{"id":284,"date":"2019-07-30T23:25:05","date_gmt":"2019-07-30T23:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/?p=284"},"modified":"2019-08-02T20:21:17","modified_gmt":"2019-08-02T20:21:17","slug":"the-blended-bunch-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2019\/07\/30\/the-blended-bunch-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The Blended Bunch (part 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

So we\ncovered the array of emotions and difficulties children go through when\nattempting to blend a family. But what about the spouses? They\u2019re trying to\nbuild a new life together. They\u2019re still figuring out whether they can deal\nwith the fact that he squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube\ninstead of the end. She pulls the toilet paper from the back. He sleeps with\nthe fan on. She likes the TV on when she sleeps. Adults have enough on their\nplate before we even get in to the conversation of children. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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To fully understand the biblical priorities, please refer to an earlier blog I wrote called \u201cRelationship Priorities<\/a>\u201d. It covers the 5 relationships we have and the order in which they are to be prioritized. In that, you\u2019ll find spouses 2nd<\/sup> and children 3rd<\/sup>. In blended families, they have to be navigated very carefully. There are two different scenarios to think about: before<\/em><\/strong> you marry someone with kids and after<\/em><\/strong> you have married someone with kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BEFORE<\/strong>: I know that in my experience, one\nof the things that was going to determine whether I could marry Jennifer or not\nwas her kids. If I didn\u2019t like her kids, I wasn\u2019t going to like her. It turns\nout that she has great kids. They are all smart and have great potential to\nchange this world one heart at a time. They all have big hearts. This is\nimportant. If you want someone so bad that you\u2019re willing to put up with kids\nyou can\u2019t stand, you may need to reevaluate your reasons for wanting that\nperson. I can promise you that if it\u2019s for money or any other tangible asset,\nit\u2019s just not worth the financial gain. You will continue to be miserable on\nthe inside. This wealthy man\/woman can\u2019t fix that. Promise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another\nthing I\u2019ve found is that if you aren\u2019t ok with being single, you won\u2019t be ok\nwith being married. Singleness is vital to a healthy marriage. As I\u2019m typing\nthis, my wife is on her way to hang out with girlfriends. An insecure, overly\nco-dependent man would attempt to forbid this. I\u2019m encouraging it for a few\nreasons. One, I want the same encouragement when I hang with my guys. Two, it\u2019s\nthe right thing to do. Three, away time is a good thing. You read that right. A\nGOOD thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This\nconversation was something Jennifer and I understood well before we decided to\nmarry or even date. She loved my daughters. I loved her kids. I haven\u2019t always\nbeen crazy about her kids. She hasn\u2019t always been crazy about my girls. But at\nthe core, they\u2019re good kids and we are a family. Albeit a jacked up, crazy, loud,\ndiverse family\u2026 we\u2019re still a family. But if I didn\u2019t love her kids and she\ndidn\u2019t love my daughters, we wouldn\u2019t have lasted a year. Maybe not even that\nlong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

AFTER<\/strong>: So there you are, in a new\nrelationship where you love the other person but aren\u2019t really sure about their\nkid(s)\u2026 You\u2019ll want to figure that out before you go another step. First, check\nyour heart. Decide what it is about their kids you don\u2019t like. Then decide if\nit\u2019s something you can work through and\/or get over, even if they don\u2019t change.\nBut if you decide to despise their kids the entire time you\u2019re married, one of\ntwo things will happen. Either your marriage will greatly suffer and eventually\nend from the negative rhetoric or you will find that eventually their children\nwant nothing to do with them. Both are vastly tragic. Your children need you.\nTheir children need them. Now more than ever! Your spouse needs you. In a\nblended family, the spouse needs proper attention, but the children need more\nattention. The adults have to be adults and understand that until there is an\nacceptance of a new normal, they\u2019ll need as much time as they need to\nreacclimate. There\u2019s no deadline on this. You can\u2019t be impatient (like I was).\nYou can\u2019t push the issue (like I did). You have to be very patient with every\nchild and their unwillingness to adapt. Eventually they will. But regardless,\nadults have to be adults. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What we\ncan\u2019t do is divide and conquer. Division in a home will always lead to\nvulnerability, which leads to a welcomed attack from the enemy, which will end\nthe relationship. It just can\u2019t stand divided. In Matthew 12:25, Jesus says\nthis very thing. How important is it that the house is united?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I once heard\nthe story of Bob Mumford taking his seat on an airplane. He soon finds that he\nis seated next to a high priest in the satanic church. So he strikes up a\nconversation. During their conversation, the thing that stood out the most was\nthis comment from the high priest in the satanic church, \u201cWe have goals, but\nour number one goal, by far, is to remove the fathers from the homes. If we can\ndo that, the family will destruct and make our mission that much easier.\u201d THAT\nis how important fathers and family unity are. Even the enemy recognizes it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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So check\nyourself. Look inward. Because the children need a united front. And blended\nchildren need more than that. These children deserve to have love, direction\nand guidance from a parent and a bonus parent that loves them. If you\u2019ll commit\nto work at this and not give up, the blessings are immeasurable \u2026And that\u2019s how\nthey became the Blended Bunch!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stay Classy GP! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grainger <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So we covered the array of emotions and difficulties children go through when attempting to blend a family. But what about the spouses? They\u2019re trying to build a new life together. They\u2019re still figuring out whether they can deal with the fact that he squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube instead of … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “The Blended Bunch (part 2)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0},"categories":[4,5],"tags":[35,36,37],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":295,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284\/revisions\/295"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}