowest member of the hierarchy out of those depths of despair. This alone should tell you which is most likely the right solution.

Then you have to dive into the idea of matriarchy and patriarchy. Neither of which are inherently bad. Areas governed by women work when they are suited for the biological tendencies of women. This primarily happens in countries where the men are either insufficient or absent due to other needs being met for the community.

So we are back to patriarchy. The term “a product of the patriarchy” implies malevolence and toxicity in the mere existence of a patriarchy. This obviously denigrates men as a whole for being born with an xy chromosome. We have to at least recognize that the only time a patriarchy becomes a bad thing is when it denigrates into being based on power. Until it is based on power, it is based on all the things that make a society thrive, resources, distributions, protection, and growth (among other things). According to the website “Woman Against Feminism”, the matriarchy is an individual-based system while the patriarchy is a child-based system. It is centered around child survival and growth.

So now we get into the issue of men. So men are the problem? Statistics show in opposite-sex couples, when the male is either working only part time or not working at all, that couple is significantly more likely to get divorced than a couple where the male works full time. However, the opposite is not true. If the female works part time or not at all, there is no difference in the likelihood of divorce. So this statistic only applies to how much a man works. Why? Men need to be productive and feel as though they are wanted and needed. And production is one of the core ways a man feels wanted and needed. The breakdown of that leads to both men feeling useless and falling into severe depression as well as women feeling as though they’ve been left alone in the workload for the family and subsequently want out. Oh, but there’s more.

Dr. Sarah Hill believes she is on the cusp of something that will most likely lead to a research study. We have known for some time that the overall level of testosterone in men decreases when they get married. We also know that this overall level of testosterone decreases again when the couple has children. Now take the current research on a woman’s brain when she’s on the birth control pill. We have learned that the pill replaces progesterone with a synthetic form, progestin, which is the name given because it is not biologically identical. This progestin also replaces the area of estrogen increase during a normal cycle for a woman.

Dr. Sarah E. Hill

What does this mean? The progesterone phase of the cycle is when the body tells the brain that it could possibly be pregnant. So women gain weight, they want less risks, they avoid contaminants, and so on. Another side effect is that they desire fewer masculine qualities in their mate. They have found that if a woman on the pill believes she is with a desirable, attractive man, when she comes off of the pill, she is more attracted to him. Likewise, if she believes she is with a less desirable and attractive man, she is less attracted to him when coming off of the pill. The effects of being off of the pill magnify in either direction, depending on which way they were bent to begin with.

Now take what we know about couples’ likelihood of divorce if the man is working part time or not at all, combine this with what we know about women desiring less masculine men as a result of the birth control pill since the 1960’s, and put that with the current social climate of women working more than they ever have and men contributing much more to the day to day domestic tasks, and even some being stay at home dads (which we no know makes them more likely for divorce). What Dr. Hill believes is that this new social climate of men doing more domestic tasks and less working at their job is significantly leading to the emasculation of men and one of the reasons there are T centers on every corner of a city.

Men being men is what got us to our desired destination as a country. Men protect. Men serve sacrificially. Men are genetically physically bigger and stronger than equal women. The family is by far the strongest and best unit the world has ever seen. This all comes crashing down if we don’t stop crushing men and their natural instincts and tendencies because you feel as though they are a “product of the patriarchy.” Men are not the problem. Patriarchy is not the problem. Catering to one’s feelings in the face of biological and scientific facts is the problem. Being afraid to tell the truth is the problem. Being immersed in an echo chamber of social media rants where you only ever see what you agree with… is the problem. Don’t blame this on men no more than we can blame this on women. This transcends gender. And the more time we spend on what is not the solution, the longer our society decays before it either crumbles or we find the actual solution, which many were trying to warn us of, was right in front of us, and it wasn’t gender, age, nor race.

The United States of America and everything that is right about it is a product of the patriarchy. But you won’t hear that in a classroom in Seattle, Washington.  

Stay Classy, GP!

Grainger 

Posted on

Is Love All We Need? Not Even Close

Why is Christmas many people’s favorite time of year? Even non-religious people, it’s their favorite time of year. What makes this time of year different for those that aren’t actually celebrating Jesus’ birth? I have a theory.

