{"id":1193,"date":"2026-03-10T06:50:00","date_gmt":"2026-03-10T12:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/?p=1193"},"modified":"2026-03-03T11:21:30","modified_gmt":"2026-03-03T17:21:30","slug":"the-dirty-s-word","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2026\/03\/10\/the-dirty-s-word\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dirty \u201cS\u201d Word"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2><em>Reclaiming a Biblical Concept the Modern World Can\u2019t Stand<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Grainger and Kelly Jackson<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dirty-s-word-pic-871x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1194\" width=\"636\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dirty-s-word-pic-871x1024.jpg 871w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dirty-s-word-pic-255x300.jpg 255w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dirty-s-word-pic-768x903.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/dirty-s-word-pic.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 636px) 100vw, 636px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__list wp-block-latest-posts\"><li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2026\/04\/21\/why-therapy-is-so-hard-for-men\/\">Why Therapy is So Hard For Men<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2026\/04\/14\/according-to-research-you-and-i-are-probably-wrong\/\">According to Research, You and I Are Probably Wrong<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2026\/04\/07\/the-diary-of-existing-beliefs\/\">The Diary of Existing Beliefs<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2026\/03\/10\/the-dirty-s-word\/\">The Dirty \u201cS\u201d Word<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a class=\"wp-block-latest-posts__post-title\" href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2026\/03\/03\/dont-throw-the-message-out-with-the-mess-ups\/\">Don\u2019t Throw the Message Out With the Mess-Ups<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Grainger is a free-thinking writer with insights on modern fatherhood, relationships, and raising emotionally healthy kids, at the crossroads of psychology and spirituality. Multiple degrees in Psychology. Husband. Father. Counselor\/Therapist.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Kelly Jackson is a Christian, wife, and mother who walked away from corporate success to follow a deeper calling. Through her work, she has supported hundreds of women through career shifts, nervous system stabilization, identity transitions, and the quiet work of legacy-building. Her mission is to help women return to what really matters in life.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Together, they bring you a difficult topic delivered at the intersection of compassionate kindness and unapologetic truth<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2>Kelly\u2019s Message to the Ladies<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Few words trigger a reaction like&nbsp;<em>submission<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Say it out loud and watch shoulders tense. For many women, it conjures images of silence, shrinking, blind obedience, power misused. It sounds like erasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And if that\u2019s what submission were,&nbsp;<em>it should be rejected<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the biblical vision of submission in marriage is not about domination or loss of agency. It is about order rooted in love, strength expressed through trust, and voluntary yielding within covenant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A brief clarification: biblical submission only makes sense within a Christian worldview. If Scripture is not authoritative to you, we may not land in the same place\u2014and that\u2019s okay. This conversation is for those willing to consider God\u2019s design on its own terms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>The Verse Everyone Quotes \u2014 And the Context They Skip<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>\u201cWives, submit to your husbands\u2026\u201d (Ephesians 5:22)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>That line rarely stands alone in Scripture, though it often does online.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>The verse immediately before it reads:<br>\u201cSubmit to one another out of reverence for Christ.\u201d (Ephesians 5:21)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Submission in marriage does not begin with wives. It begins with both husband and wife submitting themselves under Christ. Wives are called to submit within a structure where husbands are simultaneously commanded to love as Christ loved the Church.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And Christ did not dominate the Church. He died for her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>The Weight of Headship<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>\u201cHusbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.\u201d (Ephesians 5:25)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Biblical headship is not privilege. It is responsibility. It is leadership under judgment. A husband is called to lay his life down in tangible ways\u2014through protection, provision, humility, and spiritual stewardship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Any version of submission detached from sacrificial leadership is not biblical. It is distortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Scripture never authorizes a husband to demand what he refuses to embody.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>What Submission Is<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Submission is a posture, not a personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Trusting your husband\u2019s leadership when he is seeking God<\/li><li>Choosing cooperation over competition<\/li><li>Yielding preference for unity<\/li><li>Respecting the role God designed<\/li><li>Allowing yourself to be led without disappearing<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>It is&nbsp;<strong>voluntary<\/strong>, not coerced.<br><strong>Strong<\/strong>, not passive.<br><strong>Intentional<\/strong>, not automatic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Take the Proverbs 31 woman. She is not voiceless. She is wise, industrious, discerning, and respected. Her alignment does not make her small\u2014it makes her steady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>What Submission Is Not<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I want to be super clear, as I know many will be thinking about the extremes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Submission is not:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Enduring abuse<\/li><li>Obeying sin<\/li><li>Silencing legitimate concerns<\/li><li>Abdicating discernment<\/li><li>Shrinking to protect ego<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>When commanded to comply with wrongdoing, the apostles responded: \u201cWe must obey God rather than men.\u201d (Acts 5:29)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Submission never overrides obedience to God. It is not unquestioning compliance. It is not a command to tolerate harm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>Why the Word Offends Modern Culture<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In a culture that treats power as something to seize and defend, submission sounds like loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But Jesus redefined greatness:<br>\u201cWhoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.