{"id":1036,"date":"2025-05-09T09:14:52","date_gmt":"2025-05-09T15:14:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/?p=1036"},"modified":"2025-05-09T09:16:52","modified_gmt":"2025-05-09T15:16:52","slug":"ladies-before-or-after","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2025\/05\/09\/ladies-before-or-after\/","title":{"rendered":"Ladies, Before or After?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/olly-murs-1024x1016.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1037\" width=\"517\" height=\"512\" srcset=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/olly-murs-1024x1016.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/olly-murs-300x298.jpg 300w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/olly-murs-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/olly-murs-768x762.jpg 768w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/olly-murs-100x100.jpg 100w, https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/olly-murs.jpg 1320w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 517px) 100vw, 517px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>So, ladies, who do you choose? If you choose the Olly Murs on the right (<em>after<\/em>), you are in the extreme minority. Yes, most women chose the Olly on the left (<em>before<\/em>). I conducted a small survey that reached just over 300 people. The results were polarized: 100% of the females chose the&nbsp;<em>before<\/em>&nbsp;Olly and 100% of the males chose the&nbsp;<em>after<\/em>&nbsp;Olly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m not about to blow your mind with any radical insight, but I will let science and experience give us some intel on why most women choose the&nbsp;<em>before<\/em>&nbsp;Olly. When I showed this to my beautiful wife, who is a bit more visually inclined than the average female (you wouldn\u2019t know it looking at my ugly self), she quickly said the&nbsp;<em>before<\/em>&nbsp;Olly was much better looking. But why? What\u2019s even more bizarre is how every dude said the&nbsp;<em>after<\/em>&nbsp;Olly looked better. But why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Why Did Men Choose&nbsp;<em>After<\/em>?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When men see the&nbsp;<em>before<\/em>&nbsp;Olly, they see a lazy guy who sits around and eats chips while others are working hard. He sees an apathetic lack of ambition. When men see the&nbsp;<em>after<\/em>&nbsp;Olly, they see success. They see achievement. Men see the&nbsp;<em>after<\/em>&nbsp;Olly as diligent and determined. They see one less thing for women to dislike them for. There is an approachability bias in society when it comes to gender differences in body image. What isn\u2019t talked about much is the level of&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/search.informit.org\/doi\/abs\/10.3316\/INFORMIT.585209858722018\">body dysmorphia and muscle dysmorphia<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.substack.com\/p\/ladies-before-or-after#footnote-1-163168665\"><sup>1<\/sup><\/a>&nbsp;among men. It\u2019s higher than you realize. Body Dysmorphia Disorder (BDD) affects&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/bdd.iocdf.org\/professionals\/prevalence\/\">approximately 2.9%<\/a>&nbsp;of the US population. Of that population, 60% are female and 40% are male. That equals to around 3.8M men and boys in America. It is traditionally understood that women have great support for each other in the area of BDD. Men, on the other hand, are afraid to even say it out loud for fear of being called weak. So, in order to avoid this, some work out until the feelings of BDD are gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not the only explanation. Men also are hardwired to achieve. To hunt and gather. To protect. You can\u2019t protect anyone if you\u2019re weak. Men traditionally compete for resources, including, but not limited to, the attention of the most fertile women in the community. This is basic evolutionary biology. This may explain why men see the&nbsp;<em>after<\/em>&nbsp;Olly as better, but this does not explain women\u2019s preferences. Women are generally more attracted to masculinity for protection, provision, and procreation. Evolutionarily speaking, this made sense. So why would 100% of women say that the&nbsp;<em>before<\/em>&nbsp;Olly was better looking?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3>Why Did Women Choose&nbsp;<em>Before<\/em>?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When you ask women this, the answers vary. Some say the&nbsp;<em>after<\/em>&nbsp;Olly looks aggressive. Some say he looks like he spends too much time in the gym and doesn\u2019t have time for his other relationships, including romantic relationships. Some say that the&nbsp;<em>before<\/em>&nbsp;Olly looks warm, approachable, sweet, caring, humorous, and emotionally available. There are various explanations for this. Some women have been hurt by narcissistic men who care more about their image than their character. Some women have been abandoned when men go through a physical transition, giving them an aversion to an above average muscular physique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another explanation is that testosterone in men decreases when they get married.<a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.substack.com\/p\/ladies-before-or-after#footnote-2-163168665\"><sup>2<\/sup><\/a>&nbsp;Their testosterone decreases again when they move into fatherhood.<a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.substack.com\/p\/ladies-before-or-after#footnote-3-163168665\"><sup>3<\/sup><\/a>&nbsp;So, the before Olly looks more like a married father than the after Olly. Now couple that with the fact that, as Dr. Sarah E. Hill, PhD. has noted,&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/sarahehillphd.substack.com\/p\/yes-birth-control-can-affect-who\">women who are on the birth control pill desire a less masculine man<\/a>. So women desire the man that isn\u2019t slobby, but isn\u2019t cut. They want the man that will meet their emotional needs before any physical needs. They desire a man that they don\u2019t have to fear will display too much aggression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Put this altogether, and you have some ideas as to why 100% of women said the&nbsp;<em>before<\/em>&nbsp;Olly was more attractive and 100% of men said the&nbsp;<em>after<\/em>&nbsp;Olly was more desireable. This is yet another display of just how vastly different the two genders are (yes, I said two). This gives me and my dad-bod some hope. Hope that my wife won\u2019t find herself desiring the super-cut meathead at the gym anytime soon. Now, where did I put those chips?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Stay Classy GP!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grainger<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">References<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.substack.com\/p\/ladies-before-or-after#footnote-anchor-1-163168665\">1<\/a> Phillipou, A., &amp; Castle, D. (2015). Body dysmorphic disorder in men.<em>&nbsp;Australian Family Physician, 44<\/em>(11), 798\u2013801.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.substack.com\/p\/ladies-before-or-after#footnote-anchor-2-163168665\">2<\/a> Holmboe, S. A., Priskorn, L., J\u00f8rgensen, N., Skakkebaek, N. E., Linneberg, A., Juul, A., &amp; Andersson, A. (2017). Influence of marital status on testosterone levels\u2013A ten year follow-up of 1113 men.<em>&nbsp;Psychoneuroendocrinology, 80<\/em>, 155\u2013161.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.psyneuen.2017.03.010\">https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1016\/j.psyneuen.2017.03.010<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.substack.com\/p\/ladies-before-or-after#footnote-anchor-3-163168665\">3<\/a> Gettler, L. T., McDade, T. W., Feranil, A. B., &amp; Kuzawa, C. W. (2011). Longitudinal evidence that fatherhood decreases testosterone in human males.<em>&nbsp;Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences &#8211; PNAS, 108<\/em>(39), 16194\u201316199.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1073\/pnas.1105403108\">https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1073\/pnas.1105403108<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, ladies, who do you choose? If you choose the Olly Murs on the right (after), you are in the extreme minority. Yes, most women chose the Olly on the left (before). I conducted a small survey that reached just over 300 people. The results were polarized: 100% of the females chose the&nbsp;before&nbsp;Olly and 100% &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2025\/05\/09\/ladies-before-or-after\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Ladies, Before or After?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0},"categories":[166,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1036"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1036"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1036\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1039,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1036\/revisions\/1039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tidbitsofaudacity.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}