We have all heard the songs, “love is all you need” or “you are all I need” and we have all chosen to believe this. Celine Dion, Rodney Crowell, and The Beatles sang about this. The problem is, it’s not even close to the truth. If you said, “God is all I need” you’d still be wrong. Here’s why:

We were designed to be social. We were created to have social interactions. Without these social interactions, we begin to lose our minds. Let me explain from a psychological viewpoint.

The Stanford Prison Experiment: In 1971, a psychology professor at Stanford University led a research team conducting an experiment on human behavior given pack mentality versus isolation. Everyone involved was a willing participant in the research and was told they could leave at any time. They split the group into guards and prisoners. They told the guards to keep the prisoners in line. Eventually, the guards took their jobs as power-wielding tyrants seriously and began using psychological tactics to keep the prisoners from escaping. The experiment was supposed to last 2 weeks. It only lasted 6 days because both the guards and the prisoners had all but forgotten they were willing participants and felt forced into their current positions, which caused extreme psychological stress to the prisoners, and later the guards as well. The isolation caused their minds to lose their grasp on reality. The reality was that they were just college students pretending to be something else for an experiment but instead they had grown to believe they were actually prisoners.

Kalief Browder: Now if that was the effect after 6 days, imagine being isolated from reality for 2 years. This was the case with Kalief Browder. Browder was a common kid, getting into small theft trouble in the streets of New York. One day he was arrested and charged with a crime he did not commit. Without any evidence, he was charged and sentenced, based on his prior history. He was sent to the Rikers Island jail system. There, he was being bullied. So he fought to defend himself. In doing so, they put him in solitary confinement. He spent 800 days in solitary confinement. Studies show that if one is in solitary confinement for more than 30 days, they will suffer severe psychological damage.

After his release, the case gained national attention. Browder appeared on The View with his lawyer. Rapper Jay-Z reached out to him. He was gaining national support. Nothing but love. But love was not enough. Upon his fifth suicide attempt, Browder was finally successful in 2013. The isolation had destroyed him permanently. Love was not enough.

Oxytocin: There are four “feel-good” chemicals that flow through your brain. Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin, and Oxytocin. Of the four, oxytocin is the only one that does not have a negative side. Endorphins mask pain, but the pain comes back. You can easily become addicted to dopamine. Serotonin can be tricked into being released. But oxytocin requires generosity and/or physical touch.

So the way oxytocin is released is when there is physical touch and when there is a random act of kindness or an act of true generosity without expectation of reciprocity. So when you pat someone on the back or shake their hand or hug them, oxytocin is released. When you do something kind for someone, you get a release of oxytocin, they get a release as well, as well as anyone who witnessed it. Oxytocin fights addiction and boosts your immune system. We are DESIGNED to be generous, social beings. Love is not enough. I know, “But you said God is not enough?” Hear me out.

Adam and Eve: God created everything in the world, every living thing. Then He created Adam. At this moment, there is no sin. There is no competition for God’s attention. There is only Adam and God. Adam literally had everything he needed in that moment. And somehow, in the midst of such perfection, God still said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Why?! He had God. He had love. If that is all we need, then there was no need for anything else in that moment. That’s just it, we needed more, because of how God made us. It’s the relational aspect of how we are created that causes us to want to be close to God, which was the original design. I don’t want to force my kids to hug me. I want them to want to hug me. That aspect of us requires more than love and more than God. It requires each other.

What we find is that when we are separated from each other, the enemy begins to tell lies that we begin to believe which destroy us. When we are isolated from God’s other creations, we lose the ability for rational thought. But when we do something for someone else, we better our own physical body and brain. We unlock what God created for us by being socially interactive.

So, is love all we need? No. Is God all we need? Apparently not. We need God and God in each other. This is the only way we thrive the way God intended. I know it doesn’t sing well, but it’s just the truth. So this Christmas, embrace the time of giving generously and joyously but with a new outlook on it. It is what we all NEED. And maybe we can start acting like it’s Christmas year round.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

Posted on

Tattooed on Your Heart

I’ll never forget the time I was on the road with Blessid Union of souls and we had played the University of Miami. Afterwards, we were invited to a very nice restaurant. So nice, I felt very out of place. I was uncomfortable from the moment I walked in. And it must have been on my face because the guys in the band just sat me between them and started throwing appetizers at me, “Try this… and this!” Before long, I was no longer uncomfortable and was able to just enjoy the time. They went out of their way to make sure I felt like I was one of them.

