Adam and Eve. We’ve all heard the story in Genesis chapter 3 a thousand times. Eve eats the fruit she isn’t supposed to, mankind is doomed, child birth becomes painful… yada yada yada. I’ve heard that story a thousand times. But only in my 30’s did I start to see things in it that changed the way I looked at that story. It changed the way I parent. It changed the way I see people.
Let’s start with the fact that in verse 6, she took the fruit, ate it and then gave some to her husband… WHO WAS THERE! He witnessed the whole thing and never said a word…and even joined in! So many lay this on Eve but Adam was responsible for their relationship and Adam, by doing nothing, did something. He signed off on it. He endorsed it. He put his stamp of approval on this act.
Or how about in verse 7, their eyes are opened and they notice for the first time that they’re naked. Yes, the Garden of Eden was a nudist colony. So they make coverings for themselves by sewing fig leaves together… that’s huge… more about that in a minute.
Verse 8… They hid from GOD! Haha! Really? They must’ve thought they were future hide and seek champions of the world to able to hide from the Guy that created them!
But Verse 9 is a really big one. Really big. “God called to the man and said, ‘Where are you?’” A couple of things that are huge here. One, He wasn’t looking for Adam and Eve. He didn’t ask because He didn’t know where they were. He asked to make them realize for themselves where they were. Sometimes we need to be reminded where we are. Sometimes we’re so focused on outward appearance and things that don’t matter that we forget where we are… or where we’re supposed to be.
Another huge thing here is that He called to the MAN. Not the couple. Not Eve. Wait… but they both took the fruit and Eve took it first! Yes, but God created Adam to be the leader in the marriage. He was standing there when she ate it. God held ADAM accountable for the decisions of the “family”. This is important for both men and women.
For men, it’s important to note that you are responsible for the direction of the family. If you don’t already have a family, then you may want to wait until you can handle this responsibility. You’ll need to understand that you can’t be weak, you can’t be passive, and you must lead from a position of strength and love. You’re a fool if you don’t listen to your wife’s intuition. You also must learn to hear what she’s NOT saying. Yep, you read that right.
For women, it’s important to trust your husband and let him make mistakes, as long as they aren’t the same mistakes frequently. That’s a different conversation for a different day. But unfortunately, in Ephesians 5:22, the Bible never says “Follow your husbands as long as they make you happy” or “Follow your husbands unless they make a mistake”. Paul wrote this knowing he was talking about a very flawed group of guys. It’s sometimes hard to follow someone that doesn’t appear worthy of following, but just understand that when a major family decision is made, God looks to the man as being responsible for the decision and direction of the family and God will always bless the man for stepping up and the woman for following. If he fails to step up, God will deal with him accordingly. If the woman fails to follow or attempts to lead, God will deal with her accordingly. God is a God of order and if we get in line with His order and stop being overly concerned with our own order, we’ll find that life goes so much more smoothly. There are certain things that God designed a certain way. It’s our job to follow that order.
Next, God lists all the things in their lives that are about to change. All of the consequences of their disobedience. And it’s important to note that they had consequences for their behavior. Some of y’all need to place serious consequences on your children when they do not meet expectations that you’ve set. It needs to hurt. It needs to sting. They need to know you’re serious. Otherwise, your words mean nothing and they learn nothing. You do them NO favors letting them off lightly with acts that deserve strong punishment. Your job is not to be their friend. Your job is to “Train your children in the way they should go and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Prov 22:6.
Lastly, the biggest reveal of the entire story. Right after God hands down a severe punishment (literally kicked them out of their house and made them live somewhere else), He does this. Verse 21- “The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.” No big deal, right? Wait a minute… in verse 7 they made clothes for themselves from fig leaves. So they didn’t need clothes. So why did God make them clothes? He basically said, “You went to Goodwill but now I’m taking my kids to Nordstrom’s.” Because even in disappointment, anger, consequence, and punishment, He never stopped parenting. He never stopped caring. He never stopped loving.
There’s so much to take just from that last verse. We can see that even when we mess up, when we know we’ve made errors, errors that no one could possibly forgive, He forgives anyway. He’s still there parenting, caring. We can also take away from this that once our punishment is handed down to our children, it’s vital that we continue to parent by loving. When both are present, discipline and love, it sticks.
Parenting has never been for the weak in mind and heart. But it’s extremely rewarding. I don’t want to think about who I would be if I wasn’t a dad. Probably writing this from prison. Not kidding. Maybe…Nope. Prison. Stop trying to be perfect. Just continue to chase the best parent of all time. Also, never forget- perfect parents DO exist. They just don’t have children yet.
Stay Classy GP!
Grainger