{"id":857,"date":"2024-05-18T15:17:48","date_gmt":"2024-05-18T21:17:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/?p=857"},"modified":"2024-05-21T09:31:22","modified_gmt":"2024-05-21T15:31:22","slug":"shame-on-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2024\/05\/18\/shame-on-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Shame on You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I can remember as a kid, we went to Showbiz pizza. It was basically a Chuck E. Cheese. I was probably around 7 years old. I go to the bathroom. As I\u2019m about to walk out, a woman walks in. I look at her, with full confidence and say, \u201cYou’re in the wrong bathroom. This is the boys.\u201d She said, \u201cNo, it\u2019s not. Check the sign.\u201d I looked at the sign and to my horror, it said \u201cLadies.\u201d And to make it worse, there were some kids I didn\u2019t know nearby and saw the whole thing. They started laughing at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I then knew what it felt like to be shamed. Shamed for going into the wrong bathroom. No, this is not a blog about Target. I avoided that meaningless nonsense altogether. If you don\u2019t know which bathroom to go in, we don\u2019t have much to talk about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Throughout life, I\u2019ve seen people be shamed repeatedly. Sometimes it\u2019s warranted. Like when they knowingly committed an awful crime and are only sorry that they got caught. Shame should be the reaction. But most of the time, it is not warranted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When birth control was invented, improved, and became affordable, this caused more women to be able to enter the workplace. And, as predicted, many men had an issue with this. And also predictably, these women were shamed for not wanting to stay home. The problem here was that those that were shaming them for wanting to go to work were not aware of their daily issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All of this took place in the 1960\u2019s. Birth control. More women entering the workplace. And men becoming more and more absent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Originally, men being absent had a real reason, the war. Whether it was WWII or the Vietnam War. But this wasn\u2019t even the worst of it. President Johnson read a report called the Moynihan Report and made a drastic response to it. President Johnson then proceeded to incentivize single mothers for being single mothers. These women would get more money and not have to work as long as they had children and had no man in the home. So they had as many children as they thought they could handle. The results were staggering, yet also somewhat predictable. There was an explosion of babies that grew up not knowing their fathers. But if you thought this only affected the black community, wrong. Prior to this policy, 8% of white babies were born to single mother homes and 25% of black babies were born to single mother homes. After this policy, white families born to single mothers rose to 25% and black babies born to single mothers rose to 75%. They both TRIPLED. And here you have the beginning of the epidemic of fatherless homes. Crime statisticians had plenty to do following this radical response to a report.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a result of this, mothers were left to figure this out on their own. So with birth control becoming an affordable option within reach of almost any woman that wanted it, they were now able to go and work and not try to rely on the man, who would often use their position of breadwinner as a power play to mistreat their wife. The shaming began\u2026 by who? Men. Towards who? Working women. The very men that were walking out on their families were shaming women for bettering themselves. For obvious reasons. They were losing power.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Following the American Revolution, Abigail Adams wrote to her husband, John Adams, and said, \u201cIn the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.\u201d To which the future President of the United States replied, \u201cWe know better than to repeal our Masculine systems.\u201d Of course men were furious at women working more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Thus began the nonstop shame. Working women were ridiculed everywhere. Eventually, there were more female lawyers, more female representation than male in almost any university in America, and more men ditching their responsibilities than ever before. At some point, the table turned completely. Women began meeting men that were staying home and taking on their duties as husband and father. Men were providing, but not abusing. They were protecting but not dictating. They were directional but loving. This new man was something women longed for but hadn\u2019t seen in a while, if ever. But he came along and caused many women to simply want to be a mother and housewife.<\/p>\n\n\n

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I read the transcripts from Harrison Butker. He\u2019s a Catholic, speaking at a Catholic school, about Catholic issues. To expect anything other than that is very delusional. The response from the \u201cLove is Love\u201d crowd was anything but loving. Having said that, I don\u2019t agree with his stance on IVF or birth control. But I also didn\u2019t raise hell about his speech. Because Catholics all have the same stance on birth control and IVF. But in the flip of a switch, the shaming that once was abhorrent to society, was now ok as long as it was aimed at women who wanted to stay home and be wife and mother. This cannot be ok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Shaming a woman for being a working woman, CEO, Attorney, (insert any career here) is uncool, self-righteous, and just mean. Along with that, shaming women for wanting to be a wife and mother only is equally as wrong. It is just as noble to want to make a lot of memories with your children as it is to make a lot of money for your family. So when Butker applauded the women for their accomplishments and also, at the same time, acknowledged that some of them may end up wanting to stay at home, there was literally nothing wrong with this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And what was America\u2019s response? Butker’s women\u2019s jerseys are sold out. Apparently, they really do want to be a wife and mother as long as they have a man that will handle the other stuff and not be abusive along the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leave the shame out. Let people be who they are. Even when (especially when) you don\u2019t agree with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stay Classy GP!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grainger<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can remember as a kid, we went to Showbiz pizza. It was basically a Chuck E. Cheese. I was probably around 7 years old. I go to the bathroom. As I\u2019m about to walk out, a woman walks in. I look at her, with full confidence and say, \u201cYou’re in the wrong bathroom. This … <\/p>\n

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