In my time in the music industry, this was the case with most. Most people in that industry are kind, thoughtful people. When their brothers and sisters are hurting, they run to each other’s need and comfort them in whatever way they can. Such was my experience.

This is NOT the case with the church, unfortunately. The church is the only army that kicks its wounded while they’re down. It’s one of the few groups out there that gloat in how great they are… “in the name of Jesus.” Church people have a tendency to struggle less with major things (or at least hide them better), and therefore view that as a license to attack anyone who does struggle; “I don’t struggle with adultery or porn addiction, so I’m going to drive that home, showing everyone how righteous I am! I will conveniently leave out the sins I struggle with… let’s not talk about those.”

Kat Von D

Such is the case with Kat Von D. The celebrity tattoo artist was immersed in witchcraft and occult culture. She stated that there was a heaviness, a darkness, and a negativity that she no longer wanted to be a part of. She returned to her early roots of Christianity. She chose to publicly get baptized, expressing the belief that baptism is an outward expression of an internal change.

Of course, this brought out the morally superior. She stated that her atheist friends and fans came out with a huge show of support and love about her personal decision. It was not they who attacked her. It was Christians. They claimed she was faking the whole thing as a PR stunt. They accused her of not being a real Christian with all of the tattoos and the clothes she wears… the CLOTHES she wears! Christians came out and attacked her for now being married to an apparent non-Christian. They attacked her for her choice in music. They even came after her because her hands didn’t go completely under water. WHAT?!?

Basically, every narrow-minded, nonsensical statement you could think of shot out of their vitriol-filled mouths. She finally said, “do you only hang out with people that think and look like you? If so, that is a very sad and narrow-minded way to live. I didn’t get baptized to be saved. I was already saved. It’s not about me.” Good for her. Because it’s true. At the end of her response to this vile retort from these “peculiar people”, she said, “I love you anyway. That’s being Christ-like.”

Kat Von D getting baptized and attending church

The audacity of some people to believe that because they don’t live a dark life, they have the right to look down on those that have, is amazing to me. These are the same people that would have bet on never seeing that thief on the cross in heaven. The thief said (paraphrased), “I believe you are who you say you are, please remember me when you get where you’re going.” To which Jesus responded, “Today you will be with me in Paradise.” His hands never went fully under water. In fact, water never touched them. He never signed a membership document. He never learned the sinner’s prayer. It’s like a minister once said, “on what authority did he get into heaven? The man on the middle cross, that’s all the authority he needed!”

For those that believe tattoos are ungodly, you missed the point and, once again, took a scripture out of context. Not that I’m surprised. In Leviticus 19:28, when it says to not put tattoo marks on your body, the passage is specifically referring to false idols. The verse before said not to cut your hair. We going with that too, or just sticking with what you believe to be someone ELSE’S sin? These were things the people of that time and area were doing to worship false idols and gods. God said to stop those things and worship Him. Those were the things they were doing that were in the way of worshipping Him.

It’s not about the visible, it never was. In Numbers 21, the people of Israel had grown weary and frustrated with their circumstances. They spoke out against God. The response was a swarm of snakes. When they were bitten, they would die. The people asked Moses to speak with God on their behalf, asking for forgiveness. God’s response? Build a bronze statue of a snake on a pole (which, coincidentally, is currently used as a symbol for medicine). God told them to build a statue! It’s not about the statue. It’s about the heart. God didn’t remove the snakes. He gave them a way to deal with the problem. When we find ourselves in a predicament that we got ourselves into, God doesn’t just get us out, but rather He gives a way to survive and work through it. He doesn’t just rearrange who you are, He gives you the grace to work through who you are and who He is in you. It’s like the old saying, give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

