First, we have to work on perspective. Recently, I saw a post on Facebook of this cartoon picture of a kid asking the meaning of life and the mother saying \u201cyou\u201d. While I get the idea that the child is so precious and awesome, and it was a cute picture, the reality is that isn\u2019t even close to the truth. The meaning of life has nothing to do with children. It\u2019s simple. To have an ongoing relationship with God through Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less. But how do children fit in to that? That\u2019s where proper perspective comes in. They. Are. Not. Ours. Our children DO NOT belong to us. They are God\u2019s. We are just to be good stewards of them and prepare them to launch into the world to have their own relationship with God through Jesus. Not to be their friend. Ever. Here\u2019s why that\u2019s important. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nOne of the best things you can ever do for a child is make him\/her 3rd<\/sup> in your life. (God, spouse, children, in that order- refer to a previous blog called “Relationship Priorities<\/a>” for details on that). He needs to know that he\u2019s not that important. ALL children need to know that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Another reason this perspective is important is that if you\nunderstand that the child is not yours, then you don\u2019t feel the need to elevate\nhim higher in priority than he should be. That this is temporary. That he\u2019s\ngoing to be out in the world and you\u2019re going to hope you did enough to prepare\nhim for the crazy world we live in. That he shouldn\u2019t feel the pressure of\nbeing #1 in your life. He\/She should be allowed to be 3rd<\/sup>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another reason this perspective is important: if you come to\nan understanding that your child belongs to God and that you are merely being a\ngood steward of God\u2019s child, preparing him to launch in to a world where he has\nhis own relationship with God through Jesus, then it causes you to want to have\nthe best relationship with God that you can. Because his relationship with God\nis going to look exactly like yours, whatever that means. Good, bad or absent.\nAlso, side note, his view of God will be his view of his dad (or father figure)<\/a>. If his dad (or father figure) is\nloving, the child\u2019s view of God will be loving. If he\u2019s negligent, his view\nwill be that God is absent and negligent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Decision making should increase with age and maturity.\nLetting a 4-year-old determine where you go to church or eat is sending a\nterrible signal. Letting a child not eat dinner then eat whatever they want\nfrom the fridge, another terrible signal. My options were, eat what mom cooked\nor starve. If you\u2019ve seen me, you know I didn\u2019t starve. Haha. By the way, kids\ncan go to bed hungry. It won\u2019t kill them. They can also fall down and scrape\ntheir knees. It\u2019s ok. It builds their immune system. We have too many parents\nputting their kids in bubble wrap so they don\u2019t get hurt by anything. Let them\nget hurt. It makes them stronger. More about decision making\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n At age 14, you can\u2019t drive a car at all. At age 15, you can\nbut not alone. At age 16, you can drive alone but you can\u2019t vote. At age 18,\nyou can vote but you can\u2019t buy a glass of wine. At age 21, you can buy a glass\nof wine, but you can\u2019t rent a car. At age 25 you can rent a car. Even the\nfederal and state governments, who rarely get things right, understand that\nwith age comes more decision making, freedom and responsibility. With each\nbirthday, let your child make decisions on something new. But remember, your\njob is to make decisions for them when they clearly can\u2019t make good ones on\ntheir own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A child needs to know that what he wants isn\u2019t that\nimportant. Not nearly as important as his obedience. He needs to know that. The\nonly thing that is important is obedience to you and the adults with authority\nin his life. You speak, he listens. If he doesn\u2019t listen the first time,\nthere\u2019s an immediate consequence. Every time. Quick story about that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone I knew of years ago had a kid that never listened\nuntil she got in his face and yelled for the 10th<\/sup> time. One day, he\ngoes after a ball that went into the street. She yelled from the front porch to\ncome back. Naturally, because he never listened before, he didn\u2019t listen this\ntime either. The boy ran in to the street and got hit by a car. He was 9. It\nwrecked her because she knew it was because she never made him listen the first\ntime. Every child needs to be taught to listen the very first time. It\u2019s hard\nand requires intense consistency, but it\u2019s imperative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, the single mother epidemic is another struggle in parenting and the struggle is real. From a single mother\u2019s perspective, this is tough. Because the dad is supposed to teach him to listen and correct him when he doesn\u2019t, and the mom is supposed to console him while reiterating and reinforcing what the dad just taught. But a single mom sometimes has to be both. Believe me, I\u2019m fully convinced that single moms have a special place in heaven and will jump to the front of the line in the awesome stuff heaven will have to offer. One thing about all children is, they want instructions and boundaries. But they\u2019ll never be able to tell you that. But the core of who they are loves the safety in boundaries. We have to set those. That\u2019s what we\u2019ll discuss in part 2 of this blog. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Stay Classy GP!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grainger<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" All of us believe we are good parents. And to a degree, we are all right about that. We are doing the best we can. We\u2019re doing the best with what we know. But what if we could know more? What if we admitted we weren\u2019t the perfect parent? Is there room to learn? If … <\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/discipline.png\")
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