\u201d (Mark 10:43)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Christianity frames strength differently. Voluntary yielding under God is not weakness. Christ submitted to the Father\u2014and commanded storms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important to distinguish that submission becomes dangerous when demanded. But it becomes life-giving when freely offered within a marriage anchored in Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When a husband leads with humility, a wife can yield without fear. When a wife responds with respect, a husband is strengthened in leadership. Neither weaponizes Scripture. Both submit first to God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This kind of order removes rivalry. It replaces scorekeeping with trust. Marriage stops resembling a corporate ladder and begins reflecting covenant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Biblical submission does not erase women. It steadies homes. Properly understood, it does not silence wives\u2014it anchors marriages in something stronger than personal will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2>Grainger\u2019s Message to Men<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Ok fellas. You\u2019re not off the hook just because she said wives should be better at the \u201cS\u201d word. We need to be better also. First, the scripture Kelly mentioned in Ephesians 5, well, is your spouse worth dying for? Chances are you\u2019d say yes. And if so, then are you worth submitting to? That depends on the aspect of leadership that you employ. If leadership to you looks like ruling, being the boss, and instructing, then no, you\u2019re not worth submitting to. If it\u2019s servant leadership, then maybe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Reclaiming the Word Submission<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The etymology of the word submission closely translates to the words&nbsp;<em>under to send<\/em>&nbsp;or&nbsp;<em>let go<\/em>. So I submit my life to the authority of my pastor. I am under him to be sent or to let go of total control. I told him, \u201cIf you\u2019re following Jesus, I\u2019m following you.\u201d This doesn\u2019t make me inferior. Weak. Spineless. Quite the opposite. It makes me meek, strong yet in control. So submission doesn\u2019t mean your wife is weak, it means she is strong yet in control. I\u2019m not following my pastor blindly. If he tells me to shave my head and move to Waco, TX, he is on his own. I\u2019m not going. But if he leads biblically, I\u2019ll follow; I\u2019ll&nbsp;<em>submit<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>The Verse Everyone Quotes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Kelly said it well. We first submit to each other. And to the men, if you\u2019re not worth submitting to or are leading in a direction not aligned with God\u2019s word, there\u2019s no biblical validity to her staying in such abuse. So please don\u2019t try to use that against her. It won\u2019t work if someone like me, who knows the Bible in and out, is around to debunk your narcissistic tendencies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The idea here is&nbsp;<em><strong>bilateral submission<\/strong><\/em>. The wife submits (follows under to send while strong and in control or restraint) to her husband and the husband&nbsp;<em>simultaneously<\/em>&nbsp;submits to Christ, so much that he will lay his life down for her. Both must happen to be in alignment with God\u2019s will for our lives. Unilateral submission is the breeding ground for disaster. Submission to Christ looks like chasing God first, then your spouse, then leading your children, in that order. And chasing isn\u2019t passive, it\u2019s intentional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>What It Looks Like to Lead<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>So what should she submit to? Leadership implies:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>Someone is voluntarily following. If not, you\u2019re dictating.<\/li><li>You\u2019re taking someone from one place to another. If not, you\u2019re managing.<\/li><li>Leading from underneath, allowing those you lead to take credit for the everyday wins. If not, you\u2019re bossing.<\/li><li>Serving first and eating last. If not, you\u2019re insecure.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3>What It Looks Like in Everyday Life<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Initiate, Serve, Follow Through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><em>Initiate<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>Initiate&nbsp;<\/strong><\/em>getting the kids up in the mornings. Initiate getting the kids\u2019 clothes out. Initiate fixing breakfast. Initiate praying with the kids and with your wife. Initiate being on time to church. Do not wait for her to take control of these situations if you are able to initiate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><em><strong>Serve<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>Serve&nbsp;<\/strong><\/em>her. What restaurant does she want to go to? What movie does she want to watch? What would make her evening less stressful? This leads to reciprocity. Women often respond to such initiation and service in the most generous of ways. Sometimes, they don\u2019t even realize this is an innate part of them until they\u2019re given the liberty to inhabit such freedom. It starts with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><em><strong>Follow Through<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>Follow through<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;with what you say you will do. This is true for consequence, reward, or simply showing up. If you tell your children not to touch the TV and they do, and you do nothing, they have learned not to respect you and your word means nothing. Likewise, if you say you will be at their piano recital and you don\u2019t show up, they learn you don\u2019t really mean anything you say. However, if you do provide consequences, and you do show up to the recital, you are teaching them you are a man of your word, which mirrors the God we serve. He is a man of his word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If I say I\u2019ll meet you for coffee at 9 AM, and 9 AM arrives and I\u2019m not there and you haven\u2019t heard from me, you might as well call the highway patrol. I\u2019m on the side of the road somewhere. I\u2019m a man of my word 100% of the time. This applies to our spouses as well. If I say I\u2019ll get the house ready for guests, I better get it ready (to her satisfaction, not mine).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>Final Reflection<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Before moving on, consider:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><em>Ladies:<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>1. What immediate reaction does the word&nbsp;<em>submission<\/em>&nbsp;stir in you\u2014and why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2. Where might God be inviting you to release control as an act of trust and obedience?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3. How does viewing submission as a spiritual discipline\u2014not a gender deficiency\u2014shift your understanding?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4><em>Men:<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>1. What areas of your life need improvement in initiating, serving, or following through?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2. Where might God be inviting you to accept responsibility and make internal changes with external and eternal rewards?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3. How does viewing submission as a two-way street that begins with you serving her shift your understanding?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Stay Classy GP!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grainger &amp; Kelly Jackson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Reclaiming a Biblical Concept the Modern World Can\u2019t Stand Grainger and Kelly Jackson Grainger is a free-thinking writer with insights on modern fatherhood, relationships, and raising emotionally healthy kids, at the crossroads of psychology and spirituality. Multiple degrees in Psychology. Husband. Father. Counselor\/Therapist. Kelly Jackson is a Christian, wife, and mother who walked away from &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2026\/03\/10\/the-dirty-s-word\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;The Dirty \u201cS\u201d Word&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0},"categories":[12,4,5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1193"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1195,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions\/1195"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}