God didn’t save you out of your mess so that you could belittle those that don’t look like you. He saved you from your mess so that you could love those who don’t look like you. This is how they will know… by the LOVE that you show. Currently the church is more known for what it is against than who it is for. It is time we, as ambassadors for Christ, start giving the world a reason to find what we found and stop being the reason they never will. Thank you, Kat Von D, for showing us the error of our ways, and at the same time, not giving up on us, but showing us love when we didn’t deserve it, just like Jesus does. I hope God’s love is forever tattooed on your heart.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

Posted on

The Only Shape That Fits

Most of us have enjoyed the beauty of a painting. Artists spend their time crafting what they believe to be a good painting. When they are done, they sign the painting somewhere on the canvas. The creator makes a mark on the painting that only he can make signifying it is his. Our Creator did the same thing. I’ll explain.

I was in the doctor’s office waiting room with my daughter watching a few kids play. One kid concerned me a little. She kept trying to put the square piece in the round hole. Over and over she tried. She finally threw the square piece. Then she picked up the triangle piece and put it in the round hole. Again, didn’t fit. She threw that one too. It seemed no matter which block she picked up, if it wasn’t the round one, it wasn’t going to fit.

Then it hit me. This is exactly what we do in life. We go through life trying to find something that will fill the hole in our inner most beings, but it never seems to fit perfectly. We look up and wonder why we are still miserable.

I recently watched the Johnny Football documentary. He had achieved everything he had ever dreamed of and more. He was a D1 star. He made more money than he knew what to do with. He beat Alabama. Ha. He won the Heisman as a freshman. He was drafted in the first round of the NFL. Then, sitting on his couch in Cleveland, he was miserable. All of that still didn’t equate to fulfillment. He tried taking his own life. The only reason he’s alive is because the gun malfunctioned.

Then there’s the time Deion Sanders attempted to take his own life after winning the super bowl 3 times. Or how about the time Dennis Rodman contemplated taking his own life. He had won championships. But he was miserable.

Robin Williams was a living legend. Kate Spade had more money than I’ll ever see. Anthony Bourdain had his own show traveling the world doing what he loved. It wasn’t enough. There’s a reason.

There’s a hole or void in our souls in a certain shape. It’s the shape of God. We have all tried to put things there that don’t fit. Money, substances, fame, cars, friends, careers, our spouses, our kids. They don’t fit. But we try to make them fit. Then we look around and wonder why we are miserable. We are miserable because we are trying to make a square block fit in to a round hole.

When it comes to the creation, the Creator was clever. He made you almost whole. But he left one piece out. And made sure that it was only in the shape of Him. After all, He did say He made us in His image.

So if you are in a place where you can’t figure out why you are miserable, apathetic, sad, frustrated, lonely, full of anxiety… it may be that you still need to fill that void with the right shape. If you will just give up trying the other things, that don’t seem to be working, and fill your void with the shape of God, you will find that there’s peace and relaxation in this. Try it. What do you have to lose?    

Posted on

Still the Greatest Show on Earth

Why is America the greatest country on earth?

In the opening scene of the pilot episode of The Newsroom, a student asks Jeff Daniel’s character that question, His answer, in short, was, “It’s not, but it could be.” In part, I agree. In part, I don’t. Let me explain.

He was referring to certain statistics in his response. Primarily education statistics. He is correct about where the US ranks in education against other developed countries. It’s not good. However, I have stated for some time now that I firmly believe social intelligence far outweighs academic intelligence in the US. When you apply both, you see a few things.

Our country was founded on the idea that there had yet to be a form of government that wasn’t completely tyrannical. The founders saw that it had become so easy to do when the primary governmental leaders, mainly the monarchy, was in close collaboration with the church. There simply was no such thing as a country that did not also have an established religion. To break up that tyranny, they set out to establish a country with no set religion. They also put in place a series of rules for the government that forces the government to be severely restricted. That document is called the US Constitution. It was designed to restrict the government. They also gave a powerful voice to the people so that the rule was not coming from tyrannical leaders sitting in high places, but rather from the people on the ground.

