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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nI get these calls all the time in the insurance business. The wife calls to tell me that we need to split her and her husband into separate policies because they are going through a divorce. The situation is almost predictable. They are in their mid to late 40\u2019s to mid 50\u2019s and their youngest kid went off to college. I\u2019m telling you that I get that call more than once a month. How can this be? How can that many people be divorcing after that many years?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nUnfortunately the answer is quite simple. They put so much time, effort, and importance on their children that they never took time to cultivate their own relationship. As a result, they look up at each other and don\u2019t even recognize the person they\u2019re married to. They forgot that all relationships require time and effort, even their marital relationship. It\u2019s not something you can just take for granted. Because if you do, you\u2019ll be calling your insurance agent asking to separate the policies. You\u2019ll be trying to explain to your grown children why thanksgivings will never be like they were. And they will begin thinking that they were the cause. If they wouldn\u2019t have gone to college, maybe this wouldn\u2019t have happened. Believe me, just because they\u2019re older and wiser doesn\u2019t exclude them from the internal belief that a divorce is their fault. It happens to all children, no matter the age. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how do we eliminate Empty Nest Divorces? It\u2019s not easy, but here are some steps. First, date nights must be priority. Once every 2 weeks is ideal. Once a week is too hard to accomplish and once a month may not be enough. This is top level priority. You don\u2019t cancel, you don\u2019t \u201ccome back to it.\u201d You go. Go somewhere. Don\u2019t spend money if you don\u2019t want to. But go. Get out of the house and spend quality time together, with NO children around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Having said that, the most important thing you can do to avoid an empty nest divorce is to keep your children Third<\/u><\/em> in your life. Your life must reflect God\u2019s design for living. In God\u2019s design, you should have no gods before Him. Also in His design, what He put together, let NO man (mankind) separate. This includes your children. So based on that, your first relationship priority is your relationship with God. Your second relationship priority is your relationship with your spouse. That means that your relationship with your children comes after <\/u><\/em>that. For more on priorities in relationships, click HERE<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your children simply were not designed to be that important in your life. They were designed to learn from you and you being there for them to prepare them to \u201cLeave mother and father and cling to one another.\u201d Your children weren\u2019t meant to be placed in a position where they are more important than your spouse. But if they become more important than your spouse, your spouse becomes a stranger to you. You grow separately and because you grow separately, you are in different areas of life. You have to grow together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But is it really that serious? Is it really that rampant? How many people is this actually happening to? Glad you asked (ok, I know you didn\u2019t ask, work with me here). In 2015, for every 1,000 married persons ages 50+, 10 divorced, which is up from 5 in 1990, according to data from the National Center for Health Statistics and U.S. Census Bureau. Among those ages 65+, the divorce rate has nearly tripled since 1990, reaching 6 people per 1,000 married persons in 2015. With the surge in divorces for those 50+, the empty nest puts couples at higher risk for divorce than ever before. So yes, it\u2019s kind of a big deal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So for those that have a chance to reverse this trend, please work on it. Your children will thank you; your spouse will thank you. Date your spouse. Don\u2019t neglect that. Keep your children third. Then, when that last kid gets moved into college, you can look at each other and say, \u201cnow we can REALLY have some fun!\u201d Life only gets better as you grow closer to your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Stay Classy GP!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grainger<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The last kid is moved into college and the parents are back at home. The very next thing that happens is the husband and wife look at each other as if they\u2019re looking at a stranger. The husband says, \u201cwho are you and how did you get into my house?\u201d The wife says, \u201cI was … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/relationship-priorities-pic-2.jpg\")
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