In December of 2015, the New York Times released an article after following a group of 85-year-old people for a year. What they concluded was that it was certain what mattered to them was laughter. They spent “no wasted time on anger and worry.” They were quoted as saying “with old age, I listen a little more.”
What did matter to them was The 4 L’s: Life, Laughter, Listening, and Love. Notice what did not matter to them; none mentioned a thing about current events, politics, donkeys or elephants. Only life, laughter, listening, and love.
I’ve learned that I have no control over what someone does in the White House. I have no control over what they do in the Tennessee capital. I have no control over what happens in the Sumner County sessions. The closest thing I have to control is a vote. And I use that to the best of my ability. After that, it’s out of my control.
Think back before covid. Who did you go to concerts with? Who did you have dinner with? Who did you hang out with, double dates, play dates with kids? Remember when it didn’t matter how they voted?
What’s changed? Boredom and Social media. And a lack of pursuit of the things that matter. We’ve turned our focus away from the friends that make us laugh at dinner and decided they’re no longer dinner-worthy because they dislike Trump. Or they’re no longer someone you want to go to a concert with anymore simply because they don’t like Biden. Think about it, do these politicians know who you are? Do they care? Debatable.
Boredom. Covid put us in a place where we were in search of something to do. People were playing the stock market that had never done so before. There were no sports. This was the closest thing to it.
One thing that is stoking opinionated fires needlessly that not many are mentioning is social media. Social media has unintentionally, yet successfully driven a wedge in our relationships while trying to bring them closer together. How could that be?
Originally, it was meant to bring people together. Family that didn’t live close by could keep in touch. People would be positively reaffirmed with “likes”. But it was free. They had to make money. So the social media platforms sold data on what people were clicking on and watching- the algorithm. In order for them to make money, you had to stay on your phone. In order for that to happen, they put things in front of you they knew you’d like and agree with. Algorithms again.
You kept feeding their data machine and they kept sending you things you liked and agreed with. The more you watched, the more money they made. Little did they, or you, know that the things they were putting in your face were creating total political polarization.
So now we’re willing to lose friends, people we’ve been doing life with, over things we can’t control. That’s how ridiculous this has gotten. It’s gotten so out of control that an idea about something you have no control over, an opinion, is driving wedges in families, friends, communities.
There has to be a point when we realize it’s just not worth it. That whether I back the blue or believe Black Lives Matter, or manage to believe both has no effect on the years of closeness I’ve had with someone prior to this social media experiment.
I seriously doubt we’ll be 85 saying “I’m so happy I ended that 20-year friendship over my opinion on a police department in Wisconsin.” That just won’t happen. We’ll wake up with so much regret we won’t be able to function. We must get to a place where we focus on what matters: Life, Laughing, Listening, and Love.
Stay Classy GP!
Grainger