When looking at our nation’s past, you also see slavery. This deplorable, peculiar institution was definitely a stain on an otherwise brilliant endeavor. Many can quote stats on slavery and how bad it was. Here are some things that few quote. The first slave owner in America was a black man. The last slave owner in America was a native American man. The last slave was released on June 14th, 1866, not June 19th, 1865. June 19th represents the last day a white man had a slave but not the last slave that was released. Slavery in other countries lasted at least hundreds of years. In England, it had already been in place for at least 400 years before arriving to what is now called America. American slavery lasted 89 years. So while it is a nasty past, we came a long way and did it quicker than other nations. We have a history of awful wrongdoings, but also fixing those issues and moving forward.  

America is still the primary destination for those seeking a better life than where they are. There is a massive problem on the Mexican border because WE ARE THAT GOOD. We still live by and uphold that every person has the right to PURSUE happiness. They don’t have the right to happiness. They have the right to the pursuit of happiness. We live by the idea that each person can subscribe to the religion of their choice, or no religion at all.

Free speech means no one can demand that certain words come out of your mouth. This applies to both self-incrimination and your pronouns. If I choose to call you by preferred pronouns, I’m being cordial. But that free speech thing protects me from having to call you anything.

That second amendment is just in case they (tyrannical government) try to take the first one away. Learning from history is important. Past history and recent history. Past history will show you that Hitler disarmed Germany “for the good of the people.” We see how that worked out. In recent history, Australia disarmed their people. Then when covid came around, they forced everyone to stay in their houses. The people had no recourse for such tyranny. They were stuck.

This country still gives you the right to live where you want to live, go where you want to go, and do what you want to do, as long as it doesn’t infringe on someone else’s individual rights and freedoms. Check out these financial stats:

  • If you have $61,000 in assets, you are among the richest 10% adults on earth.
  • If you earn $25,000 or more, you are in the top 10% of the world’s income earners.
  • If you earn $50,000 or more, you are in the top 1% of the world’s income earners.   

We have now had our first black president of the US. We have story after story of people fleeing places like Cuba, Venezuela, Columbia, Guatemala, Russia, and the list goes on… with a hope for a better life. And their hard work, gifts, and talents lead them to sufficient success. If this country is so bad, why is the rest of the world trying to get in?

The answer is simple. We are still the greatest country on earth. No, we are not perfect. No one will ever be. And no, a republic hierarchy is not a perfect system. But it is the least bad system ever created in the history of mankind. A republic that gives the little man a voice. A republic that is built to deter tyranny. We are in danger of losing this status. This is point of my book, America’s Greatest Threat: America. But as it stands, Americans live in the greatest country on earth.

Posted on

The Content of My Character

The 1960’s were a wild time. Black people in America were still being treated as subhuman. Black children were still being told the most interesting and repulsive thing about them was the color of their skin.

Picture this scenario… A teacher had separated the class by color. Black kids were on one side and white kids were on the other. One child hears her teacher say, “You can’t sit there. That’s reserved for the children that don’t look like you.” She already knows she can’t drink from the same water fountain. She can’t sit at the same lunch table. Now the teacher is making sure she knows that she’s being judged by the color of her skin over her personal qualities that make her unique. And in the great words of Jake Tyler Brigance (Matthew McConaughey), “Now imagine… she’s white.”

I’m fully convinced that if MLK Jr was alive today, he would be repulsed at the idea of segregating people (especially children) by the color of their skin. He would be disgusted at the idea of judging someone’s morality and intent by what color their skin is. My statement is based on his own words.

I truly can’t imagine any non-racist free thinker believing that a person’s skin color is more important than who they are as a person, how they treat others, and their contribution to society and the free market.

I also can’t imagine thinking that the answer to wrongs from one group over 200 years ago towards another is to enact those wrongs towards the descendants of that group. There is no good outcome of this. Not one good thing can possibly happen by enforcing policies on a group of people based on things that happened 200 years ago.

Anytime one group is oppressed, it leads to revolution. The oppressed group will only stand by for so long before they’ve had enough of wrongful oppression. We saw this with women’s suffrage. With the Supreme Court decision in 2015 to federalize gay marriage. The groups had enough and fought until they had equal rights. This applies to any “group”. If you oppress them, they will fight back.

