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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nJeff could sense that I had poured myself in to this\nprofession and did everything I could to be better than the game before. But\nthose around me at the high school level didn\u2019t seem to have the same desire.\nHe began to ask me questions about these refs. \u201cWhen was the last time you\nasked these refs about their lives. Where they work. Are they married? Any\nkids?\u201d I did not see his point at first. To those that know me, this isn\u2019t\ncoming as a shock. He told me to start asking these questions when I was in the\nlocker room before a game. He then told me to get the first name of the\nbookkeeper and the first name of the clock keeper of every game I officiated.\nHe assured me these things would help my games go smoother and my frustration\nwould decrease significantly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I could not, for the life of me, figure out why it mattered\nwhether they were married or not and what it had to do with being a good ref.\nNot knowing why, and thinking he sounded a little crazy, I did what he\nsuggested anyway. And when I did, everything changed. EVERYTHING.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Each game, as I sat down in the locker room with the other\nrefs, I began to ask these questions. And each time, I began to learn more\nabout them. I began to become closer friends with them. I began to like them\nmore. Understand them more. Then when they made a bad call, it wasn\u2019t a big\ndeal anymore. Because I understood who they were. And it superseded what they\nwere doing on the court. I also started getting the names of the bookkeeper and\nclock keeper and my games started getting smoother and smoother. Why would it\nmatter that I call them by first name? Because when I needed them and called\nthem by their first name, there was an immediate friendship\/relationship and\nthey quickly wanted to help me\u2026 because we were friends now. It was about the\nrelationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I became friends with another ref during all of this. We\u2019ll\ncall him \u201cJosh\u201d. I told him about the paradigm shift I had. He just chuckled at\nme. One night, I had a game with Josh and he had a family medical emergency. He\nhad just begun working for the assigner and called me to ask what to do. I\nadvised him that the assigner was a good guy and would understand and to call\nhim right away. I went to the game with the replacement ref. Afterwards, on my\nway home, I called Josh to ask how everything was. He told me his situation was\ngoing to be fine. He thanked me for asking then said, \u201cYou really are taking\nthis new approach seriously!\u201d I told him that if I\u2019m learning anything, it\u2019s that\nofficiating isn\u2019t about just the sport. In fact, it isn\u2019t primarily about the\nsport. It\u2019s about the relationships. It\u2019s about the camaraderie. It\u2019s about\nbeing in a battle and the only friends you have are the ones with the stripes\non. He and I became better friends after that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So my \u201cwhy\u201d began to get clearer. Why do I officiate? Why\nwould anyone sign up to be yelled at, belittled and berated on a nightly basis?\nThe answer is simple, the relationships. Someone asked me why I started writing\nblogs. I felt it was something God told me to do. My wife concurred with that\nbelief. She would push me to write when\nI didn\u2019t want to. The last blog I wrote, I put on to social media and it got\nONE\u2026 1 like. So why would I keep writing? The relationship I have with God.\nIt\u2019s about his people. Not how good or bad I may write. I may write a terrible\nblog, and those around me know me. They understand who I am and, all of the\nsudden, it isn\u2019t a big deal that I suck at writing. Okay, maybe I don\u2019t suck\nall the time. Haha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/why-ref-1-1-1024x942.jpg\")
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