As you can see above, the goal of CRT goes directly against the goal of Martin Luther King Jr. One was helpful. One is not.


We have to implement systems that refuse to oppress anyone and allow for equality of opportunity with the full knowledge that it will NOT lead to quality of outcome. The obvious reason for this is because some will take the opportunity and some will watch it pass by. Individual responsibility is the cornerstone of any great society.

Reading history is 100% free. And learning from it is an opportunity that some will take and some will pass by and be destined to repeat. Marxism as a core beliefs system revealed the effects of one group of people having too much power and thus globally racked up a body count of almost 100 million people. Even the most devout followers saw the error of its ways. Thomas Sowell was one of them. He now sees how that was a terrible idea. We must learn from history.

The Holocaust didn’t happen overnight. It was a series of changes that were made over time like: segregating people into groups, taking guns away from citizens “for their own safety”, propaganda given through media and controlled by the government, supporting groups who shame other groups that they disagree with. Sound familiar?

Not knowing you have an enemy gives the enemy the automatic win. Sitting silent is not an option for those that want to live and thrive in a free country. Understand that, right now, Marxism (that includes CRT and the destruction of the nuclear family) is your enemy. What will you do about it?

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

Posted on

Deconstructing Deconstructionism: Part 2- The Fruit

One day, years ago, one of my leaders in basketball officiating said to me, “You will always know whether your technical foul was a good one or a bad one by what happens directly after.” He was right. If it was a good one, the game regained a sense of order. If it was not a good technical foul, the game went further into chaos. This was the “fruits” of my decisions.

(Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim reacts to having a technical foul called on him by official Roger Ayers during the second half of an NCAA college basketball game against Louisville Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2020, in Louisville, Ky. Louisville won 90-66. (AP Photo/Wade Payne))

One of the many problems with deconstruction is that it focuses on “ME.” The entire Bible spends its time focusing on turning away from ME and towards GOD.

“Your ways are higher.” Isaiah 55:8-9

“to myself, I die daily.” 1 Corinthians 15:31

“Not MY will be done but YOURS.” Luke 22:42

And on and on it goes. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. Taking the scripture seriously is a good thing. Going as deep as you can to get as close to God a possible is a good thing. However, in my examination of deconstructionism, I find that it consists of many people who have been mistreated by those in the church. I also find a pattern of those who truly believe they are of superior intelligence. And yet another definite pattern is a justification to live exactly how they want. Subsequently, you have the blind leading the blind. Having said that, one only has to look at fruits to determine whether this movement is a good thing or not.

The most disturbing pattern I’ve found among those deep into deconstructionism is that they stop going to church. After all, Jesus didn’t go to church. And church is a socially constructed way to control the masses, right? Wrong. Here’s what I know about church (for more on this, see the series I did on church, part 1 HERE and part 2 HERE). The man on the cross next to Jesus had never been to church. Yet he went to heaven. So church doesn’t save you. However, I also know that mountains of research studies show that community is necessary to remain socially relevant, prevent from going insane, preventing isolation, and helping provide the sustenance needed to survive this lifetime. Those studies show that isolation is what always precedes suicide. That community is what cures depression and prevents it from coming back. That service is the other component that fights depression and anxiety. All of this is found in a church.

The best form of community available in America is the church. Because it is based on an eternal foundation. The people there love you because you are human and no other qualification is needed. And without community, your proclivity for depression, anxiety, and suicide go way up. There are tons of studies on this.

So what are the fruits? Ceasing to attend the church you once loved attending and questioning God’s existence. Yet another deception by the enemy. In order to steal, kill, and destroy, he must get you isolated. Deconstructionism is the newest way for the enemy to do that.  If the enemy can get you to stop going to church, you give up community and thereby become isolated. In isolation the enemy can begin to tell you lies that you will believe. And many are currently falling for it.

Remember what Matthew 7:15-20 says, 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.”

I hope I deconstructed that well enough. I mean, I ain’t that smart!

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger

Posted on

Deconstructing Deconstructionism: Part 1- The Argument

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages… I’d like to introduce you to the newest craze. It’s the newest trend. Deconstructionism! It used to be atheism. Then it was agnosticism. Now it’s deconstructionism.

The superiorly intelligent have found new and creative ways to justify their positions on their carnal desires while realizing that they sound stupid for believing in nothing. That’s where atheism went wrong. You have to be relying fully on the faith in nothing or be blindingly stupid to believe there is no higher being at all.

Then agnosticism came. So there’s a higher being somewhere. Maybe it’s us. Maybe its nature. Maybe it’s the 90% of our brain that we don’t use. But we didn’t just get here from nothing with all of our complications and intricacies. So there’s something. We just can’t put our finger on what that is.

So we believe this God thing is probably for real. Our parents told us so. But I don’t want to just believe what my parents said. I need to find out for myself. So far, this sounds like a responsible endeavor. Because my faith cannot be my parents’ faith. It must belong to me, or I have no faith at all.

Let’s take a quick detour. I am a big fan of basketball. And I would like to dismantle basketball and its rules to justify my inability to be able to compete with those in the NBA. So I’d like to change the rules so that I can experience the possibility of a great outcome, like a championship. So the rules are subjective now. I want them to mean that you can’t touch me or get within 5 feet of me once I say I’m uncomfortable. Then I’ll be able to score and achieve greatness and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

This, ladies and gentleman, is the beautiful deceptive art of deconstructionism. Let’s take every scripture and “deconstruct” it to its simplest form. Then when we put it back together, let’s make it mean what we want to because it makes more sense to us in our super intelligent, creative, and emotional brains. After all, so much of what is in the Bible doesn’t make sense. And rather than attempt to understand it in its context and see what God was trying to say, I’d rather just make it mean what I’M trying to say. I mean, it’s been translated so many times, who knows what it really says. It’s all subjective.

What is an example of this? There are many. I’ll give you a couple. Deconstructionism will tell you that 1 Timothy 2:12 is a misunderstood verse. They will posit that there should be more female pastors in America. Another one is that there are many variations of translations of the Bible and one can’t trust the whole book to be true at its core, but must be dissected… by them! Interesting. It’s not enough that it has been dissected before they were born. Nope. They are smarter than those before them.

So let’s tackle those along with an examination of the fruits of deconstructionism. In 1 Timothy 2:12 is says, 12 “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” Yes, it has been mistranslated by some to mean that a woman cannot speak in church at all at any time. That is false. With a closer look, one would see that “quiet” is directed back to the issue of authority. There are plenty of verses that suggest that women are to help others. There are plenty of verses that show women teaching and helping many, men and women alike. However, when it comes to the authority of the assembly, church, that office is designed for men. That was God’s designation.

Also, don’t forget 1 Timothy 3:2, 2 “Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.” Some versions say one wife. But “His wife” implies one person. This will be very hard for a woman to accomplish. Yet it is one of the qualifications for being an elder or a pastor.

The Temple Scroll, from the Dead Sea Scrolls found at Qumran (Photo by VCG Wilson/Corbis via Getty Images).

Well what about the Bible being translated too many times? I’m glad you asked. The first original scrolls were found to have been scribed around 895 A.D. Around 1000 A.D. there were more scrolls found. And in 1948, a boy was chasing after a goat who ran into a cave and found another set of original scrolls that were found to have been scribed around 200 B.C.! Interestingly, the three scrolls were compared, and they were found to be completely and unequivocally identical. There were zero differences. They were also found to be identical to the first translation of the Bible into English. There were so many requirements the scribes had to meet and were so were meticulous. Things like, each line had to be exactly thirty letters, and there had to be an exact amount of lines in a column. Also, if a scribe got to the end of the Torah (the first 5 books of the Bible) and it did not end in an exact line of thirty letters, they did not follow the demands and had to throw it away and start over. This is how the scrolls from 200 B.C. MATCHED the 1000 A.D. scrolls (check that out here, how we got the OLD and NEW testaments). But you already knew that. You’re smarter than everyone you know, remember?

That’s a very brief overview of deconstructionism, from what I’ve gathered so far. Next we will talk about the fruits that it yields… go to Deconstructing Deconstructionism: Part 2- The Fruit.

Stay Classy GP!

Grainger